To think that 2 hours is far too long to eat a small bowl off porridge?

[Smileybutstressed]

We have DSD (5) staying. At times her behaviour is a challenge (all with all 5 yr olds) but she has hardly eaten a thing all the while she's been here.

She's still sat nursing a bowl of porridge on her lap now complaining that its now 'too cold' 'has hairs in' and 'I want coco pops.'

She has always been quite a fussy water but then I know that her mum and even my DP didn't have the best diets when she was small. DP says that they are a lot of takeaway food as his ex wasnt too keen on cooking.

I always make an effort to make everything from scratch. I grow my own veggies to save money and have always put veg on DSDs plate. My own DD (17 months) eats fruit and veg like its going out of fashion.

I always try an encourage DSD to et healthily. I've tried making a hedgehog out of a mango, fruit pizzas, she helps me cook tea every night but she still won't eat anything.

She started school in September an I thought that her eating habits would improve but to no avail.

Her teeth are rotting really badly and when we pick her up from her mums she always has a bottle of coke or fanta with her.

Struggling for ideas she will happily eat crisps, chocolate, chips etc but IMO they should be occasional treats not the norm.
She's quite overweight already and I know that kids are all so different and varying at this age but I just worry about her.

Any ideas? Thanks in advance

Fail to see why this is your issue. It's dhs. By constantly harping on about the mum you completely fail to notice dh is an adult who is LETTING this slide. If parenting is 50/50, he ain't showing up at all is he?

Pick your battles. Make it dh. You might want to think carefully to as if you split, this is what he would be like with your child too.

What about giving your DSD a choice of meal? Say, "Home made omelette or home made chow mein." If she doesn't want either, tell her that you will choose for her from those two but that's all that's on offer for the next meal. Giving in to her every time is losing the battle.

What about her helping to make a pizza - choosing the topping etc? Or helping to make anything else, come to that?

Mcsqueezy was there any need for that really? I haven't said that DD is perfect and I'm perfectly aware that we will have battles with her in the future. I'm talking about a child who has never had the chance of a healthy diet.

And yes my DP is completely lousy in the healthy eating department BUT he enjoys fruit and vegetables. We have never forced DSD to eat anything not have we 'humiliated' her either. We've gently encouraged her. Given her 30 minutes and after that time asked if she would like any more. If she declines then we take the plate away and if she carries on eating then that's her choice entirely.

You make me sound like some monster!! Absolubtely far from it! DP does need to step up to the plate. The reason I haven't taken a step back is because DP hasn't 'taken a step forward' as it were. Somebody has to try and provide healthy meals. It's not like I'm cooking sloppy sprouts and snail mush and forcing her to eat it. I'm doing normal but healthy dinners like spaghetti bolognaise, lasagne, Sunday dinner, shepherds pie even fish fingers and beans with mashed potato.

Presumably there's been another meal since the porridge?

How did that go?

Think you have to bend, and to take a long view. I know it's hard.

I did some AWFUL things trying to get dcs to eat 'properly'. It's easy to just have one immediate goal and do everything to achieve it. But you do look back and think wtaf was I doing?

There needs to be more of an overlap with the food you eat and the food she eats at home-do you/your OH really want her to think of you/your home as a place of being forced to eat gopping stuff, where you puke in the kitchen bin?

How about, after your LO is in bed tonight, you make some popcorn or something and sit on the sofa together and eat it? Have a giggle?

...food means a lot to kids. I have never ever felt so homesick than when being encouraged to eat something unpalatable in someone else's house

Fish pie

There are always a few in AIBU. I hope OP ignores the haters.

Ops intentions are good. And little girl is lucky somebody cares what she eats. Op already said up thread that she will consider taking baby steps towards changing her diet. But she will be doing that little girl a lot of good if she can improve her diet. Even if only while in their house, and even if just by a little bit.

disagreeing with their draconian attempts to force a child to eat, does not make me a hater. Add an extra layer that the child is away from her mum, and loathes the op's food so much that she vomits. I did a RL straw poll of nine mums that I saw today and asked them 'could you sit by and watch for two hours as your partner forced his child to sit in front of food they found to be disgusting?" guess what? Not one... That's nine 'haters' out of nine!

Erm I asked her if she would like to try a raw carrot dwarf she did so of her own accord and then threw up.

I didn't force her to do it nor did I make her feel guilty for throwing it up.

She has had a couple of spoonfuls of tomato soup and half a slice of white bread. And guess what!?? I actually let her have some chocolate!!

Did you hear that haters?

What else has she had today?

As I suspected her sensory responses to new foods are messed up and she's already seeing them as a danger. Please don't give her new foods again for a while. She needs to feel safe and unpressured. Just give in - give her what she wants - it won't hurt you, her or anyone else.

Eating disorders are quick to develop and very very hard to recover from. You are more likely to die of an eating disorder than depression.

Not haters. Just feel sorry for kid with cold porridge. Bleugh.