To think this is a bit racist?

[EMS23]

Two friends from completely separate friendship groups have recently expressed a similar opinion to me. They have each moved their DC from a school because 'she was one of only two children not called Mohammed' / 'they were all Muslims - I don't want my kid being the minority'.

After the first one, I was pretty sure it was mildly racist, felt a bit uncomfortable about it but I rarely see her so just thought, whatever, bit of a shame but no great loss.
Then one of my oldest and best friends said the exact same thing and now I don't know how to feel. I love her and have always really respected her intelligence so now what?
Am I being hyper sensitive here? I'm a white British person so i don't think I feel offended for myself IYSWIM but I abhor racism in any form and never imagined myself as being friends with people that I knew were.

Re kids in school.

Well yes! We've (our school) have told parents who's first language isn't English to speak English at home as it is hard for the child to pick up English language which we teach in! We do not teach in their language so it just slows us down so it is easier for everyone so the school has told them speak English.

This is very, very bad advice. Children who grow up bilingually have tremendous advantages, both cognitively and otherwise. If their parents speak another language to a high degree of proficiency, they should absolutely continue to speak that language at home. If anyone told me that we should change our bilingual household to a monolingual one, I would tell them in no uncertain terms that it will not happen. No way, no how. I hope that parents who receive this very poor advice have the confidence to reject it out of hand.

Standard of English isn't always perfect when typing out on a phone

But oh well there is more important things in life than grammar on a forum

Lonely just because there are people more hatefully racist than you doesn't mean you are not racist.
If I heard that comment being made by a colleague I would put in a formal complaint. But then I care about fighting racism.

Well if my opinion that there should be a mix in schools but not where there are 95% "Muslims" and 5% non Muslims makes me a racist then yes I am racist and won't argue with that as that is my opinion which I couldn't give a toss about changing and won't ever change

How about a school that is 95% non-Muslim and 5% Muslim? Would that be O.K. with you? If so, why is the reverse unacceptable?

Yes I think you do come across as racist, and terrified of change to be honest. It sounds like your childhood was all white English speakers and you desperately want that for your children, because you're scared of what you don't understand.

Because this is England that's why

However I would prefer more than 5% elk as like I said I would like a mixture but in England the main religion is Christianity so 95% muslim shouldn't be the case

So that's why I expect it to be more acceptable nothing sinister or angry racist thoughts elk

"Because this is England"? You do realise there have been some major demographic shifts in England in the past few generations, don't you?

Lonely - while I am in disagreement with most of your points, I sort of appreciate you making them because you are enabling a good debate to take place on this thread.

However - if I heard anyone and I mean anyone, let alone a colleague that teaches children, make that sort of comment about the children in Pakistan then I would most definitely challenge them on it. There and then, openly and loudly.
That might make me 'holier than thou' as I've already been called twice on this thread but really, how can you let someone get away with that?
At least make a complaint about them to your superiors. What a hateful comment to make.

And also Lonely - sorry to single you out again but in my OP and in a subsequent post where I clarified it - one of the examples I mention is a school in Cardiff. So not England.

I think the advice above to speak English at home is maybe a little misguided. Children are usually much better off with a fluent language example.

We are British, but are "immigrants" to the country we live in, though we are also white, and from a similar culture to the country we are in - so perhaps we avoid a lot of the prejudice often directed at immigrants.

I always speak English to the DC, always, though they are learning the local language at school and nursery. I wouldn't dream of addressing my DC in a language that wasn't "ours" and that I wasn't totally fluent in (though obviously I use it to talk to other mums, and to teachers, in shops etc.

I think it's awful to try to make people speak to their children in a language they aren't fully comfortable with.

And I hope that the parents in DD's class don't think she is "holding up the class" because her grasp of the language is still a bit behind her peers . Ok, maybe it's not a "racist" attitude, but it is still small-minded and unwelcoming and uninclusive.

Yrs, the main religion is Christianity - at the moment. But actually the fastest growing 'religion' in the uk is.... None. 25% of England and Wales identified as having no religion at all in the last census. 60% Christian, 5% Muslim.

Just thought that was useful context.

And you should report that teacher Lonely because their views are disgusting and I wouldn't want them spreading their bile within 50 feet of my dc.

I was one of two white children in my year at school. I loved my school, and didn't even really notice the colour of skin of all my friends as a child.

It sounds like your childhood was all white English speakers and you desperately want that for your children, because you're scared of what you don't understand.

Why do people have to go to extremes? Yoni how do you know she's scared or that she doesn't understand? It's just a cheap jibe, it's facile, you can't back it up and you've just dragged the quality of the debate down several notches.

I was thinking today about why having a 'majority' of classmates with the same cultural background for their DC might be important to people (the alleged muslims in the OP, or white brits, or sikhs or whoever) and maybe for some people they just do feel their heritage is so important they want it reinforced in the cohort around their child, maybe they don't have much experience of, or faith in multi-culturalism?

Not a viewpoint I personally understand, but it might explain the formation of monocultural schools in places where they "shouldn't" exist and maybe that is a positive rather than negative choice for some parents.

I don't approve of schools that are 95% White British or Pakistani Muslim personally and I don't approve of people deliberately seeking those settings out, but who am I to say such parents are 'scared of what they don't understand'. That's just insulting. Maybe, in their minds, they are just extremely keen to protect a heritage they value. If we get to the bottom of that, we can address the whole thing more effectively.

My son's school is mostly non white (private school). I don't think that's a bad thing because the cultural background of the boys in school is to work very very hard and that rubs off on mine and the few whites.

It does have a few implications. My children are unusual because they are white British. Both would say they are atheist so they have lots of interesting debates about women's rights and God and I love the fact all those boys are exchanging views including those boys who think a woman's place in the home subservient to her man and those boys being exposed to my sons' view that women can earn a fortune in great careers rather than serve men at home so hopefully learn about our way of life from my sons.

Also my sons are in the top set for English and write and spell and speak and have better grammar than most of the others so that's probably a plus point. I doubt that would be the case in a mostly white private school. A downside for us as a very musical family with music scholarships is there the other boys largely don't share a church music tradition but they are sent to that school to an extent to obtain it so it is not that that music is particularly lacking in the school but not to the standard of some other local schools.

The problem for some schools is that some parents choosing a private school who are not originally from the UK want to buy an English education. If what they buy is 85% Asian they are not always happy that they are buying what they wanted so for schools it must be an issue as to how to ensure the right balance (schools in the private sector anyway).

So in my view massive benefits accrue to my sons particularly because of the work ethic of their classmates and their families. In fact given I work every hard at least 6 days a week I often find much more in common with immigrant families whether first or second generation than the lazy not very bright slackers with which the UK abounds.

"I know, that's why I don't feel any sympathy about those kids in Pakistan getting shot as that is 150 kids that won't come over hear to breed 150 more out"

What a disgusting thing to say.. U wouldn't have been able to stop myself screeching What that Fuck you just say?

I think you are being prejudiced towards your friends.
Years ago when visiting my local school (my son was due to start school) I was told he would be the only white, non asian pupil. The school cooked asian food and halal only. No pork, no beef. There was also English taught as a second language. I soon realised that it wasn't the school for my son!
By the way the school I chose has children from all ethnic backgrounds.

I agree with Lonely. I don't want my children to be educated in a majority Muslim school because I don't want them to be influenced by that religion. It is a religion that has women covered head to foot in black, many Muslim countries treat women as second class citizens, enough Muslim teenagers have gone to fight with isis etc for me to want my children to be educated away from it.

If you call me a racist then you are wrong, I am anti a religion not a race.

cherry religion isn't contagious. Do you not teach your DC your own values and beliefs?