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Original poster

To not give DD any money

104 replies

Everythingwillbeok · 31/12/2014 11:51

My DD is 17 and had her birthday the week before Christmas. She was lucky enough to get about £380 off friends and family.

Christmas came she got mostly presents but also got £130 off various family.

She has asked me to lend her a fiver today to go out with her boyfriend.

I'm fuming I told her on Boxing Day to not leave herself with no money while she's off college over Christmas/ new year.

I know she's been on a couple of shopping sprees but I didn't keep checking she hadn't blown it all as she's not a child.

She's now about to go out without a penny I feel shit but I can't hand any over can I?

OP posts:
Coconutty · 31/12/2014 13:59

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GemmaTeller · 31/12/2014 14:01

God no, I wouldn't give the fiver if she's already wasted/spent all that money.

Viviennemary · 31/12/2014 14:04

I agree with giving her say £5 that would have to be paid back. And where on earth has all that money gone.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 31/12/2014 14:11

My daughter bought an ornament yesterday. She didn't have any money with her so I paid and she paid me back out of her birthday and Xmas money when we got home. It was only £6 but she went straight upstairs and got the money. She is 10years old.

LeonardWentToTheOffice · 31/12/2014 14:49

Want2bSupermum Where is this account that pays 5% interest these days??? Xmas Confused

annielouisa · 31/12/2014 14:57

Do you know where the money has gone? Has she bought lots of clothes, perfume DVD ect or been subsidising her and boyfriends partying.

When my family give DC or GDC money in lieu of presents its usually to be saved by the DC or spent on clothes toys ect. People do not usually give money as a present to be a replacement of college or school funds for children who Child benefit is still being claimed.

Toughasoldboots · 31/12/2014 14:58

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Toughasoldboots · 31/12/2014 15:00

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quirkycutekitch · 31/12/2014 15:00

If the argument is that the CB should pay for a 17 year olds day to day living costs then how much do you think the child should receive directly?

Toughasoldboots · 31/12/2014 15:01

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SacredHeart · 31/12/2014 15:03

How would she usually pay for days out etc? Does she get an allowance or do you give her cash willy-nilly?

If she has an allowance and has spent that then she should use her gift money.
If you usually just give her money when she asks for it then you've made a rod for your own back and should give her the cash.

My parents gave me an allowance from 13 and once it was spent - tough titties.

Vivacia · 31/12/2014 15:07

(Can you imagine having £500 at that age?! I was living off about £80 earnings a week and holiday jobs, living in a bedsit doing my A Levels).

championnibbler · 31/12/2014 15:07

i wouldn't give her a penny.

what did she blow all her cash on?

haphazardbystarlight · 31/12/2014 15:09

She probably bought at least some Christmas presents to be fair.

And spent some in the sales.

A couple of night out.

I probably spend more in December than any other month: as a near Christmas baby myself I sympathise.

JingleBellSniffer · 31/12/2014 15:14

i did this before I found the wonder of monthly bus passes. I used to ask for bus fare as whats the point in getting all that money and spending it on bus fares?

Original poster
Everythingwillbeok · 31/12/2014 17:09

Sorry to post and run......promised to take younger DD bowling just got in.

She took it very well when I said no, I said you've got to be kidding me? Please tell me you've not spent up? Yeah pretty much so she said!

She does have a part time job and she's working this Saturday so that will be £25 in her pocket but even so I'm really annoyed but I suppose it wasnt my money.

She's had to buy no presents at all I bought those.....I think it's gone on a watch, some trainers, MAC make up, a coat, two pairs of jeans and about 5 tops. Also took her boyfriend ice skating and for some food.

I'm still annoyed though. She'll struggle on for the rest of the holidays now I suppose not even having enough for a McDonalds.

OP posts:
CalicoBlue · 31/12/2014 17:16

My view is that Birthday and Christmas money is to be used for presents, not going out, unless to a concert or somewhere special. It looks like she has saved you money by buying clothes with it.

I would give the £5.

LynetteScavo · 31/12/2014 17:17

"She'll struggle on for the rest of the holidays now I suppose not even having enough for a McDonalds."

Er....that's life!

DS1's cash card wasn't working....DH took him in to the bank to find out why...discovered it was because he had no money in his account! Grin

But it's much better he learned his lesson at 15yo, than 18yo and at uni.

Bananayellow · 31/12/2014 17:20

If she's struggling and doing without for the next few days, then hopefully she will have learned a lesson . If you keep bailing her out then she'll never learn.

Bowlersarm · 31/12/2014 17:25

I'd give her the £5.00.

Her christmas/birthday money would have been for her to buy herself some things, not on going out.

WhereIsMyGin · 31/12/2014 17:27

If you normally give her money to go out, then I'd let her have it.

Personally at that age I wouldn't have asked, regardless of whether I'd had present money, but she obviously feels able to and that's fine. Families are different and I hope my kids feel more able to ask for money than I ever was.

Gifted money is for presents and treats, not day to day.

Toughasoldboots · 31/12/2014 17:28

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SacredHeart · 31/12/2014 17:32

As she has a job and therefore earns her money I would not give her a penny.

I think it's outrageous that after spending her work money and receiving so much gift money she had the cheek to ask!

SoonToBeSix · 31/12/2014 17:35

Her birthday/Xmas money was meant to be fun money. I don't think she is unreasonable to have spent it.

Namechangeyetagaintohide · 31/12/2014 17:36

At 17 with a job I'm surprised anyone would be buying their DD clothes unless as presents.

She's spend 500 pounds ?! That's more than I can afford to spend in 2 months !

I wouldn't give her the money under any circumstances. In fact id be pretty angry she's spent the lot without even thinking an then tried to borrow off me. My mother would have been horrified if is ever done that. And I'm not that much older than your DD either.

I can't believe people pay for their 17 year olds day out.