My children haven't been wowed at all today :(

[Jaffacakesareyummy]

I think I got it totally wrong, youngest 4, really hasn't been sure what they wanted when asked for months, and today again hasn't seemed at all impressed with anything.

Eldest 7 has been miffed all day that Santa forgot 1 impossible gift yet dispite some lovely gifts has appeared in search if something else all day.

I'm totally annoyed, feel like they are either ungrateful, or I am a total failure and don't know my kids well enough. :(

4 and 7 year olds model their behaviour on what they've seen. They don't come out of the womb with this attitude. I blame the Disney Channel.

Like PPs, my dc have always been told that I pay for the presents, whilst FC brings them. Also we have never done 'lists', so dcs are not expecting anything in particular

My dcs are all about the party, having people over, food and the pomp and ceremony. I'm nit attempting a boast; they are very social and I know that's what they like so I ham that side of it up. What are your dcs like in general OP? Maybe other aspects of Xmas need exagerating and downplay presents?

I did role play with my DC when they were little. What would you say if you were given the best present ever? and What would you say if you were given a dissapointing present? I used to give a little talk before big events such as birthday parties, awards ceremonies or Xmas. Its a bit twee parenting but it worked for them. I didn't do it all the time

My DCs are adults now and my parents have always given them £100 for Xmas (until 21) and my MIL has occasionally given them £10 and they are equally grateful for both....as they should be.

I'm not sure I agree with the idea that children must 'act grateful' at Xmas

I agree children have to learn to accept gifts graciously when older etc But I don't expect expressions of gratitude for the wrapped up pants and socks packs for example. I don't want faked emotions on Xmas day

I do.

An aged aunt who has spent her pension deserves gratitude the same as everybody else.

A gift is a gift.It is something somebody has thought about and spent time and effort on.Who said gifts have to and only should be what the recipient wants and demands?

DD and DS are expected to show gratitude for everything. Although, DS is only one and can't talk yet, I really think it is something that can't be taught too early.
And, luckily DD was in awe of everything yesterday as she really only expected one present

I think this issue sits with the parents, not the children. Look how many are saying they feel under pressure when seeing pics on FB of what others got - why??? Why should it matter to you what others do? It seems to me its parents getting sucked in with peer pressure, not kids. I saw a horrible FB status on xmas eve saying someone was laughing at the fb pics of 'huge piles of presents for spoilt brats' etc - nasty!! Everyone should just concentrate on their own life and not worry about others. My ds didn't get all on his list, dd did as there was only one small thing on it (she is 10, he is 6) but they were over the moon with what they got. That is all that matters to me, not what others are doing.

I'm not sure I agree with the idea that children must 'act grateful' at Xmas confused
It is called good manners!

Yeah, I'm happy with my children's manners. They would certainly be grateful to others for any and all gifts. I don't expect a show of gratitude for everything I give them. But its academic really as my kids have been happy and expressive. Dd2s favourite present was her mango. So, I don't actually know how I would feel if they were sullen or rude

I agree

An elderly relative had a shit year this year(cancer) and got all the presents muddled up.The dtwins had 2 each,dd only one which was a pair of black men's gloves.Said relative rang up and anxiously asked if the kids liked their presents.Dd9(who believe me is no angel in other ways) was a star and enthused beyond all doubt re the softness,warmth etc.On opening after our explanation she chuckled and empathised re the shit time she'd had,no strops.

That is what I want her to be like,thinking of the feelings of others and their thought.I'd have frankly been mortified if she'd gave handled it any other way.

Don't make it so much about the stuff! - the world has gone crazy this way since I was little - when we used to be very happy with our one pressie in stocking from Santa
Yes, we have opened stockings and some littlle pressies from each other - just as many really from the DC to us, and to each other, as from us to them - They've been amazing at organising things this year, right from putting the tree and decs up a few weeks ago.
But then we also had a nice lunch together, went for a Christmas afternoon walk in nearby woods, and DC played cards in evening, whilst I enjoyed some Christmas telly, and catching up with friends and family on FB plus a quick peek on here
As others have said it's just a day, it can't hold all this expectation. At the very least with children try to enjoy the season and holiday as a whole - I like the thought of the 12 days of Christmas (even if I too do feel a bit weary today - Boxing day is surely for recovery!)

I think, same as everything for children that it's a balancing act. It's fine for them to get excited and want to tear around finding what they have but equally they have to appreciate and enjoy what they have. Those that "don't do Santa" may as well go live with the Grinch but while Santa is magical he had to try and help parents sirt presents for every child that wants them.

What angers me is parents that have told thier darling child at the age of 4 or 5 that Santa is a fantasy. This has lead to them going to school and declaring to the entire class and even acting "all grown up" about not believing.

It happens.. A couple of years ago dss didn't want to bother opening his presents because they were 'only' clothes (that he had chosen, trendy stuff he didn't need but wanted yet cost us a bomb) - he was 13 then.

Mar sorry that isn't what 3 year olds generally do,it really isn't.

Ooh, just what I needed, a nice bit of condescension and smugness on Boxing Day.

That's ironic coming from someone who is arguing in favour of good manners.

I happen to think my 3-year-old is lovely and pretty damn developmentally normal for his age. But you're quite welcome to your tidy little world view where over-excited preschoolers who have got out of bed several hours early don't throw strops.

marfisa fwiw I totally agree with your earlier post. Kids are kids. We all want our kids to have good manners, appreciate what they have blah de blah. At 3 years old of course they don't always behave graciously!
We hail from rural Africa and I can assume you that children who aren't privileged also aren't always grateful and gracious!

Mine threw strops but being utterly rude and ungrateful over a gift which including shouting and throwing sorry they didn't and neither did my nephews.

Being 3 doesn't excuse it,it isn't average 3 year old behaviour imvho.Plenty of 3 year olds don't throw gifts to one side shouting "I don't want that".You can excuse it all you like but I think it's just awful.Sorry.

I honestly don't know when Christmas became a competition - who loves their kids the most by showering them with the greatest number of expensive presents compared to everyone else (you score extra points if you managed to get the "impossible-because-all-the-shops-ran-out-of-it" present!)
To create the "perfect Christmas" with the perfect food, presented on new dinner service (tastefully Christmas themed) with matching charger plates, new cutlery, matching napkins (in napkin rings of course) to the table linen, cooridnated to the perfect tree, decorations, wrapping paper (and matching bows, ribbons, tags etc.), perfect gifts from each DC to their relatives too, whilst looking totally glamourous in something effortless stylish (yet in reality impractible) and manicured/pedicured. Don't forget all the delicious hand made baked treats and goodies for all to enjoy (a large array, with a vegetarian version, gluten free version and dairy free version too, because you are of course the perfect host) and a wonderfully clean house, featuring kitchen packed with every food imaginable in unlimited quantities.
Stuff it. Stuff it all.
That's NOT Christmas!!

lepet your kids may have been great Xmas day? Are they never less than perfect on any day? 3 year olds do not know that they are expected to be perfect on this one particular day, especially.

And yy to mrsdv and cakeladys posts

There are numerous threads from adults moaning about their presents!!!

As the mother of four lovely young adults I have learnt that your DC can always suprise you. . I think it's totally normal for DC to have the odd ridiculous tantrum or outbreak of bratty'ness.

Mine were and are fantastic kids but I would never be stupid enough to say they were immune to the type of behaviour the PP's 3 years displayed.

It happens and it happens when you are least expecting it. i wonder if those parents with perfect 3 year olds feel a bit redundant.

I can where some of the kids get this from though. And yes, a bit of a tantrum here and there is entirely normal behaviour.

I've seen plenty of ingratitude in threads on here written by and about grown adults so it's little wonder than some kids behave like this too.

CandO - it's my choice to bring my children up in the way I think is best.

Every parent does 'Santa' differently; it doesn't destroy the story, and some don't do it at all.

My son had one present from is before Christmas and one stocking. Then DH brought a dog home (!) but you know - Christmas just isn't that big a deal here.

I didn't get dd anything evil mummy as she's only 8 months. Didn't celebrate ds's birthday until he was about 4 either.

Different strokes different folks etc ... (By the way good post from MrsDeVere)

I think any kid can and will have outbreaks of brattish behaviour. However, I think the difference is in the parental response.

If brattish behaviour is used as a teaching opportunity to make sure they don't grow up thinking it's fine to behave like that then it's actually quite useful.

If it has parents feeling terrible because they didn't manage to buy their kids the right/ enough presents and excusing their behaviour, or hiding in the kitchen feeling hurt by their child, then I think it is pretty worrying.