To ask what the etiquette is when you can hear your neighbours shagging loudly through the walls?

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

We live in a semi-detached house with very naice neighbours in a quiet street

They moved in about a year ago and we've had various drinks etc with them, take in parcels, get on well etc. However, we have a slight problem in that we have recently started to hear them shagging loudly through the wall.

On average, I would say that we hear them about three times a week. Only the wife and not just a little bit of noise but a LOT won't go into details for obvious reasons

It all probably seems quite funny but it's actually not, really. I am probably being incredibly precious but my 11 month old's room also shares the adjoining wall and we can hear noises in her bedroom - although not as badly as in ours - and I would really prefer for her not to be party to all of this. . In our room, we have to have the TV (yes, we are chavs) turned up to about 50 to try and drown it out, which is nearly deafening.

How do we approach this? Can we? The neighbours always appear a bit prim so the whole thing is potentially mortifying.

Sorry I got distracted in Classics looking for it

Here you go

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1393118-I-CANNOT-listen-to-next-door-having-sex-any-longer

It could be worse. My neighbours over the road have vertical blinds in their bedroom that they seem to think render them invisible even when theyre open. Im really tempted to post an anonymous note through their door asking them to keep them shut until AFTER they've got dressed/sat on the bed naked applying body lotion to their lower leg/bend over with backs to the window to put undies on. Things I really wish I could unsee

When dh and I first lived together, we used to have sex quite a few times a week, and we lived in an old semi with adjoining bedroom walls. We never heard anything from the neighbours so assumed they couldn't hear us. Then after about 3-4 months, we heard them having sex - we were so mortified! We were careful to be much quieter after that (and we moved, obviously).

Ohhhhh OP I feel your pain. You poor thing. That thread in classics which is bog all to do with me honest is worth a read just for coco's story of chucking her boot at the ceiling.

They probably know you can hear them. Our neighbours can hear us and I don't much care.

I wrote my upstairs neighbours an extremely snippy note asking them to be quieter in the mornings when they were shagging. They moved shortly afterwards. Next guy also had a very vocal girlfriend so I gave up after that and moved myself!

I had a neighbour like this!!
I moved!

12days - have you ever considered that your neighbours are timid exhibitionists? I used to have a colleague who had living room exhibitionists opposite the T junction at the bottom of her street. She had lost count of the times she and her neighbours had been presented with a show whilst waiting for a gap in the traffic to get out of their street.

We had noisy shaggers next door when we lived in a rented house 15 years ago. We were often woken by her screaming, sometimes at 3am. We occasionally had dinner with them. We frequently mentioned how thin the walls were: "we can hear every word when P puts one of his albums on. Lucky he has such good taste in music, ha ha ha" All to no avail. We started to suspect they enjoyed having an audience. Eventually they moved - hurrah!

Send a ball gag for a late Christmas present. Put marvin Gaye on and turn it up really loud. Or mulans I'll make a man out of you song. Time them and post rosettes through the letter box for new records.

This reminds me - last summer was away at the seaside staying with a friend. Was woken up by a couple having very loud sex - a bit surprised as all the neighbours are elderly and the flats are really quiet. After over an hour of increasing noise, I opened the curtain (5.30am!!) to see..... a young couple having noisy naked sex on the communal lawn! Both stark naked!
Woke up friend who went out and shouted at them.... They gathered up their clothes, climbed over the wall and wandered off.

Our neighbours can hear us and I don't much care

Aren't you considerate

I've heard the neighbours a few times... it tends to give me ideas . I have no idea whether they can hear me, but to be honest, I don't entirely understand why it bothers people, since it doesn't bother me. Is there something corrupting about a child hearing sex noises? I dunno... I'd rather my kids heard normal natural sex noises than swearing or racist songs (two things they sometimes hear in the street outside my home, unfortunately).

Ah, let em have their fun!

I'd rather we didn't hear anything through the walls, TBH. It's being considerate of others - just the same as people shouting and screaming or having music on too loudly. I mostly don't want the baby hearing as (a) I wouldn't shag loudly with her in the room and (b) I don't want her woken up!

Some good suggestions here - I pRticularly like the ball gag! X

Slip a note through the door requesting at least four different positions and pop corn in the interval?

I live in a Victorian semi too; NDN bedroom shares a party wall with mine, I can hear them at it, and they found like a pair of rutting warthogs. DD2 can hear their son and his GF, lots of fake noises, really loud.

She sings Disney songs really loudly to them. The other night they got "Let it Gooooo" at the top of her voice for their, ummm finale.

I'd rather we couldn't hear in the first place, tbh. For a very solidly built building, the soundproofing is surprisingly crap.

You have some very good ideas op! I like the wifi ones, or just let your dp tell them when they have their next filling ?? clearly there are some very considerate people around.

Change your wifi SSID (broadcast name) to something like "WeCanHearYouShagging".

What are we supposed to do Iggly? Stop having sex? We are not overly noisy, we've got 4 DC we don't want to disturb.
We bought a house that is attached to two other houses and accept the general noise that goes with that.
I can hear my neighbours using their microwave, often. I don't expect them to throw it away or stop using it because I can hear it.

When they stop shout "no don 't stop I'm nearly there" :)

Small note under the door. They really wont be aware of it and will probably die of embarrassment and never mention it again.

Ask them to be a bit louder cause it's really difficult to masturbate when holding a glass against the wall, that should shut them up.

I had that with neighbours at my old house. After banging the wall didn't work, I finally discovered that shouting 'harder' followed by a round of applause done the trick

It was more your not giving a fuck attitude!

I'm wondering if my previous next door neighbours have moved next to you.

They used to have some right old sessions! We'd gone up to bed early one night and heard this repetative squeaking and we're both curious as to what it was. When the moaning and gasping started we soon cotton on. My god she could moan!

Used to make me laugh. They must have known they could be heard as they complained to the neighbours the other side to them that they could hear their tap running!