Christmas jumper day moan

[LePetitMarseillais]

Sorry going to get my Scrooge half hour out of the way,have tried to sit on my hands but can't any longer.Feel free to flame.

So we had our belated letter from school proclaiming the last day as Xmas jumper charidee day.Not having a spare £30 to blow on chuck away clothing items that won't survive the washing machine my dc went without a cheap nylon child labour crafted master piece and survived however I do feel the need to grumble.

Many parents will feel pressurised to buy the above from a cut price outlet and I suspect some kids of those that don't will feel a tad awkward.

I'd rather send my £30 to the charity involved instead of Primark.

We're all a tad cash strapped as it is this time of year.

So aibu?

Moanranger, there are two things:

• yes, the whole distraction from activism thing. BUT I am not a "young mum" (though my children are young, I consider myself pretty seasoned and I look like a bit of an old boot) and it isn't about bourgeois standards. On the contrary - I get a very lower middle class / upper working class vibe from the jolly determinedly apolitical salt-of-the-earth ness of this sort of thing. a sort of " we don't have much but we get on with it with a smile on our faces" type thing that precludes any argument about why we are getting on with it, or for whom^

• I know the term opportunity cost but it doesn't cover what I need. I need some sort of unit of financial / personal / family energy which has more scope than simply covering that some people earn more an hour than it would cost to buy the cakes. Firstly, who said you had to provide the cakes at all, as opposed to teaching your children something useful but of no economic value, like the table cloth trick, or playing the kazoo; secondly, I think we need a unit that covers all income brackets. Every parent who puts a wash on and hangs it out, or sits with a child doing spellings, or holds a little vomitting head, or whatever, has committed units of energy into the family that should be accountable whether or not the person who did this commands a top professional rate in the day.

When you have a family, you either do this, or you pay someone top dollar to do it right (and you can only do this when your time is tied up making the money to do this), or you don't and you pay the price. no such thing as a free lunch.

My argument is is that this "WOO COMMUNITY!" flim flam is using up these same units of energy that are required by the actual real shit of earning a living or wiping your baby's arse, and there should be some counter that can be translated across these spheres that shows WHAT A WASTED COUNTER IT IS when it is used for TACKING TINSEL ON A JUMPER or "SCOURING THE CHARITY SHOPS IN JAN" and it doesn't matter what you earn, it is a universal unit, of which all adults have a finite number per week, and all children and dependents require the adults looking after them to spend them wisely

Mm, think I have lost you now, perhaps because I am tired..

I am a firm believer in getting on with it, preferably with a smile, and I am certainly middling working class, but I am certainly not apolitical, and I don't know anybody in my neighbourhood who is. We all feel pretty strongly about politics, and our local residents association's, mps etc are not giving us the support we need to make our voices heard. Most folk give up / don't bother and just concentrate on making end meet within their own families.

I know exactly why I am "getting on with" the whole Christmas jumpers malarkey - it's so that my kids don't feel left out, even though I think the whole thing is ridiculous.

I disagree almost completely with moanranger - because that argument leads to the work of lawyers, bankers and even call centre staff being valued more highly than the work of parenting and informally educating. Children suffer when their care is seen in purely financial terms, or even in terms of "counters". But perhaps I need to sleep on this...

And yes, if there was some counter representing unit of energy spent on family stuff, I would resent any school demanding any of these precious counters were spent on Christmas jumpers. After all, some of us have more counters than others...

Sorry, greenbananas, if you think I am being horrible about working class people. I am not. I am just objecting to the notion that there is some sort of "bourgeois" "aspiration" association with the pressure that people are being put under to do this nonsense (and by implication that they are silly or snobbish for doing so).

No, it isn't that at all, it is, as you say so our kids don't feel left out. It is being presented as minimal, not aspirational. (And objecting is being presented as snobbish or unkind.)

"I disagree almost completely with moanranger - because that argument leads to the work of lawyers, bankers and even call centre staff being valued more highly than the work of parenting and informally educating."

Yes this is what I mean. the work that isn't paid, or paid highly, is mistakenly devalued. Economists do not have a language that is able to talk about everything of value, not even everything of material value. it is a very lacking language.

"Children suffer when their care is seen in purely financial terms"

ues

", or even in terms of "counters""

Well I don't know. I haven't worked my counters out yet. I was hoping to do so in a way that acknowledges all the unseen input, labour, whatever you want to call it, that does have value to the child. I'm working on it, ok?

I guess the problem of currency / counters is problematic because the interchangeableness of small units of labour, when accounted as say £ belies that fact that the aggregate of many of small units = love. (A lifetime of moments of face wiping / sandwiches / laughing at crap jokes = love, not a lifetime x £) And there is no substitute for love.

but ok leave it with me I know what I mean and I am working it out.

and you sond great by the way

Yanbu.

The concept of Christmas jumper day is rubbish. There are no redeeming features imo.

1. Not everyone can afford so some parents mothers end up either buying though they can't afford it or feeling ashamed inadequate if they don't.

1. Those dc who don't go in with a fancy jumper are bound to feel left out. For some this might be character building for others another reason to be bullied.

1. CJD promotes consumerism and the £££ wasted on a aesthetically, environmentally and ethically questionable (dodgy designs, carbon footprint, child labour) garments could be put to much better use (PTA, other charity, child's saving account, weekly shopping).

1. Although it's supposed to be a 'fun' and 'unsusual' day, dc learn nothing about creativity, resourcefulness because they just get bought a jumper and put it on. Instead of CJD they could have a mufti day and provide arts and crafts / face paint / materials in school on the last day of term to let dc dress up in something sparkly and fun. far fetched?.

CJD is just another empty, blant, unoriginal, unreflective and simply cringeworthy attempt at getting parents to donate ever more cash via school.

This madness needs to stop. Now.

I bought 3 jumpers for school aged dcs And had to donate a pound each. I would have rather sent them with a fiver each for the charity instead.

i agree , who really wants to wear a christmas jumper more than three times at the most.
money to burn.
even I was contemplating buying some, that would be three, for my DC, just because of this stupid "craze".
did it come from Bridget Jones?

they were selling them in posh part of town yesterday, special children's christmas jumper, for £9.99. sounds like a rip off to me

but it is not just schools that do it, adults have to succumb to this ridiculous scenario. apparently

I agree with you, OP

YANBU OP

DH had to wear a christmas jumper to work last week, and spent a long time muttering about this absurd new way for supermarkets to flog Christmas shite to people. I ended up making a wee reindeer motif and pinning it to his jumper - then when DS had a Christmas tat wearing day at school, I could pin the same one to his jumper. BUT I have time/energy/inclination to make this, so it was fun for me - most people have better things to do with their life than that, so they end up spending hard earned cash on unwearable crap just to fit in. It's bloody ridiculous.

I agree with you Ellis, and OP!!

I work ft, as does my dh. We don't have extended family near by at all. Plenty of our friends don't work ft (the women anyway) because they feel they want to help with school or do all this stuff, and frankly it's not because they cannot work full time (I'm sure their schools, companies would want a ft assistant head teacher, or senior IT manager, school teacher..) but because they feel that they want to be with their children (and do all this advance shopping and planning).

So re Christmas jumper day, the first I heard about it was a text message from school. Another friend reminded me, and we had a festive looking jumper (snowflakes) but no Olaf/reindeer sort. We went to school in that. I didn't even bring the pound (it didn't occur to me it was a donation!!!). Whoops.

So that was a lost cause then...

I don't understand also, the point of spending £5 of resources (gas, butter, flour, eggs etc) producing 12 cupcakes, and selling them each for 20p.....

NK5BM3, the stupid cake sale pricing is ridiculously insulting as it treats the baker's time as of actually less than no value. if you sold the cakes for a decent amount, the baker could feel that they had made a dignified donation of time and resources to the cause. As they sell so cheaply, the baker has actually made a donation to the cake eater and a minor donation to the official cause. it is just taking your labour away and giving it to people who likes cakes, as if your labour is so trivial you don't get to decide who are giving it to. And having cheap cakes is another WOO! COMMUNITY! thing again and that is the subconscious justification (none of this is actually consciously thought through)

the other silly thing about the Christmas jumper nonsense is that it takes place in schools that have school uniforms. When you get into a discussion about why school uniform is a Good Thing (which I agree with, at least in our culture) there are lots of arguments about not putting pressure on poor families, etc, that are completely vitiated if you then have about 8 days a year where you are going to put all this pressure on the families anyway, even if they are supposedly "exceptions" (but there seem to be about 3 a term). So the very schools that have decided that they are going to have uniforms and should therefore understand all this, clearly don't.

(Yes I am still going on about this)

EilisC what fantastic posts

Yy re the cakes.What does it teach kids?The same as non uniform days,Xmas jumper days etc.Charity/ fund raising is mummy/daddy spending time,money and effort(most they are probably short on) to give me treats.

Not cost effective or educational.I'd rather give the money spent and the kids have a day learning about the charity being focused on.

Great post from Ellis again particularly about school uniform.

I am a teacher (don't throw the jumpers at me, we don't make the decisions re: dressing up!!!) - I agree parents are consistently put under pressure these days to dress up their kids and donate money for this and that....

HOWEVER...

The Christmas jumper thing is the brainchild of Save The Children, they started it last year, asking people to wear them and donate money to STC. It was such an unprecedented success that they put a lot more advertising into it and as far as I can tell, almost every school everywhere did it this year to raise money for STC - a lot of workplaces of friends I know did it too.

So yes, be annoyed, but it all comes from Save The Children and we're not to blame!!

From a teacher who is always being shouted at by parents for things not her fault

Too tired to read the long sweary rants... but here is a thought. Don't like it? Don't do it!! Really, it won't matter to anyone. Presumably people who spend this long ranting about it in mn will be happy to teach their children that they don't have to conform to every little such expectation? I have long since taught my children about the value of money and how we should be selective about charities etc - they would absolutely accept it if we weren't to do 'Christmas jumpers'. However we all have them, have done for years, long before they became fashionable We will be wearing them with pride to the panto today!!

P.S what in the world is mufti? Cannot see that answered anywhere on the thread.

But Save the Children surely work against child labour and poor working conditions for adults(which will impact on their children). Cheap jumpers from pop up shops(yes really a whole shop devoted to them in our town) or other cut price outlets is surely encouraging this kind of labour.

Interestingly the money our school was collecting wasn't going to StheC.

Our school did the christmas jumper day last week. I think the PTA must have also felt self conscious about asking parents to spend money on a jumper to be worn for one day, so they then asked the kids to carry on wearing the jumpers through the last week of school.

Now that the jumpers have been through 6 whole days at school (with accompanying paint, lunches, glue, etc) I can't decide whether to wash them, burn them, or perhaps just pull out all the stops and get in an exorcist.

Yes you clearly haven't read the thread.Long sweaty rants(er no just a few interesting and considered opinions). Kids sent without(and not bothered).

I think I agree with OP & Eilis but I'm a little hungover so a lot if the brainy stuff hasn't sunk in.

Mufti,
wear your own clothes. civvies

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mufti_%28dress%29

We had a Christmas jumper day at school on Thursday. Late notice given.

However. It was organised by one of the year six boys. His dad died in February and he asked the head if they could do it for diabetes UK. The letter actually said they were calling it Christmas jumper day but really anything christmassy was fab. Mine wore antlers. Lots of tinsel going on too. Everyone very generous with donations.

Done like that it's fab.

It's interesting though isn't it? The CJD is a subtle or not so subtle way to raise money by drawing on people's inherent desire to comply with social norms and social pressure. The Christmas jumper is a very visible icon, therefore children and adults who don't go to school / workplace wearing one are not part of the 'fun and festive' and 'generous' spirit which CJD appears to be drawing on.

Of course the Christmas jumper is also a call to action to donate money (to children in need). It is a clever campaign and its success in raising money confirms this. However if you look at the picture more holistically it's ironic that the jumpers are most likely produced by children who work under awful conditions in low-income countries and that school children in the UK whose families cannot easily afford these jumpers also might suffer from potential social exclusion as a result.

Dc2 is 14, all he wants for Christmas is a Christmas jumper - he does have more than that but I got him the primark reindeer one with bells and pom-poms, totally OTT. So I was toying with letting him have it yesterday or waiting. Really pissed me off. In the end he didn't want to dress up yesterday which was a relief.