To still be upset by this woman?

[AMumDoingHerBest]

I don't even know what I hope to gain by posting this, I guess I just need to vent!

This morning I was sitting in a coffee shop with my DD who is 5 and has autism. She wasn't diagnosed until recently so I am trying to deal with everything and tbh I am struggling. However we go to this coffee shop every Friday and she always has the same thing - a kids hot chocolate with a marshmallow twirl thing.

Today however they had ran out of the marshmallows which DD was upset about but I was did my best to keep her calm and keep her preoccupied and did my best to prevent a meltdown. It worked for a while...I don't know if something else upset her but we had been sitting down for about five minutes when she suddenly started screeching loudly and banging her hands against the table.

I was doing my best to calm her down, really I was but she just wouldn't. I was about to take her outside to let her calm down there but then I noticed that the woman sitting opposite me was scrunching up her face and had her hands over her ears. I also saw her shoot a dirty look in DD's direction. She then put her coat on and left.

I did manage to calm DD down by taking her outside and we also managed to finish our drinks and food but for some reason I just couldn't get this woman out of my head.

Fine if you didn't like the noise but was there really any need for her to cover her ears, scrunch up her face and throw us a dirty look? The worst thing is is that I know she left because of DD because she left half of her sandwich and most of her drink. That just made me feel even shittier.

I know I should just forget about it but I am still upset by this and I have no idea why.

My child has autism, what was her excuse for being a rude cow?

Sorry, I am just venting I know, don't mind me .

If the OP comes back then I will .

I have sent her a PM.

We also teach DD that we can't understand her when she uses her whiny voice , which is slowly sinking in. We also now tell her to go upstairs and play if she's in a particularly screechy mood. Kind of a combination of making sure I can escape when it's happening but also trying very hard to nip it in the bud. Unfortunately from what I can tell a lot of girls seem to basically whine from 2-8 at least!

Agreed FayKorgasm, it is nice. My diagnosis is fairly recent and I'm having issues at work as a result with colleagues who don't really care and just think I'm odd. It's nice to know that some folk do get it.

There's nothing calm about my leaving! I dump (in safe place) and run (into the next room) then do breathing to calm down. When I was younger I was less controlled and punched a number of walls! Breathing techniques and concentrating on another non-provoking noise help.

Agreed FayKorgasm, I'm currently struggling with intolerant colleagues who don't seem to give a monkeys and it's nice that so many people would recognise this and be sympathetic

How do you cope if its your child?

You hand it to your very tolerant spouse most often... and get as far away as possible...

This will be the same spouse who understands you can never go to the cinema, theatre, most pubs, clubs, family restaurants, music venues, gigs...

That the TV is barely audiable and that you can only get on a train or plane with noise cancelling headphones. And that beaches, theme parks and most family orientated areas will also require some sort of earphones

Or that a beeping horn can give you a headache which will lie you low for a week.

It is very difficult even as a intelligent adult to stop that inital reflex and most of us know to get out as soon as possible for our own health. Which at the point you are suffering is more important to you then someone elses feelings

My mum cares for adults with autism and a few of them are very sensitive to sound.

They would have reacted the same as this woman.

I have ASD and I'm extremely sensitive to high-pitched sounds - screaming, sirens, alarms, even whistling cause intense physical pain in my ears, and I instinctively cover my ears with my hands to protect them.

I would've done exactly the same as the woman and left the cafe, regardless of whether I'd finished my food or not. I also don't care if people think it's rude - I am removing myself from a situation that causes physical distress.

I would hope that those calling the woman rude and a bitch will think twice in future and perhaps acknowledge that other people deserve the same respect and consideration that they expect for themselves.

Just read the updates.

Never mind. Feel like a tit now and going to hide for a bit.

May I bring up the subject of wearing hearing aids here? I wear them and high pitched noises are excruciating. I have to cover my ears. The only way the woman could get rid of the unpleasant noise was to remove herself from it.

PS I do understand about autism and Asperger's.

Don't worry about it AMumDoingHerBest. You weren't to know.

It's okay. It has been sorted .