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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My children haven't been wowed at all today :(

108 replies

Jaffacakesareyummy · 25/12/2014 21:55

I think I got it totally wrong, youngest 4, really hasn't been sure what they wanted when asked for months, and today again hasn't seemed at all impressed with anything.

Eldest 7 has been miffed all day that Santa forgot 1 impossible gift yet dispite some lovely gifts has appeared in search if something else all day.

I'm totally annoyed, feel like they are either ungrateful, or I am a total failure and don't know my kids well enough. :(

OP posts:
Littlefish · 25/12/2014 21:57

I think it's important to help children realise before Christmas that they may not get exactly what they have asked for, or want.

We always say to dd that if she makes a list, Father Christmas, and other members of the family will look at it, and use it to give them some ideas about the sort of thing she likes.

Littlefish · 25/12/2014 21:58

Sorry - posted to soon...

it should have said...

We always say to dd that if she makes a list, Father Christmas, and other members of the family will look at it, and use it to give them some ideas about the sort of thing she likes but they may not buy exactly the thing on the list.

Original poster
Jaffacakesareyummy · 25/12/2014 22:11

I agree, I perhaps should have explained that to then both, my youngest was really hard to but for this year too. My eldest does need to be more grateful though Xmas Confused

OP posts:
poocatcherchampion · 25/12/2014 22:13

Expectations way too high. Its just a day.

JavelinArse · 25/12/2014 22:16

It is important to tell children they might not get everything they ask for.

I also talk to my children a lot about how lucky they are to have any presents at all!! This year I made a point of getting my.children to choose a toy each for us to buy and donate to a local charity, I used that as a way to talk about children less fortunate than themselves.

I have seen so many threads on here today about children being ungrateful and unappreciative of the gifts they have received, I don't think as parents we should just accept that sort of response.

You are not a failure, children are hard bloody work! I think it's worth starting to talk to your children about the importance of appreciating that it's the thought that counts when it comes to gifts and that they are much more fortunate than many children.

CassieBearRawr · 25/12/2014 22:18

Your kids need a gentle chat about being gracious when receiving gifts, even if they are from santa. You're not a failure, I bet your gifts were lovely. Don't beat yourself up.

wonderingsoul · 25/12/2014 22:22

Tell them straight.

Theve hurt your feelings. It's not ok to act ungrateful like that and they need to know. How else are they going to learn

26Point2Miles · 25/12/2014 22:25

Wow there's a lot of this on mumsnet today! I'm quite shocked tbh. For last couple of years Ive scaled down xmas and play it down in the run up. Interesting that my dc who live at home have been really happy with what they got.... And dd home from uni was underwhelmed. And a bit stroppy.

saintlyjimjams · 25/12/2014 22:25

I tell them we have to give father xmas money for presents which allows me to just say when something is too expensive & tell them they won't be getting it.

minipie · 25/12/2014 22:30

This thread has made me think back... I don't think my parents ever asked me what I wanted for Christmas, until I was 10/11 or so.

Mydelilah · 25/12/2014 22:33

We have a look through a few catalogues (Argos etc) in November and they make a list. From this I get a good idea what they really want. I then spend the next 6 weeks reminding them they wont get everything from the list.... it's worked well this year for DD and DS (6 and 4). Its true the 4 yo doesnt have much concept of what he reaaly wants, I just followed the dino/super hero themes

StilleNachtCarolling · 25/12/2014 22:33

I get my kids quite a lot for Christmas but I never go overboard on actual cost, if you know what I mean? For example, this year, my girls got a new drinks bottle each as one of their presents, and all three got a character themed fleece blanket each. I always try and make sure to get at least one, if not two, item(s) on their Christmas lists. They also receive a gift that they know is from us. Anything else they get is just an added bonus, which they do seem to appreciate.

I think a lot of kids these days get given way too much stuff, not just at Christmas and birthdays, but just generally. It DOES lead to spoilt children and spoilt children DON'T appreciate their gifts properly. I liken it to a drug or alcohol addiction - the more you have, the more you need to get a 'high'.

haphazardbystarlight · 25/12/2014 22:39

This is one reason I don't do 'Santa' - Mumsnet can despair at the children being denied the 'magic" all it wants, but magic can do the impossible. Parents can't!

Floralnomad · 25/12/2014 22:40

I disagree , my DC are 21 & 15 and generally have always had what they wanted for Christmas plus some surprises , and I have never had any of the 'brattish' behaviour that people are describing on here today . We have never done FC , presents have always been from us so maybe that's where the difference is .

notagainffffffffs · 25/12/2014 22:43

Dd was wowed today ,( only 3)but SIL (Teenager) barely said thankyou at all to anyone who had gotten her gifts. I think people have come.to expect so so much and it cant always happen

PaleoRules · 25/12/2014 22:43

Haphazard, it's possible to do Santa and not raise brattish kids! We do. Managing expectations is the key - and having very stern words about gratitude. My boys would be in such deep shit if they behaved like this it would be the last time they did it!

LadyLuck10 · 25/12/2014 22:44

Diddums to them. Seriously? Your kids need a lesson in appreciation.

haphazardbystarlight · 25/12/2014 22:45

I didn't say it wasn't Xmas Grin

However, being asked for things that we simply can't accommodate at Christmas is one reason I've never gone down the FC route with the children. It isn't the only reason but it's one of them.

As a child I wouldn't have dreamed of behaving like a brat but genuinely couldn't understand why FC wouldn't bring me a pony and I got really upset about it for a couple of years.

TooHasty · 25/12/2014 22:48

Christmas is so over-hyped these days, it is nearly certain not to be a 'wow' day!
Did they get something they liked? Did they have a pleasant day?

26Point2Miles · 25/12/2014 22:48

We don't do the NORAD thing. And last nights insistence that the ISS was santas sleigh was a bit off imo. It's a satellite! Too much, just too much.... Kids don't need all this adult 'magic' rubbish

CocobearSqueeze · 25/12/2014 22:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 25/12/2014 22:50

Santa brings a small gift, wrapped in different wrapping paper in which a friend writes the label. This keeps in line with the Santa visit in school and store santa.

This year dd had a pony and Ds a trap.

furcoatbigknickers · 25/12/2014 22:51

Its horrible when dvs react like that. My 10 year old wasn't overly wowed. Well tough we did our best and she got loads of presents including an ipad mini off pil. Next year may well play the whole thing down and buy less.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 25/12/2014 22:51

I dont really ask my DC what they want. I buy most of my DCs Christmas presents in the summer sales... and spend the next 6 months working those things into conversations about how fab they will be and how much they will enjoy them and should ask Santa for them - Its not failed yet! Grin
I make sure I can get another one or two each close to Xmas that they may suddenly really want, but if its an unrealistic/unreasonable item I tell them that Santa wont be able to get everything and then go back to bigging up the things I have bought so they want that more!

That said - if my dc had been bratty about anything received/not received I would be talking to them about appreciation and being grateful tbh!!

JavelinArse · 25/12/2014 22:52

I don't think it's anything to do with doing santa or not, last year he brought my children an electric toothbrush and a skateboard each! Not what they really wanted but they were grateful all the same!

It's is 100% our responsibility as parents to teach our kids the importance of being grateful.