To think my brother does not have bipolar disorder?

[CundtBake]

My brother is early 20s and lives at home with our parents.

He doesn't work, he claims ESA (I think that's what it's called?) by saying he is depressed and basically spends it all on weed.

He is so lazy. His new tactic seems to be to convince himself that he has various mental health disorders to get him out of doing anything. Nothing has ever been diagnosed (other than depression years ago).

When he doesn't have weed he is moody and can't sleep. He's now decided he needs to be tested for bipolar disorder. AIBU in thinking he's taking the puss and he's just a lazy drug addict? I'm so fed up of him minimising mental health disorders like this. Surely if he had bipolar disorder it would be noticeable?

My 11 year old said he wants a job, doesn't care where it is as long as he gets sick pay and can take it three times a week!

Oh ffs raltheraffe.

You are talking crap.

"I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume they are faking their illness. Maybe her brother is lazy and unmotivated but hey, guess what....lazy and demotivated people get depression too!"

Often people who appear lazy and demotivated ARE depressed, hence they hang around doing very little.

OP why don't you tell him to "pull yourself together", that one works wonders with depressed people.

Or maybe she knows her brother better than you do?

OP herself is no stranger to mental illness. You have the wrong end of the stick here, but don't let that stop you.

The fact OP has MH issues only lends weight to the fact her brother may as well, as MH problems often have a genetic component.

U2 I suspect that although the OP has said "I wonder if my brother is lying" raltheraffe has read "All people who claim to have MH issues are liars". You might as well save your "breath".

if the op's brother does have mh issues that does not mean necessarily he can not be responsible for himself

there are many many people who have mh issues that live fully functioning lives

there are many people who do not want to take responsibility for themselves this is not necessarily down to their mh problem

Omg I think we have the same brother!!
My poor old mum works 12hrs most days as a carer to feed him n keep a roof over his head, whilst he sits at home puffing claiming ESA, only illness he has is Lazyitis! Can't stand it. My mum is now too weak to get a back bone n force him into sorting his self out, he's even been to prison as the drugs made him literally loopy and he started abusing my mum, and now he's smoking again! Makes me so angry!

"he's even been to prison as the drugs made him literally loopy"

and yet you do not think he has a genuine illness?

Cannabis use causes all types of MH issues. I know someone who has smoked all his life and he has memory loss.

This whole thread reminds me of the "obesity as a disability" thread.

Drug use is self inflicted and therefore not a genuine illness-except that is not borne out by medical research, is it?
But lets hate druggies anyway, lazy sods taking all our taxpayers money.

When logic fails bogeyface resorts to hyperbole. Shame U2 and bogeyface cannot raise their game a little bit.

He might have a genuine MH problem, but that doesn't excuse his behavior. I'm sick of MH being a "get out of jail free" card for bad behavior. Unless he has schizophrenia or in the throws of psychosis he is absolutely responsible for his actions.

Getting over depression is a lot like getting over a broken bone, you need to actually participate in your recovery or you won't get better. You don't just magically feel better, you have to work at it and practice good habits. So even if he is genuinely depressed or has bipolar he needs to be participating in his own recovery and that includes getting proper CBT and medication if he needs it.

Just because someone is an alcoholic doesn't mean you need to condone him drinking.

Nope Raltheraffe. He has no Illness at all. Since he was born all he has seen is Drink n Drugs, he is living the exact same life my dad is, Drugs, sitting at Home playing computer games, whilst pretending to be ill. My dad even sits with him playing games n smoking weed, my dad is claiming sickness benefits too, he isn't sick just lazy, never worked, I'm 32 and never known him to do a days wrk!

I've tried helping my brother, but he's not interested. I've got MH issues my self, I suffer PTSD after witnessing the death of my sister in a hit n run, so I totally understand such issues. My poor mum is depressed but still has to get up at 430am every morning to keep a roof over his lazy fuckin head. He needs a kick up the arse, everyone tells my mum it but she's too soft. He'll b living the way he is till he's an old man, because that's all he knows, my dad hasn't been a good role model has he?

Getting over depression is a lot like getting over a broken bone, you need to actually participate in your recovery or you won't get better. You don't just magically feel better, you have to work at it and practice good habits. So even if he is genuinely depressed or has bipolar he needs to be participating in his own recovery and that includes getting proper CBT and medication if he needs it.

That is a vast oversimplification of some incredibly complex conditions. If depression, particularly in the throws of a depressive state in bipolar, were so simple then there would be absolutely no problem. I agree with you that you have to self-manage but it is far from being the cure all you are stating it is. Even accessing the care in the first place is an enormous hurdle and so, so far away from your analogy of a broken bone. We are not 'broken' and medical models of treatment fall far short of the mark.

Bipolar and some forms of depression are lifelong chronic conditions which can, even with treatment, get worse over time and are continually morphing into one different ever changing scenario after another. All we can do is try to learn to work around. If you have the support available which many people don't.

OP I would advise you again to post on the mental health forum. There is far too much misinformation on this thread and you will speak to others who are going through what you are and can advise you more sensitively than on AIBU. I have no idea whether your brother needs medical help or is simply bone idle (certainly regular weed consumption isn't useful in either case) but I hope you find a happy outcome.

Sounds like mild depression - which the weed will aggravate. If he was bipolar there would be massive mood swings up and down, risk taking behaviour, manic episodes where he is feeling irritable, talking a lot, racing thoughts, over confidence, increased activity ie doing a lot, not needing any sleep, difficulty concentrating and lack of personal care. Other symptoms are psychosis : when you see or believe things that are not there.

I thought JSA refer sickness claims to a second opinion appt with a Dr at ATOS really quickly now to weed out the false claims? other symptoms such as psychosis which is when you see or believe things that are not there or real.(unless you are practically nearly dead they seem to declare even the severely ill 'fit for work'.) I think it led to a third of sickness claimants signing off sickness and back onto dole......

JSA doesn't refer anyone anywhere. JSA stands for JobSeeker's Allowance, and people not well enough to work aren't eligible to claim it.

They can apply for ESA (the new incarnation of Incapacity Benefit, with the odd name of Employment and Support Allowance and hence initials easily confused with JSA).

There's no reason to imagine that most people refused ESA were making false claims: the thresholds for IB and ESA were hugely different, to the point that some people refused ESA (too well) were also refused JSA (too sick). Contribution-based ESA is also deemed to "run out" after 12 months for people moderately sick, so they may be moved off ESA on grounds of their partner's income, despite being medically eligible for it.

We are not 'broken' and medical models of treatment fall far short of the mark.

I don't mean broken as in permanently damaged like it was a character flaw. But you can't possibly say people with bipolar are functioning properly. It destroys lives. Let's not be disingenuous and slap a "special snowflake" sticker on it for the sake of feeling warm and fuzzy. People with bipolar are not normal. They're not. Or they wouldn't need medication to stabilize their moods and keep them from bouncing off the walls during a manic episode.

I am not NT but I wouldn't be so silly as to say I'm normal and simply have a different way of functioning. It's a bit too twee for my tastes. I have to work around it and find compensation techniques to make up for my deficits because the world is not tailored to how my brain is wired. I may not always be successful at it, but I do try my best.

Also, not to be nit picky, but I've read a couple threads about it taking months for doctors to work on chronic physical illnesses. Your entire NHS system sounds like a nightmare, and it's not just limited to mental health. But that doesn't mean you can't give even a mentally ill person a kick in the ass to start the process and talk to the GP.

When logic fails bogeyface resorts to hyperbole. Shame U2 and bogey face cannot raise their game a little bit

What the actual fuck are you talking about?

Why do I need to raise my game? all throughout this thread I have talked about my family member, although not in great detail, to say that there are some people out there who are not mentally ill who claim they are for a variety of reasons. OP's brother may not be the same as my family member but there seems to be a few similarities from the limited information provided. You don't have to believe me though, but they do exist and I have lived with that person and their problems for years and years and been very involved with all the appointments etc and be there for the conclusion every psych has made.

But lets hate druggies anyway, lazy sods taking all our taxpayers money.

Now who is using hyperbole? That wasn't said was it or even implied? you are simply reading things the way you want so you can have a rant. And you tell me to raise my game?

As an aside.. my husband has bipolar (no, he isn't the family member I have been discussing) and his mania does not present itself in the way most people expect. He doesn't take part in risky behaviours or go out and spend loads of money, stay up all night doing things etc etc. His is more racing thoughts and intrusive visual images. He has very severe bipolar in the sense that they just can't control his depression no matter what meds and therapy they give him. They have managed the psychosis for a very long time now but the depression doesn't look like it is going to ease up anytime soon and the mania could be better. So bipolar may not present itself in the way people expect it to.

When logic fails bogeyface resorts to hyperbole. Shame U2 and bogey face cannot raise their game a little bit
:o

Morning!

Are you upping your game today, Bogey?

Consider my game officially UPPED :o

Usually it takes a long time to get a MH diagnosis as the patient needs a long period of assessments and observations, a lot of MH conditions are alike and similar symptoms can present in various illnesses. These conditions can mimic each other in many ways and it can take a while to gather enough information to actually diagnose.

That is the main reason for the time delay in obtaining a diagnosis, also, MHPs do not wish to stigmatise a patient with a label so that can be another reason they can be loathe to officially diagnose, whilst they will treat symptoms as best they can, as they arise during this period of assessment.