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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset at being filmed taking pastry out of the freezer - AIBU?

49 replies

FaFoutis · 24/12/2014 14:53

Our freezer is in the garage. Last night I went in there to get some pastry out for making mince pies today. When I came in my DH was on his computer watching a film of me getting the pastry out.
Without my knowing he had installed a camera in the garage.

I was furious and felt very unsettled, did I over-react? Would it upset you too?

(We haven't been burgled in this house and we have a good relationship, no conflict at all usually. DH's explanation was that it was for when we go on holiday - we have no holidays planned.)

OP posts:
ProcrastinaRemNunc · 24/12/2014 14:56

YANBU. Why on earth didn't he mention there was a camera there?! I expect privacy within my home. Have you asked where else he's hidden them?

sooperdooper · 24/12/2014 14:57

Really odd to have put a camera in and not even mention it, weird

SuperMumTum · 24/12/2014 14:58

YANBU weird and creepy imo.

DoubleValiumLattePlease · 24/12/2014 14:58

Oh. I thought this was going to be because you're considered a fabulous cook who bakes from scratch and someone was going to blackmail you with film of you holding ready-made puff pastry.

I'll get my coat.

GraysAnalogy · 24/12/2014 15:00

Same double

drbonnieblossman · 24/12/2014 15:03

Is the camera directed only at your garage, or are other peoples' homes visible too?

gamerchick · 24/12/2014 15:04

I would be wondering where else he's installed a secret camera if I hadn't been told about that one.

Man I would be mad.

PhaedraIsMyName · 24/12/2014 15:04

Weird and creepy. I find it very odd that he would do this without discussing it with you.

PhaedraIsMyName · 24/12/2014 15:05

Oh and like Double I thought it was going to be a shop bought pastry scandal.

FaFoutis · 24/12/2014 15:06

The camera was pointed at the freezer & I suppose the garage door, no other houses visible from there.

I'm no good at cooking and not ashamed of it! Ready-made most things in my house. Sorry, pastry was a red-herring in the OP.

I'm pleased you don't think I'm being weird about this. I have privacy issues from childhood and wondered.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 24/12/2014 15:07

Hmm. How I would feel about that would depend I think. If he put the camera up yesterday, this was the only time he filmed you without your knowledge, and he immediately showed you what he had done, then that's one thing, I'd think he had just misjudged how annoying it would be to be filmed.

If he put the camera in a month ago, has filmed repeatedly and you only found out about it by accident because you saw him on the computer, that would be very different.

Hobbes8 · 24/12/2014 15:10

Someone hid a camera on my desk at work once as a prank. He used to pull pranks all the time and they were pretty funny, but I found this really weird and unsettling.

SuperMumTum · 24/12/2014 15:11

I would expect my DP to mention installing cameras in our home even if it was just in passing. Realistically it would definitely be something we decided on together. V odd behaviour.

WhirlyTwirlySnowflakes · 24/12/2014 15:13

I would expect a discussion about that to be honest.

Just pop a bin bag over the camera, after all it's just for holidays...

fluffyraggies · 24/12/2014 15:14

I wouldn't mind about being filmed doing mundane stuff (not in the bedroom/bathroom) but i'd be very surprised to find DH had installed cameras without mentioning it. We share all our thoughts and ideas, so for us that would be odd and out of character.

PhaedraIsMyName · 24/12/2014 15:17

Re pastry I've never seen the point of going to the effort of home-made. It's one of the few things where commercial is as good as or better.

Re the camera I'm really struggling to imagine anyone thinking about, buying and installing it without mentioning it once. It must have been put in when you were out of the house.

fluffyraggies · 24/12/2014 15:18

Hang on.
What's in the garage that needs protecting by CCTV specifically? Confused

And how is filming in the garage going to prevent a burglary anyway? ConfusedConfused

CatCushion · 24/12/2014 15:21

When we were burgled DH suggested we should get such cameras in garage and around the house and I flatly refused. If he'd gone ahead without telling me when Id been very clear that I didn't want this, I would be beyond angry. That's a really bad thing to do. In fact, isn't it illegal to record people without them knowing about it?

carabos · 24/12/2014 15:22

doublevalium I'm right there with you .

CaptainAnkles · 24/12/2014 15:25

I think most people would feel very unsettled about being spied upon. Isn't voyeurism a criminal offence? Pretty sure planting cameras around the house and not telling the other residents is illegal.

mrsminiverscharlady · 24/12/2014 15:27

It depends on the type of pastry. Filo is way too much hassle to make; home made puff is better but still too much hassle most of the time; shortcrust otoh is much better home made IMHO.

Re the camera, does your dh have form for this kind of thing op?

Gruntfuttock · 24/12/2014 15:31

Your DH's behaviour makes no sense, OP. Why was the camera recording when you're both home and why would he want to watch what it had recorded, ie. whatever was happening in the garage when you were at home? Confused

SuperMumTum · 24/12/2014 15:32

Agree with mrsmini regarding homemade vs shop bought. Homemade shortcrust is also v easy.

FaFoutis · 24/12/2014 16:05

Nothing ever happens in the garage, it makes no sense to me either.

I made him show me the camera (very small) and I watched him put it in its box to send back to Amazon. I will be checking that he has. But it still bothers me.

I'm glad I'm not a lunatic. He looked at me like I was when I objected.

OP posts:
Ubik1 · 24/12/2014 16:08

LTB