My children haven't been wowed at all today :(

[Jaffacakesareyummy]

I think I got it totally wrong, youngest 4, really hasn't been sure what they wanted when asked for months, and today again hasn't seemed at all impressed with anything.

Eldest 7 has been miffed all day that Santa forgot 1 impossible gift yet dispite some lovely gifts has appeared in search if something else all day.

I'm totally annoyed, feel like they are either ungrateful, or I am a total failure and don't know my kids well enough. :(

Tell them straight. They have upset you and shown lack of gratitude and respect.

Some years ago my middle daughter got a real dressing down for ingratitude on Christmas morning.

She was sent to her room for about the next half hour or for as long as it tol,,

Ooh agree with vulgar fb posts - pics of presents piled high stating "all this for one dc - she's so lucky" clearly my dc are deprived but they had a fab day and seem very happy so ill stick with my way.

agree with Topseyt.

I don't tolerate ingratitude in any way. Today my 6yr old DS had time out on the stairs until he could behave gratefully

Grrr. That should have read *as long as it took.

She has never done it since.

Oh I lost track of Dd rambling on....Burberry/radley/Insert posh selfridges handbag.... I remember the year she wanted one of those teacup pigs! We smiled and laughed when she kept mentioning it! She mistook our 'no way on earth' humour as some kind of conspiracy to keep quiet. She really did believe we had got her one. Her siblings are nothing like her, I have 5 dc and she's the only grabby one

My 3 year old has been in gobsmacked awe all day. She was equally awed by the satsumas in her stocking as by the play mobile present. Everything she got was "the best thing ever in the whole world".

She also spent so long playing with each thing that she didn't get done opening presents till bedtime.

She is still terrified of santa though....

Think maybe giving kids an Argos catalogue to look at is an unromantic thing to do. Makes christmas acquisitive.

Have never asked my kids what they want. Surprises only. They love and adore christmas and their gifts, every year.

They don't even know about Argos.

I think that it has a lot to do with parental expectation. They have been building it up since August on MN and want it all to be perfect and magical. It is bound to be disappointing, in many cases,with such high expectations. I also think that too many parcels spoil it- a good half are going to be opened, thrown aside and not looked at again. It is overload- of presents and expectations. The best part of Christmas for a child is the parents time.

I think if an older child can't at least act grateful for a present that there are concerns about his well they have been taught manners.
I have 5 from 30-3 and they were all extremely grateful for thier presents, the older ones all sent texts later thanking us again.
My 12 yr old dd had various clothes and make up and was delighted with even the smallest gift.
She asked for an I phone, her father got her a second hand 4s, she was ecstatic, jumping around the room despite lots of her friends having the latest models which weren't even christnas presents
If a child can't show appreciation for a gift then they need to be re taught some manners!

Mine make a list but they know only one/two presents are from Santa. The rest of from mum and dad which paid off this year as couldn't get a particular thing so explained this to my 6 year old and he as happy enough. BUT they don't get everything off the list of 10 items they may only get a max of 4 depending on cost

Dd is 7 and got everything on her list,she only asked for four small things, and she got lots of surprises. My brother probably spent more on her than us.
My face book feed is plastered with mountains of presents, dds pile is tiny in comparison. A few of us mums where chatting last week and average spend is £300- £400. Think we spent about £150. Not sure how these parents are going to top this every Christmas.
My brother gave dd a cheap tablet, she's the only one in the class without one, we got her a lovely guitar.
Her favourite present? A design your own clothes book from my autie that cost a couple of quid!
I know at dds school there is a lot of discussion about who has got what. We live in a deprived area,think the new Skint series, and there is some correlation between the less we have the more we must spend to be good parents. Agreed with the previous poster, dd would much rather have my time.

How times have changed! In the early fifties children would never have been permitted such behaviour. You didn't 'expect' anything much and when you opened your presents (very modest stuff just after the War) you were truly thrilled. If any child had grumbled or been underwhelmed, the presents would have been taken away immediately and the child sent to their room.
Also, thank you letters were written on Boxing Day to anyone who'd given a gift.
It sounds a bit Draconian, but children were much more polite and far more grateful than today.

Sound a wee bit ungrateful.

Children are exposed to so much consumerism from so many directions that is really hard to remain realistic. Sadly they may have unreasonably high expectations that they are disappointed and come,across as ungrateful.

TBH if my DS had said he didn't like any of his presents I would have taken them away. I also think if he's got grumpy or bratty during present opening I would have stopped it, at least for a long break. I certainly would not be feeling like I'd failed to buy him the right things!

On the other hand I had no expectation for him to be un-naturally wild with excitement. The pleased interest and looking carefully at each one/ playing with each thing over the course of the day was plenty.

Personally I think brattish behaviour should be stamped on REALLY hard. Being 'entitled' is actually quite debilitating for young adults IMO. Kids really need to learn that not everything goes their way and nobody will fix that for them. DH has two siblings in their 20s who think the world owes them a living and it makes things really difficult for them.

I think there is a happy medium to be achieved with the FB mountain of expensive gifts on one side and a few second hand gifts and a cardboard box mentality seen quite often on MN.

If I were the OP, I would just tell the offending child to stop being such a brat.

I think there is too much pressure to have an AMAZING Christmas aided by TV adverts, social media and the constant Sales. Most people have quite a nice day, get some nice presents, eat too much and then are quite glad it's all over...

I was starting to worry that the £95 ish I'd spent on each (including Santa stuff) wouldn't be enough due to the nonsense on TV and social media. My two were both wowed by the £30 Santa offerings. A couple of toys, books, bath stuff from Lush, chocs and £ shop bits. They were wowed by The Playmobil and Monster High stuff from us. DC are 7 and 4.

DD2 did throw a strop when the present opening finished as she wanted more. I think she had just worked herself up into a bit of a frenzy and it soon passed.

My DCs school has a very mixed catchment. Some kids will get stacks of stuff, some very little as parents are skint and some don't celebrate at all. Our family friends have a similar approach to us in terms of present giving so the DC don't have flashy friends to compete with. This really helps I think.

I never promise that Santa will bring enormous presents. Kids can mention things they like to give ideas but I always say they mustn't expect a particular thing. We visited Santa at the Eden Poject who tells the children a story and they played silly games with the elves. They don't get a present from there. I did them a message from the PNP and we tracked on NORAD. They love the story of Santa and get really excited about it. As long as there is something to open they are happy.

I do realise this may all change as they get older.

I think it's the lifestyle the other days of the year that are to blame tbf.

My dc don't have anything all year bar Xmas presents and bday presents.They have £1 a week,pocket money so if they want anything they have to save.

Grandparents spend £30 per child.They have a fab stocking and we wouldn't go over £100(for something really desired that would get a lot of use). They know they can't have everything they'd like and actually don't need it(that's life).

They'd have to have bday and Xmas combined or all Xmas money pooled if they really wanted something pricier.They send thankyou letters and have had it drilled into them that any gift is a gift that involved effort and which they are lucky to receive.

Consequently all are always thrilled with what they receive.

A bike,scooter and guitar is waaaaay too much.Ny DS had a bike(all money pooled) for his bday,v little else.

Said techy 11 year old had a scooter for Xmas from both grandparents combined.We gave him a box of official loom bands and box to put them in.He was beyond thrilled.He couldn't give a stuff what his friends had.

DD insists on making a list but is aware that its to give Santa relatives ideas and is not a list of commands. I rarely get anything on her list because most of her presents are bought in advance and the expensive tat (I'm talking about you Lego Friendz) she asks for is rarely played with afterwords.

It's a bit much to expect children to fully appreciate the if we don't temper the expectation with reality.

In September DD starts making room donating unused or outgrown gifts to charity and in December we buy something new to donate to a toy bank.

on her list because but she never got anything on her list

I've been lucky with my 6yo. She seemed happy with all her gifts even though she didn't get everything on her list. She started her list in October and we've been having regular chats about how we can't afford everything, how much things cost, how many families have very little so we all need to be grateful for whatever we have. She seems to understand all this, thankfully.

Some kids sound like they are becoming like Roald Dahl characters (and I don't mean Matilda either). How awful!

My kids were expected to say thank you whether they liked a present or not. It's only a day out of the year and I'd expect good behaviour or else the threat of presents going to someone who'd appreciate them.

Just to offer a different perspective, I don't think your DC are necessarily spoilt, OP. They're only 4 and 7 - that's young! At that age kids are very unpredictable and I've often found it impossible to predict in advance whether a gift will thrill them or leave them cold. It's a bit of a lottery and not necessarily at all related to how much the gifts cost in monetary terms.

My 3-year-old DS threw some of his presents aside in a huff, shouting 'I don't want that!' Then played with them later in the day with great enthusiasm.

Reminding them to be grateful is a good thing, certainly, but young DC don't always behave like the DC in telly ads.

Yes focusing on others who have nothing really helps with helping kids to be appreciative imvho.

My dc have several friends who live in massseeeeve houses with gorgeous huge gardens etc.They have mused on how tiny ours is and how they'd like us to buy a similar house next time.

We've talked about the millions of kids in war zones,living in poverty(shown pictures) and talked about how lucky they are(some of the luckiest kids in the world actually)in comparison.

Sounds very Little Women and I'm sure many would like to give me a virtual slap but it really does work.

Mar sorry that isn't what 3 year olds generally do,it really isn't.

I find myself repeating my dear old mum to my DDs - "just remember that nobody HAS to buy you anything, so be grateful that they've thought of you".