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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting fed up of these type of jumping on the band wagon breastfeeding threads

402 replies

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 16/12/2014 07:21

here

FTR I'm very pro breastfeeding and think where children are permitted mothers should be able to feed their babies in whichever way they choose. But to me this is a completely different situation and this running to the papers screaming about the inequity of it all is pointless and doesnt actually help in cases where people do breach the equality act.
So AIBU?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 10:57

I'm not talking about feeding.

If baby sitter or baby got sick or there was an emergency or she realised she left her phone on the car. and needed to go get it

BertieBotts · 16/12/2014 10:59

Agreed it was not really something to go to the papers about and the venue was justified, begrudgingly. But I think it is right to talk about this - not all workplaces are suitable for babies/small children but some are. It's just another barrier for women in the workplace when that workplace can't be flexible occasionally about childcare. And I don't think it's helpful to say "What if everyone did it?!" - what, all at once? I doubt it. Most of the time it's not appropriate to have children in adult workplaces. But sometimes if that is where the mother is it is the right place for a child, especially a very young baby, to be.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:00

That's what maternity leave is for though

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:01

And no kids is no kids. Regardless of bf status or health problems or mothers wishes

BertieBotts · 16/12/2014 11:02

In any of those emergencies presumably the babysitter would do whatever the babysitter of the four year old would do. Perhaps contact the children's other parent? Unless it was life or death I think a babysitter is capable of understanding you can't just barge onto the stage and demand someone come away just because they are a mother.

BertieBotts · 16/12/2014 11:03

Oh god!

Nancy66 · 16/12/2014 11:03

the woman is being ridiculous. Are we all going to demand the right to take our kids to work with us next?

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:05

It's irrelevant though. If kids are not allowed it's end of.

It's part of the conditions of the licence. I could not leave my child in the staff room where I work.

They have months of maternity leave to sort out these details. waitress, singer, chef, Dr you do not take your child to work. 3 days 3 weeks or 6 months. you just don't

namechange47583 · 16/12/2014 11:07

Those who think that the law should be changed, how exactly? As the law stands employers must provide a place for the Mum to express and store her BM. Are you suggesting that the workplace should provide a creche for Bf babies or a place the mum's childcare provider of choice to stay with baby. That would be completely unrealistic! She was going to perform at at child free location, the onus was on her to make alternative arrangements for her child.

Icimoi · 16/12/2014 11:07

I very much doubt that there is any by-law forbidding this - it may prevent children going into the public club premises, but not the other parts of the building. It won't automatically affect insurance either; that totally depends on the specific terms of insurance, where again the strong likelihood is that the age restriction only refers to the public part of the building.

TheFairyCaravan · 16/12/2014 11:08

No working mother has to go back to work when the baby is 12 weeks old, so it is not a barrier for women in the workplace. That's why we have ML so that women can stay at home to look after the baby and feed how it she wants, when she wants. However, if she chooses to go back to work, especially in the environment this woman has, she has to accept there will be venues that she can't take the baby to. This can't be news to to her.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:09

But in order to access the other parts you may have to go through age restricted parts.

PhaedraIsMyName · 16/12/2014 11:11

I very much doubt that there is any by-law forbidding this - it may prevent children going into the public club premises, but not the other parts of the building. It won't automatically affect insurance either; that totally depends on the specific terms of insurance, where again the strong likelihood is that the age restriction only refers to the public part of the building

It is not a bye-law. It will be a rule the venue has imposed which it is perfectly entitled to do and perfectly entitled to enforce for whatever reason it likes.

You have no idea whatsoever what the insurance or licence conditions say.

raltheraffe · 16/12/2014 11:13

"raltheraffe - Do you think she really hadn't thought of that and wouldn't have done that FIRST if that was an option? Obviously she couldn't for some reason"

I cannot think of one good reason that she could not leave baby with the sitter who had the 4 year old.

raltheraffe · 16/12/2014 11:15

No working mother has to go back to work when the baby is 12 weeks old, so it is not a barrier for women in the workplace.

Legally I did not have to go back to work early, but I run a business which our family depend on as DH cannot work through disability. So I had to go back to work early as if I had left it much longer there would have been no business to return to.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 16/12/2014 11:16

I cannot think of one good reason that she could not leave baby with the sitter who had the 4 year old.

It's really not that hard to think of one. Many breastfed babies refuse to take a bottle.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:19

Can I just ask, does career influence feeding choices at all?

I mean if your likely to return early or work nights meaning you won't be available for night feeding, wouldn't it influence whether or not you introduced bottles or mix fed or expressed.

Surely you wouldn't assume you could just take baby with you or that licencing laws can he broken for one might of your the entertainment.

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 11:21

Many breastfed babies refuse to take a bottle.

And, presumably then, they would starve to death if anything happened to the Mum? I don't think so.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:23

Why wouldn't introducing a bottle of expressed milk be high on the list of or priorities for someone who works entertaining at age restricted venues.

makes no sense.

TheFairyCaravan · 16/12/2014 11:23

I agree Giles. I think she is daft to think that the rules would be broken because she is BF.

She's solved the problem with this venue all by herself, imo. Now it's plastered all over the papers, I highly doubt she will be booked to play there again!

canweseethebunnies · 16/12/2014 11:25

So it is because of the law then phaedra? That's exactly the point I was making.

canweseethebunnies · 16/12/2014 11:31

No, namechanger, I said the law should allow it in cases such as this where the venue could use their own judgement. That is not the same as saying all work places should provide crèches for breast feeding mothers.

raltheraffe · 16/12/2014 11:32

I could not BF due to medication, but even if I had not been on medication I probably would not have done it as I have to work some anti-social hours and weekends and I have a lot of last minute emergencies when I am an employee down with literally no notice so it would not have suited my lifestyle.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:36

And that's not open to abuse at all.is it cant

and being staffs children doesn't mean your not exposed to the same risks and influences and scenes that the age restriction is there for in the first place.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 11:39

Are you telling me down the line there won't be someone bf a three yr old demanding he cut off point is. wrong because natural term is at X age.

or that a toddler won't be brought along with the bf baby because the baby sitter was "sick"

propel take the piss. another reason it's there