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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS dressing up as Elsa

113 replies

MyIronLung · 01/01/2015 23:17

Today DS (3) got an Elsa (from Frozen) dress. He loves it! He was walking around saying that he was so pretty and singing (trying to) Let it go
Before this hes never shown any interest in any kind of dressing up but recently, while watching Frozen, hes been commenting on how pretty and sparkly Elsas dress is and that he would like one.
I think he looks so lovely in it. He has no concept of 'boys and girls toys' so to him it's just dressing up. (He also has typically 'girly' toys such as a kitchen, necklace threading beads ect).
He's a 'typical' boy. Boisterous, loves lego, cars, trains, monsters and now Elsa.
My step dad on the other hand is not impressed. He would deny it but he's very homophobic, to him I think he sees it as a gateway dress!

I just wanted To ask, aibu to let DS have and enjoy this dress < disclaimer...I don't think I am >

OP posts:

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 03/01/2015 18:29

Ds2 had a lovely party dress at the age of 3, because his best friend (female) had a party dress and he wanted one too.

For Christmas that year he wanted (and got) a baby doll plus pushchair. A (male, Australian) acquaintance of ours asked in horror "do you want him to grow up to be a poof?" Wanker.

grannytomine · 03/01/2015 18:33

When my son was little it was the Peter Pan film and he wanted to be Wendy and loved dressing up as her. At well over 6ft and macho he still called Wendy when his brothers want to wind him up.

fluffling · 03/01/2015 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 03/01/2015 19:27

My parents' 'gentle steering' of my brother away from nail varnish and 'girl's' toys did nothing, apart from confirming to him at an early age that anything that varied from the norm was awkward and embarrassing for them.

Which is why he didn't come out to them as a gay man until he'd moved away from home, and why he's never taken his partner of four years to meet them.

Children aren't stupid. They see through 'gentle steering' for what it really is.

ithoughtofitfirst · 03/01/2015 20:01

No nothing is safe

My dad still "can't come to terms with" my brother being gay after about 5 years you can still tell he's uncomfortable about it. I just don't get why people care and what exactly it is that they feel they have to come to terms with.

Sorry off-topic Op

Original poster

MyIronLung · 03/01/2015 20:09

I agree ithoughtofit. My ds will always be my gorgous boy no matter who he loves/fancies.

As for nail varnish. Ds has his nails painted occasionally . I also have a 17 yr old dd who regularly paints her nails, ds sees her doing it and wants pretty nails too.
It's amazing the amount of cats bum faces I get for that!

OP posts:

ithoughtofitfirst · 03/01/2015 20:49

That's awesome. Ds loves having colours on his nails. When my bro told me he was gay he was trembling and it broke my heart because like ostentatious says he'd picked up on the years of being steered away from anything feminine and was scared we would disapprove. The hell am I making my boy ashamed of who he turns out to be.

OpiesOldLady · 03/01/2015 21:01

I have discovered painting nails makes my kids sit still in the same spot for at least twenty minutes. It's great. We do it on rainy dreary school holiday days.

Elisheva · 03/01/2015 21:27

Although I wholeheartedly agree that kids can dress up however takes their fancy I think it is naive to think that everyone in RL would react in a reasonable manner.
My lovely DS chose pink Peppa Pig slippers for nursery and was delighted with them. When he wore them at nursery another child said 'They're for girls'; not in a mean way, just matter of fact. My DS was upset and embarrassed because he thought he'd made a mistake, and he hid his slippers. It took a while to find out what had happened and I was so sad that he'd been made to feel like that because I'd assumed it wouldn't be a problem. So I would be cautious about letting my children choose to do something socially unconventional until they were aware and prepared for people's possible reactions, and they could make an informed decision.

ithoughtofitfirst · 03/01/2015 22:09

Awww that made me sad elis bless him. Sadly I see your logic.

TooManyMochas · 03/01/2015 22:54

My 3yo DS has shown zero interest in dresses. I feel left out .

Original poster

MyIronLung · 05/01/2015 13:26

Elish that makes me sad too. I will never "gently steer" DS away from what he likes but I will be there for him and try to explain why things like that are ever said to him. (If they ever are, this time next week it could all be about batman!)

OP posts:

Roomba · 05/01/2015 14:50

I misread this as 'DH dressing up as Elsa'! And thought, well, if that's what floats his boat....

But seriously, so what if your DS likes it? Let him enjoy it - it won't be long before he starts school and he gets socialised into the whole boys things/girls things... such a shame.

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