To hate this man who said 'cancer is the best way to die'

[Sallystyle]

Stop wasting billions trying to cure cancer, it's the best way to die,' says former BMJ editor

So death from cancer is the best ... You can say goodbye, reflect on your life, leave last messages, perhaps visit special places for a last time, listen to favourite pieces of music, read loved poems, and prepare, according to your beliefs, to meet your maker or enjoy eternal oblivion.

Well, fuck him I say.

Yeah, that is very true.

It's all shit isn't it. Whichever way.

This man's comments make me so angry.

Lost my mum to breast cancer. She was only 56 and fought the 'bastard' cancer with absolutely everything that was available to get some extra time. I will never forget the terror and pain in her face and suffer from carcinophobia as a result.

Obviously never realised how lucky she was ... (bitter laugh)

Yep, I developed severe health anxiety through it all.

It was mainly due to not wanting my children to have to watch me die as well and now I am still a fucking nervous phobic anxious wreck who can't even stand to look at my own body incase I find something cancerous.

blurt/

He is making comparisons on modes of death which is stupid and lazy

Why? I think it's extremely important to do this.

no one gets to chose, suicide excepted, which he conveniently leaves out.

He might have done, but I didn't.

He is concluding that cancer is the best way to die, so stop spending money trying to cure it.

IMO that is not what he said.

Well, let's hope he doesn't find himself slowly strangling to death of an aggressive lung tumour, unable to be vented or use CPAP due to tumour, still waking up despite huge doses of sedative as there is no mets to the brain, in panic unable to breathe.

He didn't articulate that but he suggested that in his opinion there were worse ways to die. I described a few of them but didn't go as far as you. It is entirely your prerogative to do that and it doesn't distress me. It may distress others but it is up to them to take it up with you.

expat you have your own experience and I would never diminish that.

But so do others.

I maintain that it was an extremely useful article and has been misrepresented.

I've spent the past 18 months having treatment for cancer. At one point my chances of survival were put at 30%.

I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself but I also began to think about how dying from cancer would feel. I thought about those poor souls in Syria who were being raped, tortured, buried alive and beheaded. I decided that if my time were up cancer wasn't the worst way to go.
I started to put together memory boxes for my children. I was able to talk to my mum and dh about things that I wouldn't have wanted left unsaid.

I know not everyone with cancer has the chance to put their life in order but most do. I understand where he is coming from and think his comments have been taken out of context.

Yeah, it is a horrid thought isn't it? I just wish I could put it to one side like most of us do, but the thoughts are so intrusive that they take over and lead to awful health anxiety that is controlling my life right now.

I know that it will all get better though :)

All death is hard- maybe he was trying to say that doctors need to accept it more and medicalise it less- which I kind of agree for the elderly (sorry elderly/and as I get older so does my notion of 'elderly').
However, he didn't say that outright.

For me, I guess there are only two kinds of deaths untimely and timely- and I'm holding out for number two...

My exDH dies of a massive heart attack in his sleep - he was 47. It was the best death for him in terms that it was quick and he was unaware but no matter his manner of death it was painful for everyone else who loved him. I have suffered heart attacks and had a cardiac arrest where I officially died and was then successfully resuscitated. I was totally unaware at the time but now I am petrified of it happening again. My affairs are in order, just in case.

Death in any form is a horrendous thing for those we leave behind

Toggo, do you mind if I ask how carcinophobia affects you? I ask because I'm sure that most of us whose parents (in particular) have died of cancer, perhaps while we nursed them, have an enhanced fear of getting cancer ourselves. I haven't heard of carcinophobia before, and wonder what symptoms that has. Poor you, so sorry to hear your mum's death was so awful.

You don't have to answer, obviously - please ignore this post if too upsetting to think about.

I have now lost friends in real life over this. Joy. This guy is a cunt extraordinnaire.

Yes, mrs dv, I agree, a massive over-simplification.

Why did he publish it?

Carcinophobia is what I have too but I call mine health anxiety. Not to answer for the poster but it works exactly like health anxiety does, just with cancer instead. It is a very awful phobia that has ruined 4 years of my life.

What happened expat?

Actually, I apologise.

I think carcinophobia effects people a bit differently than health anxiety due to the fact that they believe they can catch it and they worry more about what they eat and things that can cause it.

Is that right Toggo?

Like Lady Penny, I've recently been treated for breast cancer. I've also just had my ovaries removed to prevent cancer there as I have the BRCA2 gene. I'm 37 and have a 7, 4 and 1 year old. While I'm not planning to die from cancer any time soon, I am grateful that I've had time to do all sorts of things. I know not everyone does get that time,but I'd rather die of cancer than in a RTA or with dementia.

You can have months and months of confusion and losing your capacity with brain tumours and secondaries that reach the brain. How is that better than any other disease, including Dementia?

Very good point.

The vast majority of us will die in a hospital due to an exacerbation of a pre existing illness or due to an accident.
My beloved dad dropped dead in front of me 18 months ago.
I performed CPR to no avail.
A few months later his sister, my aunt, died of cancer.
Which is a better death?
I honestly don't know.
I know it's the way my dad would have wanted to go...one minute he was here, the next he was gone.
My aunt suffered...she weighed about 5 stone by the time she died. She died vomiting blood. It was very distressing to see her suffer as she did.
But I got to tell her I loved her. I got to see her one last time about 5 hours before she died. I got to prepare I suppose.
I would give everything I have for 1 more minute with my dad. To tell him I loved him. I can't even remember the last thing I said to him.
Selfish? Yes.
I don't think it's that one type of death is better...they are just different kinds of awful.
My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones on this thread x

That is why it seems a ridiculous claim

No MrsDeVere.

It is his pov expressed in a calm manner.

I happen to agree with it. You don't.

He's not trying to shut down anyone else's POV.

My mum dies yesterday morning, from cancer.

She had a diagnosis that was terminal about 3 years ago, and in those three years she did visit a lot of places, see people, received treatment to shrink the tumours.

She went in to hospital in October and was transferred to a hospice in December. In her last week or two she was visited by relatives and friends.

If there could be a good death she had it, gradually sleeping more and more and finally passing in her sleep.

So sorry to hear about your mum, sashh, but I'm glad she passed peacefully.