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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas jumper day moan

112 replies

LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 19:34

Sorry going to get my Scrooge half hour out of the way,have tried to sit on my hands but can't any longer.Feel free to flame.

So we had our belated letter from school proclaiming the last day as Xmas jumper charidee day.Not having a spare £30 to blow on chuck away clothing items that won't survive the washing machine my dc went without a cheap nylon child labour crafted master piece and survived however I do feel the need to grumble.

Many parents will feel pressurised to buy the above from a cut price outlet and I suspect some kids of those that don't will feel a tad awkward.

I'd rather send my £30 to the charity involved instead of Primark.

We're all a tad cash strapped as it is this time of year.

So aibu?

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 19/12/2014 21:51

I brought some fruit of the loom tshirt from amazon £1.30 each and a load of fabric pens. DD made her own Christmas tshirt and wore it over a long sleeve top (and superhero tshirt for Cin) she really enjoyed making them - didn't cost a fortune and fits the theme.

TheCowThatLaughs · 19/12/2014 21:52

At our school they organised a sale of outgrown Xmas jumpers prior to the day with proceeds to the school. A lot of children just wore non-uniform though.

greenbananas · 19/12/2014 21:53

single and proud, that's what I'd have done if I'd thought of it in time!

Singleandproud · 19/12/2014 21:56

DD loved it and has now 'designed' all her knickers and vests. I'll be keeping a stash of tshirt from now on because we never get any notice.

badgerknowsbest · 19/12/2014 21:58

I don't get the whole wear a Christmas jumper for charity thing, surely if people weren't buying a sodding jumper in the first place they could donate more to charity.

I do find it amusing now how 'fashionable' Christmas jumpers have become if I had decided to wear a lairy jumper with a tree or Santa to school in the 90's I surely would have been laughed at Grin

TheRealAmandaClarke · 19/12/2014 22:02

I forgot didn't read the letter
So DS just went in regular uniform Xmas Blush

GothMummy · 19/12/2014 22:05

Lots of kids at my sons's school had tinsel tacked round cuffs and hems or just treated it a mufti day Mine happen to have xmas jumpers as I got a bit over excited in early December but lots didnt!

chocolatereindeer · 19/12/2014 22:12

What's a mufti day? Hmm

Saz12 · 19/12/2014 22:27

It's not that helpful to a charity to spend on something that'll be worn only once or twice then end as landfill. However DD has a "party dress" that realistically will be worn no more than half-a-dozen times, which isn't really so different from a Christmas jumper.

PhaedraIsMyName · 19/12/2014 22:27

Christmas jumpers are not funny nor witty nor ironic. Just hideous.

EilisCitron · 19/12/2014 22:53

"I'll be scouring the charity shops the following January."

See, this is the thing. This stupid Christmas jumpers nonsense just puts more pressure on parents (mothers really, let's face it) to either

  • spend money
  • do clever and labour- intensive things to avoid spending money (like "scouring the charity shops" the second one Christmas is over)
  • be the curmudgeon that says "we aren't doing that"
  • and ALL of those things take resource from the parent (mother) personally, AND out of the family, for NO FUCKING REASON because
  • the jumpers look objectively horrible
  • and they DO NO GOOD TO ANYONE. the connection between the charity and the horrible jumper is entirely notional; actually, spurious.

When I say "take resource" I mean it all really adds up. I am astonished by how much non-academic nonsense primary schools throw at parents to do, and I wonder how on earth those with children manage the equivalents for their own children, and I wonder why having to do all sorts of nonsense the night before things at 1am doesn't make them think. All this crap takes energy or money or some sort of Marxist labour / cash / hour-joule that I wish existed for the analysis of this sort of thing, that would FAR better be used for something else, whether inside the family or facing outwards for someone else.

I mean I don't mind helping my children with their education. Clearly that is part of my job. Then there is a whole other sort of "WOO, COMMUNITY!" job that has nothing to do with actual practical things for your general, wider community, like food banks or whatever, but sort of phatic bonding exercises.

I suppose successful communities usually do these, but primary schools are unusual (unique?) in that the actual members of the community rely so heavily on the labour-joules of others for these activities, others who won't even be there and already have actual other jobs. All this "WOO! COMMUNITY!" stuff I think is frankly, too expensive, of my time and money (the adult-family-joule that I think needs to be posited and defined), and if they really want such an emphasis on this in the school they should shift the balance to more things that the children could actively do themselves, or with the help of teachers only.

In fact now I think about it, thinking about the distinction between the school (that your children go to) community and the Community-community, I can feel a conspiracy theory coming on. How do you engage with your community? Well this, and that, and .... then ... ultimately there is going to come a point where your interests, beliefs and commitment lead you to politics. Then, you will have clarity on what political campaigns will have a direct impact on your community, for better or for worse. Then if you have the adult-joules (time / money / labour) to get involved - and lots of you do this - THINGS COULD CHANGE.

OH NO! Far better they "scour the charity shops in Jan" for NEXT YEAR'S CHRISTMAS JUMPERS.

Otherwise, you know, we would be letting our children down.

GothMummy · 19/12/2014 23:06

Apart from the horribleness of said jumpers, I agree with everything you say EllisCitron.

I am often shocked/stressed/exhausted by the amount of very labour intensive non academic activities that are required of me by our primary school but I assumed that I only felt like that because I was disorganised, always in a rush to get to work and basically a bit rubbish :(

greenbananas · 19/12/2014 23:08

wow, eiliscitron, that was a good rant! You sound a little bit mad but I think I agree with you.

greenbananas · 19/12/2014 23:09

(mad in a good way, I hasten to add)

PhaedraIsMyName · 19/12/2014 23:13

It was an excellent rant.

LePetitMarseillais · 19/12/2014 23:14

Yes it was.Grin

OP posts:
EilisCitron · 19/12/2014 23:16

GothMummy, this is what they do! They isolate you so it feels like a personal failing rather than having, quite literally, better things to do. It's not you! It's it!

This is why I get so cross on mn when someone wails something to the effect of "help, how can I get through all this work" and a bunch of posters pile in saying things like "WELL FOR ONE THING, YOU COULD HAVE SCOURED THE CHARITY SHOPS LAST JANUARY.". I mean that is never really going to help the situation for all of us, is it? We can't all be the early bird who catches the christmas jumper charity shop worm. It's a ridiculous system of busy-work set up to pit us against each other; distract us from activism; and make us insecure, convince us that the problem is our personal failings.

Metalguru · 19/12/2014 23:16

If they weren't bothered was there really pressure? I sent mine with reindeer ears from pound land, nobody batted an eyelid. Did school ask specifically for "Christmas jumpers"

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers · 19/12/2014 23:17

Hmmmmm not really a choice you had to go to Primark and get one, they sold out of kids ones weeks ago so they won't miss the custom tbh. Couple of weeks ago Primark was giving £2 from each jumper sold to a christmas wish charity for terminally Ill children. They did this for a whole week. It's quite a big cut tbh considering most jumpers were £8 so 25% went to charity. Not sure how this fits into your idea of how evil Primark is........ IMO the real criminals are those selling jumpers for £25 that are made in the same factories as Primark.....

WhatKatyDidnt · 19/12/2014 23:18

Whoop! Eilis for PM!

PhaedraIsMyName · 19/12/2014 23:18

We can't all be the early bird who catches the christmas jumper charity shop worm

What a strangely pleasing sentence.

EilisCitron · 19/12/2014 23:24

thankyou, thankyou, I am actually entirely serious although hamming it up a bit

iamEarthymama · 19/12/2014 23:33

EilisC
Brilliantly!
Exactly my thoughts, far better expressed.

formerbabe · 19/12/2014 23:40

Christmas jumper day cost me £20... Got them several sizes too big so they get to wear them for more than one Christmas!

Moanranger · 19/12/2014 23:49

EilisC I think the term is " opportunity-costing" at least that is what I learned in my econ classes. V useful as what it means is that if you earn, say £15/ hr (for sake of argument) at your job, then every time you bake cakes for school fete, clean toilets, etc, it costs you £15/ hr. So buy at Tesco, or hire a cleaner for less.
I think there is a more Marxian sub-text to your point, such as the co-opting of the revolutionary tendencies of young mums by societal pressure to conform to bourgeois standards.??