To think that some women have an awful time on the postnatal ward

[elliejjtiny]

This isn't a slag off the midwives thread. In my case the midwives were perfectly lovely and kind, just very overworked.

My 2 experiences on the postnatal ward with DS4 (now 18m) and DS5 (now 6m) were horrible. I had caesareans both times and both babies were in NICU, although DS5 came and joined me on the ward for the last 3 days. Once my catheter was out I had to make my own breakfast, fetch other meals and drinks from the ward kitchen, take expressed milk down what felt like endless corridors to NICU every 4 hours and sterilize all the bottles, pump bits etc. I didn't have DH with me as he was looking after the DC's or any visitors who stayed more than 5 minutes. I could have really done with some tlc in my vulnerable and hormonal state. And some decent painkillers. I wasn't allowed morphine after the catheter came out because it made me wobbly, just paracetamol and ibubrofen. I take more than that for period pains.

But when I talk about it I get told that it didn't happen or that I'm being negative or exaggerating. It makes me feel like I'm going mad. So come and tell me your awful postnatal ward stories so that I know I'm not alone.

Just wanted to say that threads like these must make depressing reading for anybody working as a midwife.

My community MW with first and second babies were unbelievably good and the MWs who delivered them brilliant. The ones I met in clinic were professional and kind. ( Ones with third DC were a more of a mixed bag as we'd change area)

It was just ones on postnatal ward were appalling.

I think we have come so far along the road that giving birth should be natural and it's not an illness blah blah blah that we have forgotten that actually giving birth is a huge fucking massive deal and just because it's natural and normal doesn't change the fact that it can be traumatising that it is always life changing and women need very gentle supportive handling and massive amounts of support.

Post birth a bit of princess treatment is needed in my view and lots of it!

Perhaps all the rubbishy incompetents are sent to staff the post natal ward because they can't be trusted to do the actual technical stuff. They'd be better off employing actual nurses who are used to fragile, post-op, wounded people.

If I have to be glued to my dds sides they are not going to be treated like shit by anyone during labour or post.

hidden yes exactly fragile post op people and just post birth.

I am a qualified nurse and this litany of hurt is appalling. Just appalling.

It's not lack of staff it's lack of staff empathy, kindness, basic humanity that really hurts people.

I definitely noticed a change in the staff who came in the weekend. More burnt out, older, different style of practice and far less patient centred - broadly speaking of course.

I have no doubt that my experience on the ward led to PND.

OP I haven't read the whole thread but OP you have my sympathy. I also received minimal care post ECS from rude, uncaring and nasty staff (in the main)

One example, when my mom came to visit me, 8 hours after DD1 was born she found me still lying on the blood and gunge covered paper sheet I had given birth on, covered in blood. Nobody had been near me to wash me even. The nurses were too busy gossiping at the station outside my room about their weekend. My mom read them the riot act and they reluctantly (and rather roughy) washed me. I regularly waited 20-30 minutes to have a buzzer answered when I couldn't move. It was horrible. I hated it and it really took the shine off what should have been the happiest time of my life

I had a rubbish experience on the pn ward, and 8 years on, I still feel physically shaky when I think about it.

But things aren't reliably better on any other ward. I was left screaming (actual, animal screaming) and passing out from the pain after surgery as there was no one to do controlled drugs, and without anyone checking why I was in intractable severe pain. Which has left me permanently impaired.

When I had my 2nd child seven years ago, I spent two days in hospital following the birth. I was not well enough to leave but lied to the staff so I could go home. As soon as we left the ward my husband fetched a wheel chair for me (staff said I couldn't leave unless I could walk).

Had own room but work men kept coming in to do repairs on the leaking sink. No chance of sleeping while they were coming in and out. Had no privacy whatsoever. There were other things too involving the staff which I was not happy with.

Upon getting home, I asked DH to take baby out with him to visit family. I could not bond with her. I spiralled into severe depression which took months to come out of.

pullthecracker it's so nice to hear a MW speak with kindness and compassion - that's what I needed so desperately, and didn't get. I think it was almost entirely agency mws on my postnatal ward - no one knew where stuff was, or what to do. I guess there's a gap to fill - and agency staff really don't help that much? A pp said they have to be supervised?

So, if more money/budget isn't the answer, what is? Pushing care back onto junior doctors? That sounds like a start, from what you said. Making midwifery accessible to those who aren't getting 3 As at A-Level? Why is it so hard to get on a midwifery course?

It must be so hard to be a good midwife these days, you're in a minority, and pulled in every direction.

Doris snap - same abattoir hospital. Commiserations.

Sadly I don't have anything positive to add.

I opted for one hospital over another [both equal distance] as it's where we had all our recurrent miscarriage tests etc and they were amazing. Also know several people who have had children at this hospital, so I'd had some feedback - granted no-one raved about it - but there were no massive complaint.

Went to the birthing centre initially [floor above labour] ward and all was perfect. After a few hours I was moved as I wasn't progressing and then I had the full shebang - drip, waters broken, Diamoprhine - managed a natural delivery but both myself and baby needed to stay in under observation for 24 hours due to long labour / delivery.

Was taken up to the ward about 3am, didn't realise until the next day that it was actually a pop up ward (IE a corridor that doubles as an extra "bay" when the need arises). There were no windows.

I was starved but no food was available - thank God for cereal bars, I ate 4 of them! Hadn't eaten for about 45+ hours by this point.

I did manage some sleep, didn't see a MW from when my labour MW's took me up until about 8am (quite a long time, considering we were under observation - although I could have dozed off and missed MW?). They did start regular Ob's from 8am though on both me and baby.

My issue wasn't any one thing it was a lot of small things. I had a sink and a bin right by my cubicle, when my curtains were closed the sink was actually inside the cubicle so I'd have ME's popping in and out washing their hands.

Bathrooms and toilets were grim. I appreciate it's a post natal ward but I could barely bring myself to go for a wee. There was no way I'd have shower there.

DS kept bringing up fluid, which I know is normal but when it first happened it scared the life out of me so I rang for assistance and no-one came. I took DS out in my arms and found someone.

As I say there were no windows ergo no natural daylight and lights were switched off at 7pm, my lamp didn't work.

I found the breast feeding woman really scary and pushy.

It took me best part of 6 hours to get discharged when they time came (we had red book from 9am, I was finally allowed to leave at 3pm)

Worst thing is that a few weeks later I developed a wart on my knee, which I am now still 2 years later having treatment on? I cannot 100%confirm I caught this in hospital but it that is the logical explanation?

Despite all of this I am due to have second child at same hospital in a few weeks time. My reasoning is that a) the other local hospital has awful reviews recently [both from people in RL and online] b) My hospital has much more positive reviews c) I feel a lot more confident in my own ability this time round d) I am hoping I won't be in as long e) my MIL is a nurse at this hospital f) I am now living much closer to this hospital than I was last

Also - and in the interests of fairness - I do have some really positive things to say about my experience last time. MW who has me in the birthing centre rang me on her day off to find out what we'd had / how the birth went (she rang the MW station and they patched her through), as we were still in when she came back on shift she came in early to see us. It was a lovely, personal and special touch and I was so sad she was unable to deliver my baby.

This MW is the main reason I am going back, her attention and care kind of overshadows all the other stuff (barring the fucking wart on my knee!!)

Can anyone explain why you have midwives instead of nurses on the post-natal wards, especially when so many women who stay on the wards for more than a few hours are recovering from surgery/trauma?

(apologies for my ignorance!)

I completely agree with boody, I suspect that the dominance of the 'birth is natural' philosophy can leave MWs with little sympathy for women even when they've had sections. It's ridiculous, I mean a section is major abdominal surgery, yet women are treated badly and expected to take care not only of themselves but of fragile newborns, all by themselves, all night, no help, for days.

I mean, my husband was in the hospital once for a hernia surgery, which isn't even as bad as a section and he wasn't in labour for days beforehand. But if I had shown up next to his bed, dropped off a newborn baby, told him to take care of it on his own and skedaddled, they would have had social services there on me.

Another with horrible experience. I had my last two at home because of it.

I'm saddened to read so many experiences like my own.
My daughter was born nearly 6 years ago and I still struggle with flash backs and become extremely emotional when remembering her birth.
I was induced and was in labour for 2 days.

The labour was dreadful. They attempted to break my waters and it was causing me unbelievable pain. I felt like I was being stabbed. It was a white hot pain. I told them they were hurting me and they told me I was being silly and that it didn't hurt and told my partner to hold me down so they could carry on.

They knew my history and that I'd been sexually abused as a child but didn't stop to think that holding me down and forcing their hand inside me whilst I was screaming no was extremely traumatic.

I was forced into stirrups whilst screaming no and an obstetrician tried turning my baby's head. People kept walking in and out of the room whilst this was happening. I didn't know who they were or why they were there. They were chatting and laughing amongst themselves and I thought they were laughing at me lying there with my legs held wide open by stirrups and facing the door way.

I told the obstetrician to leave me alone, she carried on so I pulled my legs out of the stirrups and was then told off by my irate midewife and told to stop being so stupid.

My daughter was finally delivered by emergency caesarean at 3am in the morning.

She was taken straight to SCBU as there was meconium in my waters and she was grunting and they thought she may have an infection.

I was taken to the ward and left on my own in a room covered in blood on a bloodied pad until 4pm when my Mum came to visit me with my son and was horrified at the state I was in.

Nobody had been in to let me know how my baby was or to give me any food.

I was wheeled down to see my baby with bloodied legs and a catheter dangling between them. No sheet was provided and everybody could see the state I was in.

That was the only time I was wheeled anywhere. The rest of the time I was expected to walk to and from the SCBU back to the ward constantly to feed and care for my baby.

I was left without pain relief, treated rudely and dismissively and am still in bits about everything that happened.

I will never have another child.

Jesus Christ, blueballoon, that is awful. You poor thing. I have seen many other threads here where sexual abuse victims were treated like this, I just can't imagine what is wrong with people. It really is like women are just completely dehumanized as soon as we become patients.

dreaming Good point. I had had stitches, pre-eclampsia, was on a drip, and was coming off medications and going onto others - all clearly a medical situation. But the only person who 'attended' me when I got into difficulty in the middle of the night was a snappy midwife who said I would gave to wait for "doctor's rounds" in ten hours' time.

When I was training, the only placement I was bullied on was the maternity placement. Some nurses are bad enough, but it seems midwives really surpass themselves when it comes to a lack of plain sympathy and humanity.

Perhaps women who need sections and instrumental deliveries are seen as failures or something. You only seem to receive care for a few hours afterwards, then you're expected to get on with it. Other major abdominal surgery isn't treated in this way, but that's on wards where nurses are present.

Jesus fucking Christ these pages make for such terrible reading!

I am truly sorry so many of you have been treated like this.

Why on earth are women who have had long and difficult births, tears, stitches, or a c section expected to be up and about caring for themselves and a new born?!?

What is the logic in that?

Is this why so many people opt for a home birth? Because you can rest with your DP or mum or someone looking after you?

No wonder my sister was so keen to get home after giving birth and haemorrhaging for her second and third child. Easier to rest at home in their bed with a clean en suit and her husband helping!

This has massively put me off having children.

What options are available? Is private care better?

Why are midwives staffing the wards and not nurses when so many women need medics care?

Perhaps as a profession, midwives would be better placed just to do deliveries and the more straightforward post natal care and people who've had sections, complicated or instrumental deliveries should be cared for by nurses. It sounds as though midwives aren't interested in nursing these post op women.

Quick google looks like it's about £10k for private care from 12 weeks to delivery, including a 24h stay and then about £1,200 for every additional night.

That's quite a lot of money but the stories here are so awful.

Yes, it's as though they don't know what to do with you afterwards

whois I had a hb with my second mainly to avoid postnatal ward. I wasnt even badly treated either judging by this thread

My last baby was the same. cs and on a ward with 4 other ladies and babies. Inevitably there was always one baby screaming. Got no sleep at all. However my first cs and second cs i had my own room which made a huge difference. Also dh was allowed to stay in the chair next to me. Having own room was brilliant for sleep and privacy after a c section.

You're not wrong.

My newborn son nearly choked on his own vomit as I was unable to help him (in immense pain, still paralysed from a cocked up c section that led to a GA and 3 hrs in recovery)...luckily a lady from another bed came and helped.

24 hours later we were both still in our vomit soaked bedsheets.

Never mind the tuts, total lack of assistance in general and the fact that I felt terrified for the whole 2 days I was there. Left in absolute agony crying my eyes out.

I am complaining. Too many women just accept this shit care. Lots more to my story, it really was the worst time of my life. :( at a time I should have been happy.