Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to not want to live here anymore

32 replies

Blackout234 · 29/12/2014 15:42

i just spoke to a friend i hadnt seen in a while and was told that the house I live in now (have done for 6 weeks) was once a crime scene. A young girl between the ages of 18-25 (dont wanna give too much away) was murdered here while 7months pregnant.
AIBU to not want to live here anymore?:( We're considering moving anyway but now i really dont want to live here.

OP posts:
VitalStollenFix · 29/12/2014 15:45

how sad. Poor woman.

Of course it's a very individual thing and if you were already considering moving after only 6 weeks, then perhaps the house just doesn't feel right for you anyway.

Why were you wanting to move before you learned this?

Original poster
Blackout234 · 29/12/2014 15:52

Better job prospects (whole different story) a few towns over, We're considering going there if dp can get a job there (He is applying). however this has made it so much worse. I looked up the name my friend gave and it all checks out. Theres a protest on fb too to have the house destroyed because of what happened

OP posts:
VitalStollenFix · 29/12/2014 15:53

why? are people hanging around it?

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 29/12/2014 16:03

A friend of mine was murdered at home whilst pregnant but it was a flat. Unfortunately they cannot destroy every home where someone is killed.

I also had a friend who sold her family home where very very tragically one of her DC had died by suicide. She was very angry that the estate agents told her people were put off by this, (rightly she thought it was very insensitive) and she felt people were being self centred by being disturbed by a death which did not actually affect them in terms of bereavement.

Why do you feel disturbed, can you explain why exactly it bothers you?

Trills · 29/12/2014 16:06

YABU.

A "protest on Facebook to have the house destroyed"?

What bollocks.

Sometimes bad things happen.

Sometimes they happen in buildings.

The buildings are rarely at fault, and are not "tainted" by the bad things that happened in them.

angelohsodelight · 29/12/2014 16:23

Doesn't that sort of thing have to be declared when you buy a house?

expatinscotland · 29/12/2014 16:26

The dead can't hurt you, it's the living you need to fear. YABU.

expatinscotland · 29/12/2014 16:27

And no, this type of thing does not have to be declared.

Trills · 29/12/2014 16:28

Why would "that sort of thing" need to be declared?

Most houses over 100 yrs old will probably have had someone die in them one way or another.

blanklook · 29/12/2014 16:31

Is it rented, in which case it will be easier to move on.

Before you knew, were you okay with living there. If you were, then now that you do know, logically why should it affect how you feel about living there.

How do you know that a similar scenario didn't happen in e.g. the 2nd hand car you drive, in the bus or train seat you sit in, in the shop you visit, right where you sit at work, your favourite table in your local pub...
Any buildings or modes of transport older than a few hours could have had a murder committed in them.

Original poster
Blackout234 · 29/12/2014 16:34

No, and we didnt buy its rented. I don't fear ghosts lol. I know the dead cannot harm me, Only demons can do anything to harm you and I doubt this poor young girl is a demon!
I don't quite know what bothers me, I hate the thought of the fact I could be walking where her blood and body once was and our baby (I'm 17weeks) could end up in the room that was supposed to belong to her baby. I don't exactly know why and i probably sound very ridiculous. I don't think the building should be destroyed however I don't want to live here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackout234 · 29/12/2014 16:37

I was 50/50 living here, I'm not in love with the area, I don't love the house itself, it has a bad mould problem. I thought it'd do for a few months at least, however its cheap and was our only option after being turfed out by fil, another long story.

OP posts:
Trills · 29/12/2014 16:37

So you're happy for other people to live there, just not you?

You're happy for other people's babies to sleep in the room meant for her baby, but not your baby?

Can you see how this is totally unreasonable and illogical?

expatinscotland · 29/12/2014 16:37

Unless your LL permits it, you need to honour the terms of your tenancy, so, about 4 more months. You can speak to your LL or letting agent.

Viviennemary · 29/12/2014 16:37

That's really sad. But if you don't want to live there it's quite understandable. But if you're not afraid of ghosts that's something. A lot of us don't know the history of the house we live in especially if it's an older house. Why not get a local priest or vicar to come and bless the house.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 29/12/2014 16:38

Why did the 'friend' tell you?

If U found out that about someone's home I'd keep my gob shut in case it did upset them.

I work in buildings where numerous people have died. It's not a big deal.

flumpysocks · 29/12/2014 16:38

Someone was murdered in the house we live in. Didn't know when we bought it, but doesn't make the slightest difference to how we feel living here - we didn't know them, it didn't affect us at all, why should it matter?

A friend who "cleanses" houses happened to be round here for coffee one day and offered to do our house (my son never slept and we were discussing what weird & wonderful reasons there might be for that!), but in that particular room she said she only came across an old Victorian lady, no disturbed spirits of murdered young men.

Original poster
Blackout234 · 29/12/2014 16:41

I don't know why the friend told me, It seems quite a c---tish thing to do tbh.
Our LL is a friend of a friend and agreed to let us move when need be despite the tenancy agreement as he knows the situation with dp's work.
I'm happy for others to make an informed choice to live here yes.

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 29/12/2014 16:41

Move then love, it sounds like you wanted to anyway.

I get why it would creep you out, for no 'logical' reason, another person may not care in the slightest.

You're not happy, so start taking steps to move.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

expatinscotland · 29/12/2014 16:43

Then move.

MissHJ · 29/12/2014 16:45

I think YABU. I mean if you look into the history of most buildings you are bound to have someone who died in that building. It's sad but there is no reason why the house can't be lived in. A house I lived in as a child, had the woman who lived there before us commit suicide on the stairs
but we just put it to the back of our minds and I suggest you try and do the same instead of thinking about it

Original poster
Blackout234 · 29/12/2014 16:47

theres a difference between dying and being murdered IMO.

OP posts:
spinduchess · 29/12/2014 16:49

Move if you want.

Murders bring house prices down, so someone who isn't bothered might get a bargain.

People die everywhere. Can't stop living, is my opinion.

expatinscotland · 29/12/2014 17:01

Dead is dead.

Vivacia · 29/12/2014 17:07

You believe in demons?