Mumsnet Talk

I might cry.

I posted about this a while ago. They're newly in love and have loud, explicit and long bouts of sex. They were at it 3am-5am, woke both of the children. DD was falling asleep in her shreddies at 7.30am when they started round 2 and she's gone to school tired and asking inappropriate questions. I've JUST got ds to sleep (20 weeks old) and they're slapping up against the wall screaming and shouting again.

It's not funny. I tried to find it lightly amusing at first but it's horrid. Really unpleasant to listen to and I'm having to walk round with ds in his pram to get him to sleep most mornings- and to give me a break- as they're at it morning, noon and night.

She said to me yesterday over the fence 'I expected to be disturbed by your ds when he was born but we haven't heard a peep out of him yet'. No. Your wailing and screaming blots out birdsong ffs.

Can I say something? It's seriously affecting our sleep. How on earth do I approach it? Or do I just leave it? I don't want to fall out with her, she's a pleasant enough woman. But I could draw her naked from the opining her bloke does. That audio commentary for the blind you can accidentally activate on your freeview box? It's like that.

Take a recording of it one night and play it back to her with an explanation that it's waking the kids. Not cool....

Say something FFS! You're on speaking terms with her and you don't need to fall out with her, but she might well be mortified to learn that you can hear absolutely everything (and I would tell her that you can hear EVERYTHING - it might shame her into being quieter - unless she's a total exhibitionist). She's waking you and your kids up and that's not okay.

Oh god soh, that sounds bloody awful. You need to tell her. Maybe write a letter if it's too hard to say to her face.

We speak only when hanging out the washing at the same time or if we've taken in a parcel for each other. I just don't know what to say. I'm exceedingly shy around most people and not sure how you start the conversation about how I can hear every little minute detail of their prolonged mating sessions. Because really I would need to be specific. Some noise, fine. She might assume I can only hear the odd creak or moan and am being awkward. How do I tell her it's like I'm in the sodding bed with her?

Just say something.

Personally though, I'd have to move because I don't think I could bring myself to have that conversation with a neighbour!

A could write a letter. Is that a bit passive aggressive though? I really don't want to fall out with her.

What BrownB said.

"I don't want to sound indelicate but you need to tone down your love-life. You're making far too much noise and keeping everyone awake at all hours. I really don't want to know that you have <quote something memorable about her body>"

Delivered with a very straight face, the only person who's going to feel awkward after that is her.

I don't think it's pa. In fact I'd rather get a letter than be told. Just write that you're sending a letter as it's not something you feel comfortable saying and that you don't want to offend her but....

But WHAT do I say? I'll blush and stammer and I just want to be clear.

"Please could you try to not have loud sex at 3am next to the children's room as the walls are very thin indeed and they can hear everything".

How on earth do I say that out loud?

Oh Lord, when you've told her all about it can you come here and do the same with my upstaors naighbour?! Thanks. She is one noisy Mare, and sometimes we think she is ALL ON HER OWN, yucksville (just at the volume).

Not that I have sex morning noon and night

Cogito, I'm going to rehearse that.

They've just started again. She's actually screaming.

Then knock on the door now while it's actually happening and tell them to pipe down..... Carpe diem

A letter would probably be a bit pa. could you knock round (preferably mid session!) and say "this is a bit embarassing but you kept us all awake last night between 3 and 5 am, and my daughter wanted to know what the noises were. and now I'm trying to get the baby back to sleep but it's too noisy again."
I should think she'll know what the issue is from that? And hopefully be mortified.

If that doesn't work then a letter / recording next.

She must know though. Surely you would know?

Not PA at all, say or write just that,you really don't want to fall out with her, it's a delicate subject, but did she realise how thin the walls are & you can hear EVERYTHING from their bedroom?

No need to be explicit, but emphasise the everything, if you look embarrassed then that's even better really! As jeanau says she might well be mortified & shut up!

Awkward for you. I sympathise!

If you go down the letter route start with "This is rather embarrassing so I've written rather than spoken to you to make it easier..."

I have a theory that those making the most noise are the ones who have something to prove to themselves. She might be having a really crap sex life How on earth can she believe that no-one can hear her screaming!

Call the police, tell them that you think she's being murdered?

Put a porn film on very very loudly. When she comments say "gosh, I didn't think. But, as I can hear you all the time I should've realised. How ditzy of me."

She'll soon stop

but if, after this, she mentions swinging you'll have to move

"Carpe diem"

Just be careful what you are carpe-ing if her DP answers the door.

Actually, yes DOG is prob right about the letter.
Also cogito said it better. Ignore me

But do go round while they're at it. Right now.
Don't they have jobs to go to?!

Haha yes call the police tell them You can hear lots of screaming

I would write as well - or get your DH to do it.

Of course she knows she is making that much noise, she is probably doing it on purpose so everyone knows that she is having such wonderful sex . How tiresome.