Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give DD any money

104 replies

Everythingwillbeok · 31/12/2014 11:51

My DD is 17 and had her birthday the week before Christmas. She was lucky enough to get about £380 off friends and family.

Christmas came she got mostly presents but also got £130 off various family.

She has asked me to lend her a fiver today to go out with her boyfriend.

I'm fuming I told her on Boxing Day to not leave herself with no money while she's off college over Christmas/ new year.

I know she's been on a couple of shopping sprees but I didn't keep checking she hadn't blown it all as she's not a child.

She's now about to go out without a penny I feel shit but I can't hand any over can I?

OP posts:
Rebecca2014 · 31/12/2014 11:53

I bet she still has money but is trying her luck!

lalalonglegs · 31/12/2014 11:57

17 years old is old enough to budget. She's had more than £500 over the past few days.

ImperfectAlf · 31/12/2014 11:57

YNBU. She needs to learn. Especially if she doesn't pay it back usually.

Namechangeyetagaintohide · 31/12/2014 11:58

God no I wouldn't. Not at any age if they ve just been given that much !

Dowser · 31/12/2014 12:00

Lend her five and tell her she will owe you £10.

That'll teach her!

( well its what banks do innit? )

Jennco · 31/12/2014 12:51

I dont think you should give her any money, She has had money herself for "fun"
If it was something important, then words would need to have been had and jobs made to be done, but in this case, you are not being unreasonable.

maninawomansworld · 31/12/2014 12:57

So she's blown £510 in a week and now is trying to cadge a fiver?

I would choose from one of two options:

  1. Tell her now way , tough luck, your problem not mine.
  2. Give her the £5 but make her pay back with interest as Dowser suggested.
Lucyccfc · 31/12/2014 12:58

I was exactly the same at that age.

My Mum told me to sod off.

Oh boy did I hate my Mum at that age. At the grand old age of 46, I now realise taught me a very valuable lesson.

rollonthesummer · 31/12/2014 12:59

Blimey-she has spent £500-what on?!

Is she bothered by your reaction?

Toughasoldboots · 31/12/2014 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GingerCuddleMonster · 31/12/2014 13:03

I wouldn't, she should have budgeted, tough titties she can't have a fiver. life is hard sometimes....

LaurieFairyCake · 31/12/2014 13:09

I'd be way more concerned about blowing 510 Shock

Seriously, reading that makes me feel ill - on what?!?

I'm trying to impress on Ds the same age that driving lessons are 30 each, and they need to be saved for.

TheMuppetsSingChristmas · 31/12/2014 13:13

See it wouldn't have even crossed my mind that she was serious when she was asking, I'd have honestly just laughed and said 'good one, dd, you nearly had me then!' and probably walked off shaking my head in amusement. Over £500 in a week? Nah, she can whistle for it!

opalstones · 31/12/2014 13:15

She's not spent it all, she's trying it on.

rollonthesummer · 31/12/2014 13:18

What on earth has she bought?!

LeonardWentToTheOffice · 31/12/2014 13:18

Is she saving gift money for something special but needs day-to-day spends?

seesensepeople · 31/12/2014 13:22

I'm going against the flow here but...

Would you give her the fiver if she had received £510 worth of gifts rather than money?
How does she normally fund trips out? Does she have a job or do you usually support these trips?
The money was a gift for her, not to cover her usual expenses.

Bananayellow · 31/12/2014 13:45

I'd laugh too and say, "you've got to be joking"

If she is really serious, you need a serious conversation about budgeting.

Mammanat222 · 31/12/2014 13:47

Gawd no, don't give her a penny!

Cannot believe she's spunked over £500 already. Maybe you need to be telling family not to be as generous in future (although the next Birthday is a big one !!)

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 31/12/2014 13:50

Cannot believe she's spunked over £500 already - wow, I'm certainly learning new phrases on MN!!!!

haphazardbystarlight · 31/12/2014 13:53

As always I am the soft touch but essentially, she's had about £250 for her birthday and the same for Christmas.

I'd let her have it Blush I might make a concession and loan her the cash.

Want2bSupermum · 31/12/2014 13:56

I would want to know how she spent the GBP510 first and then sit her down and explain she needs to save some of whatever money she receives. Use a compounding calculator to show how GBP500 saved for 1 year at 5% would give her GBP525, basically earning her GBP25 without her having to lift a finger.

I would then offer to lend her GBP5 if she pays you back GBP10 and if she doesn't pay you back tell her you will claim 'most important item to her' in lieu of payment. After all that is what banks/lenders do.

AnyoneforTurps · 31/12/2014 13:58

If she has p*ed £500 up the wall, then definitely not. If she is saving up for something worthwhile then maybe - especially if the people who gave her the money gave it for a particular thing e.g. saving for driving lessons.

greeneggsandjam · 31/12/2014 13:58

No! I hope you didn't give her any money! She has been given an awful lot recently. Unless she spent it all on course fees or something like that they she should have saved some. Also, it isn't necessary to go out and spend £5 is it?

HeartShapedBox · 31/12/2014 13:59

I'm a bit confused, her present money is for buying presents, not for usual day-to-day stuff.

she's supposed to spend it on clothes, make up, shoes, music, DVD's, whatever, so I don't understand what its got to do with anything.

Swipe left for the next trending thread