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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Screechy loud child in swimming pool. Iabu but this is a safe place to rant

107 replies

Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/12/2014 14:21

I have ASD (moderate) and recently left my gym because the loud music, lights and people noise were all a bit too much.

There is a hotel across the road from me with a gym and pool for members and hotel guests. It was amazing going there for the first time today. There were a few other people in the pool and it was really quiet and serene.

Well, it was serene until a father and his very loud child came in and straight away played a very loud game of "tag". Kid was shouting "tag" every thirty seconds or so and generally being a loudmouthed pain in the arse.

You'd think that anyone decent would enter a swimming pool and take note of the general atmosphere and ambience before unleashing said loud kid.

I've taken my nephew swimming before, sometimes in loud public pools and once in the pool of a hotel we were all staying at. I had the social consideration to warn my six year old nephew to try and be quiet as we had walked into a what was quite a quiet pool.

It was horrible after such lovely quiet and I ended up feeling like I had to leave. I said nothing to them so this online rant is my way of getting it out! Places like Spashdown or soft play places are ideal for loudmouthed screechy kids, not very quiet hotel pools where three people are obviously relaxing. The spa prides itself in being calm and serene and there are signs everywhere telling people to be considerate of the comfort of other guests.

And rant over. I expect to be told I am being unreasonable. I have no children. I do like them though, just in small doses with the volume down.

OP posts:

deadduck · 31/12/2014 15:04

Worra I normally have quite a bit of respect for your posts, but it was a little OTT to call OP horrible, she did post with a massive disclaimer that she accepted she was BU. Also, I have kids, and would ask them to tone it down under these circumstances (quiet hotel pool).

lambsie · 31/12/2014 15:21

Some children (and adults) cannot help being noisy. Actively encouraging it in a calm place is wrong but you can never be sure that any public place, even adults only, will be quiet. Ds has autism and although he is noisy he hates 'child' noise so this makes visiting child friendly places difficult.

Aeroflotgirl · 31/12/2014 15:52

YANBU at all, but also have to understand that others use the pool too, and it is the holidays so you will get children there who are just having a bit of fun. I would go more in the evenings or early mornings, or at adult only times.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 31/12/2014 15:53

I think as far as they were concerned, the 'environment they had entered into' was a swimming pool.

Kids often LOVE swimming pools, and they often get a bit boisterous in them. It's hardly like you were disturbed in the library, at the opera or the quiet carriage of a train!

I understand you have sensory issues and am sympathetic to that, but as far as I've always been concerned, a swimming pool is a place where kids can and should be able to have fun, and if you want tranquility and quiet, you'd need to go to an adults-only pool or session.

Neverknowingly · 31/12/2014 16:10

I would have some (little) sympathy were it not the school holidays. But it is, it's a time of year where a lot of kids have been hyped up and cooped up so fair play to dad and kid for wanting to burn off some energy. If it was not an adults only time then you don't have any claim to an adult ambience.

My DS has ASD and some verbal tics. No way he could be quiet in a pool.

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 31/12/2014 17:00

Some people can be super selfish. I took my dc out for a meal the other night, ok so it was the harvester so generally quite a bustly sort of place, but there was a couple with a baby who was probably about 10 months old in a high chair. Their food came and the baby chose that moment to royally kick off and scream (as they do, i remember it well). The parents just left her in the chair and carried on eating their food, obviously thinking that the baby could scream all they liked, they were going to eat their meals. Fine, except everyone else in the restaurant had 15 minutes of extremely annoying, loud, high pitched screaming to listen to.

ProudAS · 31/12/2014 17:16

Like the OP, I have an ASD and am a member of a hotel leisure club. Touch wood noise isn't usually too bad and it's effect on me varies depending on mood. Some adults are just as bad as children with their loud voices. We don't have an adult only swim time.

I don't think it would hurt for people to keep the noise down and show consideration to those who are trying to relax. I've seen children having fun in the pool without making a racket (and some of the regulars are well behaved children) so it's not like they need to be noisy to have fun

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 17:22

YANBU. This would have annoyed the hell out of me too. The father is the inconsiderate person in all this.

joanne1947 · 31/12/2014 17:25

I tend to agree with Grapeeatingweirdo it is wrong to let a child run riot and disturb others but equally it is up to people to find out the rules and go at times to suit.
I can swim for free in my local council pool but swim is a misnomer as it is so full of children that serious swimming is virtually impossible so I pay to be a member of a private club where children are only allowed to swim at set times.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh · 31/12/2014 17:44

I used to go to a gym in a hotel. The pool was lovely and quiet all the time apart from school holidays. Bear that in mind in future.

Original poster

Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/12/2014 18:05

Thanks for your replies :) wishing you all a happy and healthy new year

OP posts:

whitesandstorm · 31/12/2014 18:09

Yanbu, nor are you to call the noisy child "loudmouth". Some children are unbelievably noisy probably because of thoughtless parents like this one who have no consideration for others. My dh and I have both noticed the increase in "loudmouth" families. The sort who seem to enjoy making as much noise as possible, probably to wind people up. I think the word "loudmouth" is quite mild. I prefer big gob.

Lilmissconcerned · 31/12/2014 21:57

I feel for you... And don't feel you are being unreasonable, and some peoples kids can only be desribed as loudmouths xxx

Meloria · 31/12/2014 22:40

YAVNBU

SorchaN · 31/12/2014 22:44

My son has ASD and is incapable of being quiet in a public pool. Mind you, I don't encourage him to be as loud as possible. On the other hand, I don't expect him to be quiet either. There are so few places where loud kids are allowed to be loud... If people don't want to be around loud children, there are lots of places they can go! I'd suggest avoiding public pools and child-friendly restaurants if peace and quiet is important...

MissHJ · 31/12/2014 22:50

What makes your enjoyment above theirs? It's a pool open for guests and public. It's a swimming pool, the child was playing. It's the school holidays, it's to be expected. I suggest you go on adult only times or during the school hours because children can be loud when they are playing.

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 22:55

Err, what makes you think that its ok for some man and his child to walk into a place with a swimming pool and scream and shout, when it was obviously not the place to do so? very bizarre.

I work with children.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2014 22:56

Pfft.
The dad was being a wanker.
The child was being annoying.
Take earplugs next time

Happy new year.

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 22:59

I also hate double standards on here... whats with the take ear plugs next time? totally quashed what you originally said.

MidniteScribbler · 31/12/2014 22:59

I do think it depends on the style of the hotel you were at. An upmarket style hotel marketing itself more towards the business travellers/honeymooners/day spa etc, I wouldn't expect to have children screeching around the swimming pool. A place marketing itself towards family vacations I'd expect it to be louder.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2014 23:02

What contradicted what I said earlier? And what double standard?

Pagwatch · 31/12/2014 23:02

Is it late? Are folk drunk?

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 31/12/2014 23:02

I sympathise with your need for peace and quiet but in this instance think yabu. Invest in ear plugs and check out adult only pool times and you should be good to go in future though.

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 23:03

Regardless of venue, wouldnt you be a bit socially aware of the situation? would you actually go in there and take no notice whatsover (this is aimed at the dad)... errr.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2014 23:04

Who are you talking to Tink. I don't understand what you are talking about at all?

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