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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I cancelled on my friend and she won't talk to me now

121 replies

tobytoes · 25/12/2014 21:36

Basically I had arranged to meet my friend this evening so our children, both 2, could swap presents. It was only going to be for an hour before they go to bed so I thought, no big deal if I cancelled. I'm at my parents house for Christmas day and we are all having such a great time we've deceided to stay the night. So I text her, no reply, again and again no reply, I know she's been using her phone so she is ignoring me. Is this such a big deal? I can't imagine being upset if I were in her shoes but hey maybe I am being unreasonable. What do you think?

OP posts:

MissHJ · 25/12/2014 23:08

You were rude. You cancelled at the last minute and didn't even have the decency to call her, you just sent a text. I can't stand it when people do that, I find it really rude and think if you make plans you should try to stick to them not cancel because something better has come up. You owe her an apology.

Sn00p4d · 25/12/2014 23:10

What's annoying me is being referred to by proxy as over sensitive and ridiculous and whatever else for responding to your original post, which puts you in a very bad light. You knew at the time of posting originally that you saw her yesterday and that she wasn't alone today so that was an important omission on your part and is your "fault".
Clearly the apology and her subsequent acceptance of it wasn't what I was referring to, I wasn't suggesting you had a crystal ball.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 25/12/2014 23:17

Tbh it now just sounds like someone likes to create a bit of drama where there is none.

PossumPoo · 25/12/2014 23:49

These threads crack me up. Ffs people, drip feeding is only an offence on MN and really shouldn't be. It would teach people to RTFT for a start.

OP glad your friend is as laid back as you and all is well.

WhereIsMySantaHat · 25/12/2014 23:53

Yanbu in my opinion.

mwalimu · 26/12/2014 00:02

I don't class what you did as cancelling 'last minute' OP..In the circumstances you describe, I wouldn't be cross. If I had a bad day and was looking forward to seeing you, I might feel disappointed, but I wouldn't be holding any grudges. People on this thread are barking mad imo

DancingDinosaur · 26/12/2014 00:17

Crikey. I wouldn't be that bothered personally if you'd cancelled because you wanted to stay over with your family. No big deal surely

CaoNiMa · 26/12/2014 00:46

OP, I'm not sure why you posted in AIBU when you didn't believe for a moment that YWBU.

YABU.

Coyoacan · 26/12/2014 04:25

Yes, cancellations happen. I've done it and had it done to me, but it can be a bummer when you have stayed in especially, etc. So it should not be done without good reason, IMHO.

Inboxer · 26/12/2014 04:50

Maybe she's having such a good time she can't be bothered to answer you!!!

MokunMokun · 26/12/2014 04:56

I was thinking that. I have quite a few emails to send but have been busy and can't be bothered. I've popped onto FB briefly a few times. Just relaxing between the chaos. I'll catch up later on my computer when the kids are in bed.

BathshebaDarkstone · 26/12/2014 05:13

YABU, but I think some of the reactions on here are over the top. Can you ring and suggest another day?

winkywinkola · 26/12/2014 05:31

So you just don't cancel like that. You just don't.

What can you do to make it better? I would apologise. A lot.

I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't interested though because of your rudeness. I wouldn't be making any arrangements with you.

Timetoask · 26/12/2014 05:50

To be honest you were both mad to organise this for Christmas Day

IndiansInTheLobby · 26/12/2014 06:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 26/12/2014 06:46

I think, if you'd been the only person she would have seen all day apart from her DD, then it would have been a bad thing to do.
But as it turns out, no, it wasn't that bad. You still should have PHONED her though, rather than texting her, and THEN you would have been able to clear all this up and not needed to start a thread about it

DixieNormas · 26/12/2014 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Missedcall974 · 26/12/2014 12:52

I don't think you were being unreasonable. Things crop up all the time, but then again I have the type of friends who cancel on each other all the time. No big deal IMHO :) It wouldn't bother me.

DancingDinosaur · 26/12/2014 19:51

Even if I spent the day on my own and someone cancelled dropping some presents off, I still wouldn't be raging. Its just a day, thats all.

Original poster

tobytoes · 26/12/2014 19:56

Thanks for all the replies. Just to update . We rearranged for this evening so I rushed home and got everything ready....then she text and cancelled, she's ill. Haha. I guess I deserved that one. But I can honestly say I'm not bothered by this and we have rearranged again for tomorrow morning.

OP posts:

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/12/2014 21:27

YABU. It's horrible when you get let down, op. I mean if it were an emergency then no argument that would be entirely different but to just cancel because you're having a good time then I don't blame her for being peeved, put the boot on the other foot. Don't deny that you would
Be peeved. Morally you don't just let people down for no reason.

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