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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

help with the practical positives and negatives of formula feeding

260 replies

KnackeredMerrily · 18/12/2014 11:57

I'm currently breastfeeding my week old but we are struggling with putting weight on and jaundice.

I've been here before with my first son, and the first months of his life with feeding him 20 times a day and expressing top up feeds. The idea of doing it again makes me want to curl up into a ball and weep.

But, I've never gone through the practicalities of formula feeding either. What is it like? How do you make feeds up in advance? Is it a fiddle travelling with bottles and keeping them warm and wondering how much they've had? Is one formula better than another?

I am well aware of the benefits of breastfeeding so I don't need to hear that slant. I'm just wondering what the day to day life is like when FF

OP posts:
monkeytroubles · 18/12/2014 17:53

OP made it very clear that she is well aware of the merits of breastfeeding and started this thread purely to discuss the practicalities of formula feeding...really dissapointed that people are choosing to completely disregard this.

Justgotosleepnow · 18/12/2014 17:54

Most women can breastfeed- with the right support.
Sadly most don't get any, or mis-information.

And of course it's every woman's right to make her own decision as how to feed her baby. But if she's not making her decision with real facts or support then it's not really a fair decision.

And our culture in the uk seems to be obsessed with breasts only being sexual, rather than their biological status for feeding babies. Lots of body parts have multiple uses, so too breasts.

And yes formula advertising is worth millions of pounds, getting true facts about Breastfeeding out there, in the face of this massive juggernaut is like pissing in the wind really.

Fabulous46 · 18/12/2014 17:54

I hate the way these threads descend into pleas for the OP to stick with BF, because they haven't tried hard enough.

I completely agree. Even when the OP has said she is well aware of the benefits of BF! SOME people don't seem to get it through their thick skulls it's not for everyone.

Fabulous46 · 18/12/2014 17:56

And our culture in the uk seems to be obsessed with breasts only being sexual

This is NOTHING to do with the OP. Not ONCE did she mention anything about this. They posted asking for advice, not a fucking lecture from you justgotosleepnow

MmeLindor · 18/12/2014 17:56

Pips
Yes, you are right. It is a negative, and FF will never be quite as comfortable and convenient as BFing (at least when BFing is going well!)

I tried BFing but it didn't work for me. Maybe with more support, it would have. I don't have any problems or guilt that I didn't BF.

LePetitMarseillais · 18/12/2014 18:00

Just are you just choosing to ignore posts.

Having a jaundiced baby can be a bloody worrying time if it just won't go away.

Now is not the time for a bfing lecture,we all know the benefits(you'd have to be on planet Mars not to) but some of us just don't think they are enough,even less so in the op's position.

Op will be having a shit time and asked not to have a lecture.

monkeytroubles · 18/12/2014 18:10

I am so sick of people assuming that if a woman decides to stop breastfeeding it must be lack of support, lack of education, lack of "facts" etc. It's incredibly patronising. Maybe they are as educated as you and in posession of all the "facts" and and BF is just not for them!
If someone starts a thread saying "i'm struggling to BF, really don't want to have to stop, don't feel I'm getting enough support, advice please" then great, go to town! But OP hasn't asked for breastfeeding advice or where to access breastfeeding support or to hear all about the benefits of BF. In fact, she specified very clearly that this wasn't what she was after. What OP asked for was practical information about formula feeding but heaven forbid we actually provide support to women who choose NOT to breastfeed.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2014 18:10

I hate the way these threads descend into pleas for the OP to stick with BF, because they haven't tried hard enough.

This ^^

I think some people should be ashamed of themselves.

greenfolder · 18/12/2014 18:16

everyone knows the benefits of breast feeding. as an intelligent woman, i fully embraced the idea of breast feeding. It ruined my experience of parenthood for the first few weeks of dd1's life. Sleep deprivation- dozens of people telling me everyone could breast-feed and helpfully that if i was in the third world my baby would die and therefore everyone could and should breastfeed. But i couldn't. The minute i started formula feeding I was happy. Next 2 the only thing i had on my birth plan was that I was not breast feeding. Also meant that others could feed them and look after them.

FedUpMilitaryWife · 18/12/2014 18:25

Well said, Monkeytroubles!

PhaedraIsMyName · 18/12/2014 18:32

I used a steam steriliser. It was brilliant. For out and about I used long life pre-prepared bottles which were sterile as long as they were sealed and didn't have to be kept chilled. By that time he was around 4 months and was happy to take them without being warmed.

None of this was a faff in anyway and even if it had been it would still be better than the soul -destroying misery of bfeeding.

PhaedraIsMyName · 18/12/2014 18:40

I'm just always amazed that people will spend more time reading buggy reviews and the instructions that come with them than they will finding out how to safely prepare the sole food product that their baby may be eating every single day for the first (and most vulnerable) few months of their lives.

I asked my health visitor for advice on ff . She knew bf wasn't working, she knew I was going back to work full time, she knew baby wasn't gaining weight but she refused to give me any advice on ff.

Kelly1814 · 18/12/2014 18:44

I FF and it was the best thing ever. Never understood why people say it is a a hassle. Make up bottles for the day in the morning, put in fridge. Take out and pop in microwave for 20 seconds (swirl in case of not spots)

Use a microwave steriliser.

I loved the Freedom, being able to share the load of childcare with DH. He loves giving DD her morning bottle.

We share bedtimes, bathtimes, I can leave DD with no fuss. She settles easily and well and sleeps well.

Oh and she has never had so much as a sniffle at 15 months old.

Kelly1814 · 18/12/2014 18:49

'FF will never be as comfortable and convenient as breast feeding"

I wholeheartedly disagree with this!

bubalou · 18/12/2014 19:00

Oh god I didn't think it would be long until the bloody breast feeding pushers came on and unloaded Confused

The op doesn't want advice. NO - Everybody cannot breastfeed!!!!

People get to make decisions about thousands of things to do with raising their child - this is a personal choice and has duck all to do with anyone else.

Fed up of hearing people want a medal because they have breastfed their kid until they were 3.

Confused
bubalou · 18/12/2014 19:00

Paha - duck all. Oh well that's a politer way then I meant to say it. Grin

MmeLindor · 18/12/2014 19:01

Kelly
That is because you only quoted half of my sentence! And ok, with BFing you don't have the advantage of being able to handover to DH or a friend to get some rest.

Totally agree with Monkeytroubles. OP doesn't need support or advice on BFing.

Like Greenfolder, I struggled to BF first child, and was so relieved when I made the decision to FF. When DS was born, I didn't even try to BF.

fatlazymummy · 18/12/2014 19:04

Totally agree with you kelly. I found breastfeeding to be massively inconvenient.
I know a lot of mothers say it does become easy after a few weeks/months, but it's a matter of surviving that period of time. Putting my life on hold to get breastfeeding established wasn't an option for me, and nor did I want it to be either.

Bulbasaur · 18/12/2014 19:11

DD is exclusively FF and has been since she was 3 days old because I hated BF.

Pros:

  • Eye contact and snuggles when bottle feeding
  • Can let others take care of baby while you catch up on sleep
  • Baby can bond just as much with partner since he can feed baby too
  • Your nipples don't hurt and never will.
  • Your boobs won't be weird shaped when you're baby is weaned
  • Minimal nutritional difference between breast milk
  • Bottle feeding is very quick. Over in 5-10 minutes.
  • Don't feed as often.
  • Always know how much your baby is eating
  • Easy to switch from bottle to sippy cup and wean.
  • When baby is older they can hold bottle and feed themselves if you need to get things done.

Cons:

  • Breast is best, blah blah blah.
  • Can be harsh on a baby's stomach if you don't get the right kind
  • Need right bottles or air can get in stomach. Dr. Brown's bottles are good.
  • If you run out while baby is hungry, you're screwed. Always stay stocked.
  • Expensive!!
  • Makes poo stink worse than FF babies

Obviously I'm biased. Grin

There's really not much difference between the two. Our pediatrician has seen sickly BF babies and healthy strong FF babies. Health and allergies are more genetic and BF doesn't guarantee that a baby won't have health problems or allergies. It just puts a few more tickets into the raffle bucket.

It's a personal choice, so do what works best for you. Some women feel like they bond better with BF, but I found being able to relax and feed a baby while cuddling and not having my nipples chomped down on was a better bonding experience.

Oh and DD's first word was still "mama", so didn't stop her from forming a strong bond with me. Grin

SquirrelledAway · 18/12/2014 19:17

To add to the above list - once I had made the decision to ff DS1, the midwife said "I'm not really supposed to tell you any positives, but babies tend to sleep longer on formula as it takes longer to digest". That was certainly our experience - both could drain a bottle like a sludge pump and then sleep for hours.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2014 19:17

Good post Bulbasaur

I've rolled my eyes and bitten my tongue on many occasions when I've mentioned I FF'd all 3 of mine.

I've had the 'Best start in life' lecture from mothers who were obese during pregnancy, mothers who smoked during pregnancy and mothers whose infant school children were very overweight.

It seems some people will take this 'Best start in life' phrase and apply it only where it suits them.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2014 19:18

I should add, the lectures cam from Mumsnetters...not normal folk in real life Xmas Grin

Kim82 · 18/12/2014 19:26

I formula feed and find it very easy. In the first few weeks I made up bottles in advance and stored them in the fridge as she was demand fed and there was no routine to her feeding. Now she's older (5months) I make up the bottles as she needs them as I know when she will want to feed.

When out and about I make sure she will want to feed no more than 2 hours after we leave the house so I can make her bottle up before we go (she's on prescription milk so I can't use ready made) and she has it at room temp.

My steriliser fits 6 bottles so I only need to sterilise once a day so no faff there either. I find ff easier than bf (I did bf for a couple of weeks) but it was constant and with 3 other dc to care for it was too time consuming.

Fabulous46 · 18/12/2014 19:26

I've had the 'Best start in life' lecture from mothers who were obese during pregnancy, mothers who smoked during pregnancy and mothers whose infant school children were very overweight.

I had two of the above in RL. I FF all four of mine. I'm a mouthy cow though and when the obese and smoking mothers felt it pertinent to comment on the way I chose to feed my children they were left speechless. The truth sometimes hurts Grin.

I shake my head when the BF advocates come on and lecture a FF mum. Only once in RL have I come across it. The rest of the time I only ever see it on forums.

Bulbasaur · 18/12/2014 19:28

To add to the above list - once I had made the decision to ff DS1, the midwife said "I'm not really supposed to tell you any positives, but babies tend to sleep longer on formula as it takes longer to digest". That was certainly our experience - both could drain a bottle like a sludge pump and then sleep for hours.

They also sleep longer and eat less often when you add cereal to their bottles. We had to do this with DD since she was eating formula faster than we could buy it. Slowed down her eating and she was much happier when she wasn't hungry all the time. It's not officially recommended though because it can cause obesity in babies. DD is pretty lean and active though, so I've never worried.