Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Screechy loud child in swimming pool. Iabu but this is a safe place to rant

107 replies

Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/12/2014 14:21

I have ASD (moderate) and recently left my gym because the loud music, lights and people noise were all a bit too much.

There is a hotel across the road from me with a gym and pool for members and hotel guests. It was amazing going there for the first time today. There were a few other people in the pool and it was really quiet and serene.

Well, it was serene until a father and his very loud child came in and straight away played a very loud game of "tag". Kid was shouting "tag" every thirty seconds or so and generally being a loudmouthed pain in the arse.

You'd think that anyone decent would enter a swimming pool and take note of the general atmosphere and ambience before unleashing said loud kid.

I've taken my nephew swimming before, sometimes in loud public pools and once in the pool of a hotel we were all staying at. I had the social consideration to warn my six year old nephew to try and be quiet as we had walked into a what was quite a quiet pool.

It was horrible after such lovely quiet and I ended up feeling like I had to leave. I said nothing to them so this online rant is my way of getting it out! Places like Spashdown or soft play places are ideal for loudmouthed screechy kids, not very quiet hotel pools where three people are obviously relaxing. The spa prides itself in being calm and serene and there are signs everywhere telling people to be considerate of the comfort of other guests.

And rant over. I expect to be told I am being unreasonable. I have no children. I do like them though, just in small doses with the volume down.

OP posts:
Samcro · 31/12/2014 23:42

who is or are "them" ??

Neverknowingly · 31/12/2014 23:42

how precisely do you address tics?

Samcro · 31/12/2014 23:43

my dd makes a lot of noise
she is severely disabled.
but if I want to take her swimming I will.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2014 23:44

Tinks, go to bed and in the morning re-read what people have actually written, rather than whatever weird interpretation you have of their posts.

You are inadvertently being a dick, something we all do every now and again, but I'm off to bed so go and have a nice new year and perhaps stop.
See you in 2015
Happy new year.

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 23:46

oh here we go....

I think you know what I said. It doesnt need pulling apart.

Im not sure why you are talking about tics in this situation to be honest.

Neverknowingly · 31/12/2014 23:48

Am also taking your advice Pag as I can feel my guilt over several years of chastising DS over something beyond his control with the aim of making him socially acceptable bubbling up.

HNY all.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2014 23:51

HNY Neverknowingly.

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 23:51

Grin at pag... sweet dreams.

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 23:53

Fuck sake ... everyone has a damn problem that is excusable in society.. really?

Samcro · 31/12/2014 23:54

some people are just dicks

Tinks42 · 31/12/2014 23:57

Exactly, so was the bloke that brought the kid in to the pool, but hey, it was acceptable due to him not being an arse and the kid had massive problems... really?

Shattered2014 · 01/01/2015 01:15

YANBU at all. A hotel spa pool is not the same as a fun pool and it is just a pity that some people lack the common sense to realise this and behave accordingly.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 01/01/2015 01:19

I'm a member of a private gym, no kids allowed.

Still don't stop people gassing in the pool.

GlitterBelle · 01/01/2015 02:00

Sometimes disabilities clash. Mine means I find noise incredibly difficult, causes pain and a feeling of being overwhelmed. So I wouldn't go to a child's session, or even swimming at the weekend to try and avoid this.

So YANBU, I'd be frustrated to use a specifically quiet pool (not just any old pool, but one that asks everyone to be quiet and respectful) to find someone being excessively noisy. I'd have to leave, but not say anything to them.

GlitterBelle · 01/01/2015 02:04

I think the difference here is that this pool is one for being quiet. If I had a child I knew was going to make a lot of noise - for whatever reason, I wouldn't go there, I'd go to a normal pool.

Just as I wouldn't go on a Saturday afternoon and tell all the children to be quiet as their screaming is making me feel shit due to my disability.

Quitethewoodsman · 01/01/2015 02:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loveblackcats · 01/01/2015 02:32

YANBU

lambsie · 01/01/2015 07:24

I don't encourage my son to be noisy but I will not keep him away from places because he might be. Anyone expecting that is being discriminatory.

Itsgoingtoreindeer · 01/01/2015 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChoochiWoo · 01/01/2015 08:11

the game tag consists of saying tag quite often,Hmm Hmm you sound quite intolerant

Itsgoingtoreindeer · 01/01/2015 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cansu · 01/01/2015 08:18

Tbh all this children can behave according to the environment only works if they have the ability to understand whether that be because they are old enough or mature enough to understand. My ds has severe Asd and is very noisy and splashy in the pool. It is the only thing he does as a leisure activity. He cannot understand that he should be quieter and in thirteen years no one has yet been able to teach him this, nor have they been able to teach him to talk or do a myriad of other age appropriate things. Some of Tinks comments suggested that people with a 'condition' can be taught all these social conventions and whilst it is true that some can, many cannot and should be able to use local facilities without being made to feel like shit. In this particular situation, I don't really think anyone was being unreasonable. It wasn't an adults only session and so whilst I would probably have been irritated, I think it's down to the hotel to decide whether the pool is simply a bonus for all their customers to enjoy or a spa like private members environment. If I am swimming alone and want to swim, I would go to ladies only or lane swimming at a quiet time tbh.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/01/2015 08:19

The fact they were doing that was a very minor social faux pas. But it was made more intolerable to you because of your ASD and noise sensitivity OP.

So you couldn't say anything to them but I think it's fair enough for you to have a wee moan here.

People calling you horrible and intolerant are totally missing the fact you said you have moderate ASD. Not mild but moderate, which is quite disabling and can cause everyday situations to be problematic for you.

DropYourSword · 01/01/2015 08:21

You'd think that anyone decent would enter a swimming pool and take note of the general atmosphere and ambience before unleashing said loud kid.

I'm not sure I would. Maybe I'm not decent.
Grin
I know I'm not. Had a swimming pool related incident last night.

Viviennemary · 01/01/2015 08:24

I hate loud noise so I sympathise. Having this child in the pool would have made it impossible for me. there really isn't any need for people to be inconsiderate. He shouldn't even have been in the spa pool. Lots of spas don't allow children.