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AIBU?

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Original poster

To talk in quiet zone

128 replies

Bluegill · 28/12/2014 19:41

In first class rail travel? I'm playing hang man with my son, quietly on our journey home and he's just whispered to me that the woman sitting opposite him has mouthed to him to shut up! I like the quiet zone and its my view it's only no phones and no unnecessary noise, not no conversation at all. I've told my son we're not playing now but he's understandably disappointed. I won't say anything to the woman but think it's unnecessary to be quite so rude or am IBU?

OP posts:
UptheChimney · 29/12/2014 09:47

Goodness have read some of the uptight replies up thread I have no intention of particularly bothering to keep quiet next time I find myself randomly allocated quiet zone tickets (without asking for them)

That's bloody rude. Some of us actually have work to do on our train travels. We book into the Quiet Coach deliberately, and expect our preferences to be respected by other passengers. If you find you've been inadvertently booked into the Quiet Coach it's easy enough to ask the Train manager to move your reservation.

I really do not understand the utter judginess of people who moan about those of us who like to travel in quiet. I'm not intruding on anyone: I'm just getting on with my job. It's little enough to ask that the Quiet Coach be just that: quiet. But apparently that is offensive, and I'm the "uptight" rude one, if I ask people not to use their mobile phone or sing loudly (and yes, that's happened to me). I've been physically threatened and abused when asking people if they could keep the noise down or take their phone call to the next carriage.

I just don't get it. They're the rude ones, not me.

So, those of you who are up in arms about how dare anyone stop you from doing whatever you want, tell me, what is so objectionable about the Quiet Coach that some of you feel you need to make a noise Just to show us how objectionable the Quiet Coach is?

A frustrated frequent long-distance train traveller asks.

BringMeTea · 29/12/2014 10:49

I always book the quiet coach. Rules on the lines I use are no loud 'walkmans', no mobiles and keep talking to a minimum. That is why I book that coach. Of course that does not preclude conversation but I keep it low. A child playing hang man would probably be louder than expected. A man behind me was playing his ipod loudly and I asked the steward to ask him to turn it down (as it was in the quiet coach). She did but made sure she told him I had complained. He turned it down with apologies. A pleasant man. Got the impression she thought I was unreasonable.

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 10:55

If you find you've been inadvertently booked into the Quiet Coach it's easy enough to ask the Train manager to move your reservation

Not so. If all other seats are booked then train companies will book people into the quiet (note: not silent) zone. If you read the T&Cs you will notice it makes that clear, and it's not 'easy' to move your reservation in a packed train.

RussAbbotofUnreason · 29/12/2014 11:18

Quiet conversation is fine, the quiet zone generally relates to the use of electronic equipment.

That said, the op's perception of 'quiet conversation' may differ from someone else who is not used to living with a small child. The frequency of a child's voice tends to grate on me somewhat (but unless the child is yelling its head off, that's my problem and not the parents BU)

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 11:28

The OP's child is 12, so not a small child

specialsubject · 29/12/2014 11:36

the quiet coach is a jabber free zone. Which part of 'quiet' don't you understand?

sorry if you couldn't get seats elsewhere, but you'll just have to put up with behaving appropriately for a couple of hours. Your child is 12 and can sit and read a book.

I always book the quiet coach - I travel off-peak but it is noticeable that it is much emptier than all the others because no-one can stop bloody jabbering for two hours.

RussAbbotofUnreason · 29/12/2014 11:39

Apologies did see the child's age. Then I am more tempted to think he doesn't need 'entertaining' in the same way a 5 or 6 year old might for a long journey - a book, mp3 on low volume with noise cancelling headphone, tablet with sound turned off etc - so am edging towards YABU.

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 12:02

No - the quiet zone is not a 'jabber free' zone. It's a zone where conversation should not be loud and where mobile devices (with the sound turned on) are not allowed. The OP has already explained they were talking quietly - which is allowed- as opposed to jabbering.

Russ - the OP has explained that the 12 year old was playing on the hands free game thing with the sound turned off for most of the journey, and they played one quiet game of hangman.

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 12:03

talking quietly during their one game of hangman

AyMamita · 29/12/2014 12:08

YABU - quiet means quiet!

RussAbbotofUnreason · 29/12/2014 12:08

Well obviously not quiet enough for some of her fellow travellers! As I said up-thread, quiet isn't an absolute concept, so without witnessing the game in full flow it is impossible to say.

But games that have the potential to get noisy/competitive might be best avoided in future.

RussAbbotofUnreason · 29/12/2014 12:11

That's said the woman was a dick in way she went about dealing with the issue. If she'd come over and said 'look I'm really sorry, but I'm trying to work/sleep' and your game is disturbing me, could you keep the noise down a bit please?' She might have got a better hearing.

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 12:18

Not enough for one of her fellow travellers.

The OP has already said that she was quiet (which is all that is required in the quiet-not-silent zone), and hangman doesn't tend to be the noisiest of games, let's face it.

RussAbbotofUnreason · 29/12/2014 12:26

'Quiet' is a bit of a moveable feast though isn't it?

Quiet for a a normal carriage? Quiet enough for the quiet carriage? quiet for her child who is normally very loud, quiet by her family's standards (I've been to houses where normal conversations are conducted at yelling volume) and probably don't think they are being loud or obnoxious.

The game itself is largely silent, but the reactions of the players can be very noisy if the game is competitive then yes it can get noisy. Without being there it is impossible to say if the child was being 'too loud' or not.

CuriouSir · 29/12/2014 12:29

You are being unreasonable

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 12:31

I think all we can do is trust the OP when she said that she was quiet during one game of hangman with her 12 year old on a silent phone - apparently you each get a turn to take a word just using the keypad on the phone. It really doesn't sound as if it was anything approaching noisy - certainly one woman mouthing 'shut up' was noted, which I would imagine it wouldn't have been if they had been playing a raucous game of hangman on a phone.

I agree that it's a moveable feast, but if you are in a quiet coach then you have to accept that there will be some quiet conversation.

helenenemo · 29/12/2014 12:48

YANBU! Of course you can talk in the quiet zone.. It means no mobiles or music you can hear over headphones not STFU!

muminhants · 29/12/2014 16:45

I have a weekly commute on South West Trains who have a quiet carriage. You can't reserve seats on (many of) their services. They usually operate two types of train on my route - either four coach units or five, so you have anything from 4, 5, 8, 10 and 12 carriages to choose from. Each unit has a quiet carriage so you get between 1 and 3 quiet carriages on a train depending how long it is.

I usually travel on a 5 carriage train in the mornings which has a quiet coach in the middle. Which means that there are 4 (3.5 as half a carriage is for first class but that's not a quiet zone) in which you can sit if you want to use your mobile phone/have a loud conversation/play loud music etc. I don't think it's unreasonable to sit somewhere else on the train if you want to do any of those things and the quiet carriage fills up first (other than the very front carriage).

On the commuter services, people do tend to be quiet in the quiet carriages - you get the odd person who thinks the world will stop turning if they can't have their mega-important telephone call telling someone THEY ARE ON THE TRAIN but not many. Less so in the evenings, and you can forget it at the weekends. But I really hope SWT don't do away with them as I really value the peace and quiet.

MauriceTheCat · 29/12/2014 18:54

I spend at least 3hrs a weekday in FGW quiet carriage. It's blissfully the same message every time.

No mobile phones and put them on silent. No personal music devices. No unnecessary noise and keep conversion to a minimum.

Very easy to understand

fatherpeeweestairmaster · 29/12/2014 19:08

I would pay an extra £15 to sit in the Totally Silent Zone. I often have work I need to do on the train, and it's a relief to get 3 hours' peace and quiet to do it in. The fact that someone's walked the entire length of the platform made a conscious decision to sit in the Quiet Carriage rather than any of other available seats* does suggest that they are hoping for a significantly less noisy environment in there, and for me, that includes audible conversations. Why not just move one carriage along and chat as much as you like, without fear of cats' bum mouths?

  • disclaimer: when there are other empty seats available
BerniceBroadside · 29/12/2014 19:14

It would help if when making reservations online the train companies didn't book families onto the quiet coach. There is no way to prevent this from happening. And frequently there aren't any alternative seats available.

Sincere apologies to anyone who has had to share a quiet coach with dc. I do my best, but short of borrowing some parcel tape from the guard I can't prevent some noise escaping.

chrome100 · 29/12/2014 19:30

I hate sitting in the quiet carriage. Not because I want to make a noise (quite often I travel alone) but because it is generally comprised of the most miserable fuckers who enjoy complaining about the smallest thing.

I actually quite like eavesdropping on people's phone conversations, it makes the journey go by.

UptheChimney · 29/12/2014 23:51

There are quite a few miserable fuckers on this thread then, simply saying we like to travel in peace and quiet. Why the resentment and rudeness about that, chrome? There are usually at least 5 times as many seats in carriages not designated Quiet Zones. You have plenty of choice. Those of us who seek out peace and quiet do so because that's what we prefer.

But then, we're miserable fuckers according to you. Who's not complaining. Oh no no no.

MidniteScribbler · 30/12/2014 00:25

Based on the OPs reactions on this thread, I'd hazard a guess that they were probably not being as quiet as she claims to be.

SirChenjin · 30/12/2014 08:03

I'd hazard a guess that they were. One game of hangman on a silent phone - all seems perfectly in keeping with the quiet-not-silent carriage guidelines.

On the other hand, I'd hazard a guess that the woman was one of the miserable fuckers that chrome describes who hadn't quite grasped the fact that booking a seat in the first class quiet carriage didn't mean everyone was going to be completely silent just to suit her.

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