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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas jumper day moan

112 replies

LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 19:34

Sorry going to get my Scrooge half hour out of the way,have tried to sit on my hands but can't any longer.Feel free to flame.

So we had our belated letter from school proclaiming the last day as Xmas jumper charidee day.Not having a spare £30 to blow on chuck away clothing items that won't survive the washing machine my dc went without a cheap nylon child labour crafted master piece and survived however I do feel the need to grumble.

Many parents will feel pressurised to buy the above from a cut price outlet and I suspect some kids of those that don't will feel a tad awkward.

I'd rather send my £30 to the charity involved instead of Primark.

We're all a tad cash strapped as it is this time of year.

So aibu?

OP posts:
R4roger · 20/12/2014 10:12

but is it a good idea to take jumper making away from children in India? what would you have them do in India?

Original poster
LePetitMarseillais · 20/12/2014 10:14

Go to school.

OP posts:
R4roger · 20/12/2014 10:18
Original poster
LePetitMarseillais · 20/12/2014 10:20
Grin
OP posts:
TheMuppetsSingChristmas · 20/12/2014 10:28

Ellis I think I love you, can I have your babies?! I've been trying to verbalise everything you've just said for the past five years, ever since my boys started school. It's the blasé assumption that the stay at home mother is present in every home and that she will sacrifice enduring else that needs to happen in the home in order to jump to the school's tune. It enrages me beyond belief.

unlucky83 · 20/12/2014 10:32

We just got wear a christmas jumper or something christmassy for high school ...over uniform. A few days notice.
I hate christmas jumpers with a passion -just encouraging people to waste money/resources . But they have been pushed in the media to make everyone think they should have one...really really successful hype.
DD1 (12) desperately wanted one last year, my compromise was to buy ones that aren't too christmassy - so winter themed rather than Santa/Christmas puddings etc so they can get more wear out of them.
DD1 got one from new look last year with a penguin on it (£18! - but her birthday money). Rubbish quality and it shrunk in the wash (just standard 40 deg) - she wore it three times maybe, I felt ripped off.
DD2 (7) desperate to copy her big sister at every opportunity got a flufffy jumper with a star on it - (reduced in Tescos, can't remember how much but definitely less £10)
She has worn hers frequently - came out again this year -still fits just about. And then she tried on DD1's penguin one - a little big but not ridiculous. She chose to wear it to her school christmas party and got compliments (penguins are in this year apparently!) So at least not a complete waste.
This year I had already bought DD1 a jumper from primark (reduced to £10) with a cat on it (she loves cats) -vaguely like a christmas jumper and she is happy! Sure she will wear it again this winter - and she wore that to school as her Christmas jumper with a santa hat....
I wouldn't have bought her one just for school ...

Jingalingallnight · 20/12/2014 10:38

Got mine for £10 each in asda and tesco and to be fair, my dc have got their wear out of them this year.

I understand your point about the late notice and I get infuriated about that. However at my dc's concert, one class all had to wear Xmas jumpers and I couldn't help feeling for the one or two who didn't have one.

dalekanium · 20/12/2014 10:39

ellis awesome. Can I pay you to articulate my thoughts please?

School didn't do a CJD. Though our school are really sensitive to the needs of a working parent and usually give ooh, 2 days notice of this sort of shite.

Work had one. I sat at my desk and made a snowflake out of printer paper and sellotaped it to my jumper.

Totally agree with the waste of resource stuff.

GothMummy · 20/12/2014 11:24

Its really interesting that this thread has raised all the things I have been trying to articulate about cake sales and Christmas/Summer fairs. Huge amount of resources spent for very low returns.

SwedishEdith · 20/12/2014 11:36

Great thread. But what really annoys me about the CJ phenomenon is that CJs were never nice jumpers with cutesy Xmas scenes on anyway. They were the hideous jumpers with zigzag or abstract patterns that your granny or MIL bought that you had to wear under sufferance.

SwedishEdith · 20/12/2014 11:40

I'll throw in the "drudge" as the unit or counter of family resources. There must be a word that includes the nicer bits as well though.

unlucky83 · 20/12/2014 12:56

Goth I think that (And I'm involved with fundraisers) someone once did suggest we just asked parents for a £20-40 donation and then didn't fundraise that year -
But then some of them are community events -especially one group - we have events where the children have fun and we don't expect to raise much money (say £60) but it does allow parents to mix etc -they are good fun.
For one of the groups I'm involved with the fairs have raised a lot of money for the last few years by being more upmarket eg selling craft things made by parents/staff, hiring entertainers etc and no second hand bricabrac/old toys/books (as that would ruin the atmosphere -make it look like a jumble sale Hmm).
I have a couple of issues with this
We have applied for and received grants towards running costs as community events - compared to what we used to raise less the grants and running costs there isn't actually much difference. I do feel its a bit of a waste of money.
And this year I have been raising the issue of covering costs - so if someone makes eg some lovely candles, donates everything, doesn't claim expenses and it costs them £4 to make one - we should still be selling them for more than £4 otherwise the person may as well as made a cash donation (And we could have claimed gift aid on it). Same with homebaking, guess the weight of the cake etc. Also things like children's games - hook a duck etc - we don't expect to make much but it keeps the children entertained, keeps parents there - but what we charge should still cover the cost of the prize...
If I queried how much something costs I got told - oh its ok I'll donate that ...that's not the point!!!

wtffgs · 20/12/2014 13:43

I bought a Christmas tshirt. The work place is too hot and being somewhat be-norked, they do me no favours. The tshirt was a fiver and I will wear it in bed.

SoonToBeSix · 20/12/2014 13:48

But why didn't you buy the jumpers late November op? That way your dc would have had plenty of opportunities to wear them.
Also keep them and pass them on to younger dc.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse · 20/12/2014 13:58

Is that a serious post? Or in ironic spirit? Can't tell!

GothMummy · 20/12/2014 14:01

Its got to be ironic, surely!

YoullLikeItNotaLot · 20/12/2014 14:02

SoonToBeSix
But why didn't you buy the jumpers late November op? That way your dc would have had plenty of opportunities to wear them.
Also keep them and pass them on to younger DC

Well firstly the OP says the letter from school was sent belatedly indicating that she didn't know in November that the school would be doing this.

Secondly, the OP's whole point is that schools shouldn't be asking/telling/dictating to/pressuring parents what to buy. Buying something in November that the OP doesn't want to buy doesn't change that.

YoullLikeItNotaLot · 20/12/2014 14:03

Whoops sorry - didn't realise that post wasn't serious!

LL12 · 20/12/2014 14:06

I'm worried about what the next 'Thing' will be. I am more that happy to give to a charity that I support, but I don't agree with new 'fun things' popping up all the time now that cost a lot of money to many people, especially at this time of year.

Lot's of people's are saying the same thing that they were given very little notice from their child's school about the Christmas jumper day, and were then looking everywhere for a jumper that cost quite a bit, especially if they were not going the wear it again.
One of my children's schools didn't take part and other is a special school where a lot of the children struggle with change and did take part, this was not a great hardly any notice idea.

Kaekae · 20/12/2014 14:11

We had Christmas jumper day at school too at very short notice. I did groan about it a bit because I knew it was another thing to add to my list to go out and find. I also do think about the families who don't just have the cash to just nip out and get things at such short notice. I really dislike mufti days we get two nearly every term. We've got our use out of the jumpers but I would not have bought them had it not been for the school jumper day. Also, the school could have taken some great photos of the children at school in their jumpers and they didn't even bother!

GothMummy · 20/12/2014 14:11

My son's school did CJD for foodbank donations, not STC. I didnt realise it was a STC initiative.

Still thinking of a noun to describe the economic unit of effort expended into unpaid family work.....

IAmAPaleontologist · 20/12/2014 14:13

We didn't have Christmas jumper day this year thank goodness. I don't buy the bloody things whether made by child labour or hand stitched by a British seamstress earning £50K a year. Last year when school did Christmas Jumpers having already done All Saints dress up because they are a Catholic school plus CIN plus a mad hair day for the Philippines plus plus plus plus plus give us £25 a head for leprosy because we've brainwashed your children and this and that and the other I got some felt decorations from the tree and safety pinned them to normal jumpers.

I'm all for schools having fun and I'm all for raising money but I don't like it when the raising money involved having to spend more money on top of the donation/sponsorship. They did a sponsored read this year which was great.

It is always something you have not got. Doesn't matter how much you have in your house the one thing school wants will not be there. I have a growing collection of different coloured t-shirts in a sort of middle of primary school size I'm hoping I can get away with for all the dcs at various points. The other day dd had to wear smart black trousers. Except the flipping child refuses trousers .

Beatricepottershouse · 20/12/2014 14:33

" However at my dc's concert, one class all had to wear Xmas jumpers and I couldn't help feeling for the one or two who didn't have one."

That's precisely my point. CJD exerts social pressure and dc who cannot afford or whose parents don't want to participate might feel left out. I think a school is not the right setting for this sort of fundraising at all. Schools are basically telling parents to waste their money on a pointless frivolous garment and then donate money of top of that. It's too much on top of all the other fundraising that happens each term.

I can't articulate why but I feel that this type of 'event' promotes herd mentality and reinforces a passive attitude to genuine social issues such as child poverty.

PhaedraIsMyName · 20/12/2014 16:35

When did this become a thing? I don't recall my son's school ever having a non uniform day.

I hate dress down days at work too. We have them at least twice a month. I ignore them and if anything will be even smarter than I usually am.

erin99 · 20/12/2014 17:00

Totally agree on the waste of resources thing. At my school we could wear red or green to be festive for Christmas concert practices. That was plenty without anyone needing to buy anything specially.

That said I disliked the Onesie fad for the same reason, but once I cracked the DC have really enjoyed them.