To hate this man who said 'cancer is the best way to die'

[Sallystyle]

Stop wasting billions trying to cure cancer, it's the best way to die,' says former BMJ editor

So death from cancer is the best ... You can say goodbye, reflect on your life, leave last messages, perhaps visit special places for a last time, listen to favourite pieces of music, read loved poems, and prepare, according to your beliefs, to meet your maker or enjoy eternal oblivion.

Well, fuck him I say.

He's assuming a 'good' treatment, an early diagnosis....many things.

Have any of you actually read the article? That's not really what he's saying, is it.....

The misinterpretation of the written word alive and well on MN today

Utter prick

Ok, I concede the point that the ITV article wasn't the best one to read or quote and they perhaps did misinterpret his point.

However, reading the original article I still do not agree with what he says and it doesn't match my experience whatsoever of people dying with cancer.

I hate him for saying this. Too close to home for me. To assume that someone with cancer gets to even make a bucket list is fucking ignorant

From his blog

This is, I recognise, a romantic view of dying, but it is achievable with love, morphine, and whisky.

Ha fucking ha. My ex couldn't manage to visit special places or make lists etc with morphine or whisky. It is not achievable for that many people at all.

For god's sake, read what he actually says! Talk about kneejerk reactions.

But stay away from overambitious oncologists...

These are the words immediately before those quoted by OP, and her media source. Reading the blog blogs.bmj.com/bmj/2014/12/31/richard-smith-dying-of-cancer-is-the-best-death/ is quick and very clearly does not say what the media source the OP read claims.

Lazy, despicable journalism....

Nomama, I do feel I should point out that at least two of the posters saying read it properly are journalists (and I'm a health journalist)

Don't let the facts get in the way of your opinion, OP.

I have to say I agree with him.

I say this as someone who has watched a loved one - in my case my darling dad - die from cancer. I think it CAN be a (relatively) good way to die. My dad had three months in which to get things in order, say goodbye, and yes, it was a 'good death'.

I do appreciate that others don't have the same experience of cancer though.

My mother had a very good death but she was pissed off at having to go.

My father had a reasonably good death too, once he'd completely lost his mind, which took two years of watching him die bit by bit in front of us.

It was punctuated with moments of extreme terror, violence and regret when, in moments of lucidity, he remember what the disease had made him do and what he was losing.

Those moments got briefer and briefer until one day they were gone. From that moment on I'd say he was at peace because he didn't know a thing. But he still existed for another year.

You cannot choose your death unless you want to end your own life, and then that choice is forced upon you.

Suffering and dying is not a game of top trumps.

Dsf has Alzheimers. He also has prostate cancer which is what will kill him. He's in his late eighties and if properly managed (pain wise etc) then yes, the prostate cancer is the better way to go. He will still know his family and comprehend some of the world around him.

I used to work as a doctor and I would say best ways to die are as follows:
massive stroke in sleep
massive heart attack in sleep
killed instantaneously in RTA
Cancer is a shitty slow and often painful way to go.

Worst ways to die is a toss up between MS and motor neurone. That is just based on my observations.

OP, really sorry you have had such loss and I can understand why you reacted as you did.

But I do think the article is an interesting philosophical discussion point, and if we are brave enough, a subject more of us could benefit from thinking about more often.

I am really pleased that my DN and DN still have their mother 13 years after she was dx'd with aggressive breast cancer, which is now, not infrequently, a curable disease, so can only celebrate the ongoing investment in better cures. However cancer is many different diseases and I watch in anguish as other people close to me have to decide between drawn out, long-shot, unpleasant treatment, or facing up to a shorter journey.

Cancer (a terrible disease, of course) is such a feature on our lives because we have fended off other forms of earlier death. No death is a good death, but none of us escape it.

motherinferior I was only referring to the lazy, despicable journos that did preferred to quite shite, out of context tut guaranteed to cause upset, the ones that OP first read, itv.com. Honest!

I usually refer to it as The Meeja, to differentiate it from the proper stuff - which I am sure is the only journalism you are responsible for

He must speak from a position of having never seen anyone die from cancer because having watched a close relative die of it recently, I wouldn't wish death by cancer on my worst enemy. From diagnosis to death it was 12 months, a very slow painful death watching a healthy fit person, in their 50s but with the fitness of someone 20 years younger, diminish piece by piece, die a bit at a time, their abilities decrease one by one - those that we all take for granted every day. Not to mention the absolute agony and pain that even unlimited morphine couldn't cover.

They did however take comfort from being able to plan their funeral, their will etc but whether that was them trying to make the best of a bad situation rather than really being pleased that was their way out, I don't know.

From a selfish point of view I am glad they got to plan - it gave them an opportunity to write me a letter to be opened after their death, to plan which possessions I should get and that brings me much comfort as I have also lost a relative in a sudden tragic accident and I know the pain that not being able to say goodbye means too, but from the person who died of cancers point of view, I imagine they would have preferred it to all be over quickly rather than sit around for 12 months becoming weaker and weaker knowing this was it.

What I would say however is that even when someone has a terminal illness it doesn't always mean you get to say goodbye properly. In my case, I had seen the person the week before they died and they had looked the best they had in ages and were even able to walk a bit that day (they had been confined to a wheelchair). They were admitted to the hospice a few days later because they had a bit of a rough patch but this was not unusual, they were constantly having bad patches and getting through them - but on this occassion I got to the hospice expecting much of the same and they were already too far gone to know who I was. Despite appreciating they got to say goodbye to me (through the letters etc) I don't feel like i said goodbye to them. There are things i can take comfort from which we wouldn't have had had they not have died from a terminal illness, but then i'm not sure they were worth the trade off of the agony of limbo for 12 months knowing there was nothing you could do as they were going to die - but not being able to grief because they were still there, very fucked up horrible situation.

There's clearly no good way to die, but from my experience, I sure as hell know I don't want to go of cancer. He is a very ignorant and stupid man - but it may be naiviety, because before I knew someone die of cancer I may have thought much the same but the reality is somewhat different

Last year a relative of mine who was in her 30s with young children died of cancer. It was a type of cancer that most people survive and she only lived a few weeks after receiving the terminal diagnosis, so not much time to come to terms with it, never mind get through a bucket list.

A friend's much loved stepmother has probably just had her last Christmas after receiving a terminal diagnosis in December.

Most women now survive breast cancer that was once a death sentence.

So I disagree that we are wasting billions trying to cure cancer, although it is also important to encourage prevention and risk reduction as many cancers are caused by lifestyle factors.

I personally would hate to know I was dying, selfish I know. But I would forever be thinking "is today the day I'm going to die?"

Read the article.

What Dr Smith is saying is that you have to think about the effect of the way you die on those you love.

I often ask audiences how they want to die, and most people chose sudden death. “That may be OK for you,” I say, “but it may be very tough on those around you, particularly if you leave an important relationship wounded and unhealed. If you want to die suddenly, live every day as your last, making sure that all important relationships are in good shape, your affairs are in order, and instructions for your funeral neatly typed and in a top draw—or perhaps better on Facebook.”

Maybe it was a knee jerk reaction and maybe I am being unreasonable but the whole people with cancer can get a chance to say goodbye and visit special places with love, whisky and morphine made me wince.

Interesting to see others opinions.

So I disagree that we are wasting billions trying to cure cancer,

That isn't what he meant... he meant that in an ideal world we would stop allowing overambitious oncologists suggesting expensive, often painful treatments that won't help, allow all involved effective palliative care and support.

But the itv piece has wholly traduced that message and, obviously, caused a lot of distress.

Tanks Hest. Watching my children watch their dad and two granddad's die from a painful and nasty death was cruel, so yeah maybe it was just a knee jerk reaction. I can admit I might have been reading more into it.

Now off out for dinner. Have a good day people