in thinking I did something good!

[MogOnTheRoof]

And this person is a twat!

Wrnt to do my Xmas shop and was very sad for personal reasons. Got to till and was served by a very lovely, chatty lady who was very excited to finish work in 15 mins for xmas. Talked about her 2 young children and my children.

So after paying DH was waiting for the taxi and I nipped back into the supermarket and bought a card and put £20 in it. I wrote Merry Christmas inside.

I went and gave it to her and left before she opened it.

Now I didn't tell DH because he wouldn't understand and we barely had any money left ourselves over xmas (we are on benefits at the moment)

Yesterday I told someone what I did because we were talking about the reason I was sad that day (I did it to cheer myself up!)

And their response was ...

'OMG why would you do that? You probably embarressed her. Plus cashiers aren't allowed cash on the shop floor so you probably got her in deep trouble! You should have bought her a £1 box of chocolates"

I didn't k ow what to say, felt very stupid and regretted telling her.

:(

But i stand by thinking it was nice and I hope the lady thought the same :(

You made a kind, spontaneous gesture at Christmas time. If you stopped to think about it, you might have realised it was a wee bit daft. But no harm done.

I think that this sums it up. As some receiving such a gift I'd be embarrassed and perhaps offended, so I think that a card would have been more appropriate, at a push a box of chocolates.

Haphazard you don't know the OP and you are bring irresponsible and stupid to try to diagnose her with a serious mental health condition.

Yesterday I thought I heard my DD talking tome but actually she was silent in another room.

Care to suggest I have a psychosis?

Any one or two bits of behaviour can be interpreted a million different ways when taken out of context.

If the OP had started a thread about multiple incidents you might be onto something. But she didn't.

I'm not diagnosing. I wouldn't dream of it.

I said that spending money theatrically is one sign of MH issues. The OP reacted badly to this and I clarified.

But if I was married to someone who was doing this sort of thing I would be concerned.

Saying 'it can indicate mental health problems such as bipolar' is not the same as 'you have bipolar'

The OP gave her reason. She was sad, someone brightened her day, she wanted to "pay it forward".

Which is not 'normal' behaviour IMHO and I find it most bizarre.

The OP could just be quirky as indeed some people are.

I think it was a sweet thing to do. Have a happy new year, OP.

our local taxi company wasn't charging extra on christmas eve, not during the day anyway and we got a cab home from the station after visiting parents. worth remembering that if op doesn't drive she's not spending money on upkeep of a car etc which many people would be, so one taxi in this context would hardly be that big a deal.

I do maintain that giving money to a stranger would be embarrassing for the recipiant and I personally wouldn't. but throwing around terms such as bipolar and insane are uncalled for.

I'm in the 'op is insane' camp.

I work for a home care agency and we do a lot or good for people - just the same, chocolates and wine is about as far as people's gratitude generally goes at Christmas. Weird.

I think it's within the bounds of normal behaviour given the context. Maybe not 'everyday' behaviour but hey, it's Christmas time!

It's behaviour that could have a number of possibilities, one of which is a mh problem, one of which is bipolar!

That's not 'oh you have bipolar!' I'm trying to point out, I suppose, how ODD it is!

What sheltered lives people live. "In in OP is insane camp" that statement in itself is insane! You'd swear she gave her naked pics or something. She handed her a few quid, big bloody deal.

DP got a taxi to his mams house and back for drink we had left there, on Christmas Eve no less! Stick us in the "frivolous alcoholic camp" while you're at it

I think we could argue this point all day.

The OP is clearly feeling vulnerable at the moment and I find it sad that people here are enjoying themselves by labelling her behaviour as weird or insane. Where is your compassion? You can tell her that she is being unreasonable without being so judgemental.

I'm not enjoying myself at all. I think it's extremely bizarre/eccentric/flamboyant behaviour and I think IF it is true it is possibly indicative of other needs or issues.

As someone has said, even those in health care or doing other jobs where gratitude might be understood (we once sent flowers to our AA man!) haven't come across this before. DH is a doctor and the nurses on the wars regularly get flowers, chocolates and cakes but NOT random £20 notes!

Wards :) although wars is white apr peobably.

I would find it weird if she gave the cashier her firstborn. Or the deeds to her house. But not a £20 note.

But people aren't stopping at saying they agree with friend and she's BU. They are extending the comments to suggestions of MH problems and even insults of insanity.

Personally i don't think OP is BU. Those people that have ever found themselves in that feeling where one person says or does something to make a difference you'll understand why she did it.

It isn't an insult to state that some behaviour can indicate MH problems, any more than saying some things can indicate a physical problem or issue!

Perhaps I am sensitive towards it as MH problems run in my family - but if (say) in 10 years time DS came bounding in saying hed randomly handed over £20, it would be one of the first things to spring into my mind.

Mental health problems are just that - health problems. They aren't insults and shouldn't be used or taken as such.

Haphazard you have done quite a nasty turn around given your recent threads where you came on here and got a lot of sympathy. Shame on you.
Yes it may be a bit odd what the op has done, but implying she has mh issues is just disgusting. Take a look at yourself.

Excuse me??

The OP asked if she was being unreasonable and yes, I think she was most unreasonable.

My other threads (all 2 of them!) have nothing to do with this!

Christ on a bike, some of the responses here!

OP it was a sweet gesture you did on the spur of the moment because you were overwhelmed with sadness and grief and the cashier cheered you up for a brief moment. I dunno, I'd consider that worth £20 to me. Now if you were doing it every week, perhaps there'd be reason to worry, but it seems like an of-the-moment-Christmas-spirit kinda thing. I'm sure the world won't stop turning.

The armchair medics on here are worse than Dr Google

OP this is exactly the sort of thing I do.
I bet you made that cashiers Christmas.
Please don't doubt yourself, it was a lovely thing to do.
The world needs more people like you in it

Wtf is everyone having a go at the op?

It was a lovely gesture, ignore the comments on here