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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DD to come off the mini pill and use something more reliable instead?

44 replies

MadMummyIsHere · 12/12/2014 14:23

First of all my DD is 17 so I know that it's up to her and she has to make her own decisions and it is up to her but at the end of the day I am still her mum and I will always worry about her.

DD has been on the mini pill for about a year now. She can't take the combined pill so when she went to the family planning clinic for contraception last year I was surprised when they put her on the mini pill instead. I would have thought they would have heavily pushed the implant or injection instead as I know they really do like to push those methods for teens anyway and also as the mini pill is even less reliable than the combined pill and has a smaller window of time in which you can take it. DD seems quite happy on it though.

However I can't help but worry. She is always busy as she is doing her A Levels and applying to university as well as keeping up with her hobbies so I'm constantly worried that she is going to forget to take it one day or take it too late.

I have brought up other methods with her several times but she always says she has looked into them and has talked about them with the nurse but they just don't appeal to her and she doesn't want them as she's happy with her pill.

I will sometimes have to nag her to make sure she has taken her pill that's why I'm worried.

OP posts:
IloveOreossx · 12/12/2014 14:24

Yabu. Her body, her choice.

museumum · 12/12/2014 14:25

Is she also using condoms? I would have at 17.

Original poster
MadMummyIsHere · 12/12/2014 14:25

I guess I realise that Ilove. I still worry though Sad.

OP posts:
Jasharps · 12/12/2014 14:26

Given the risk of STDs I would've thought she would be using condoms as well though?

Original poster
MadMummyIsHere · 12/12/2014 14:26

She tells me she always uses condoms. Not sure whether to believe her or not though.

OP posts:
SantyClaws · 12/12/2014 14:27

if she's anything like I was at her age she'll take it religiously as she'll be terrified of getting pg

she prob has an alarm on her phone to remind her to take it?

Theas18 · 12/12/2014 14:28

Her body her choice and desogestrel progesterone only pill is neck and neck with the combined pill for effectiveness ( agree older mini pills are less goid) whilst still having a 12hr window before it's late.

For a reliable pill taker it's a good contraceptive and it's safe.

My only concern would be lack of barrier protection. Chlamydia incidence among young people is really high.

Nomama · 12/12/2014 14:28

Why are you bothered? If she takes it every day at the same time she will have the same coverage as the combi pill.

Don't nag her, it is her body, she is 17 and she has chosen this method. If she went to FP then she has discussed the options and made her choice. They won't have just handed the packet of mini pills over without a discussion. She has told you she has discussed this with the experts but still you feel the need to know better.

If you were my mother I would have stopped talking to you by now!

YABVVU.

Original poster
MadMummyIsHere · 12/12/2014 14:31

Sorry I should have made it clearer in my OP. My point is she doesn't always remember to take it and I have to remind her. If I didn't remind her then she wouldn't take it I'm sure.

She's very bright but can be scatty and forgetful at times.

OP posts:
solidussnake · 12/12/2014 14:32

i stopped using them at 16, been with the same person since 17 so never had to worry about condoms, i'm on the combined pill, and its a wonder, but as you say a lot of people can't use it
i've thought about the coil, the implant, the injection... I'm alright with the pill, even though my mother insists on condoms. Personally if I was just having casual sex I'd use them but I find them disgusting so I wouldn't use them in my relationship at all.
its her choice.

flowery · 12/12/2014 14:38

How do you even know whether she's taken it or not? Confused

It wouldn't have occurred to me to discuss my contraceptive choices with my mother at her age, or think it was any of her business. It's fantastic she feels able to speak to you about these things, but I would be concerned that she may stop feeling that way if you nag her about her pill or try and persuade her to change.

Original poster
MadMummyIsHere · 12/12/2014 14:51

Because flowery she keeps her pills in the same cupboard where we keep the cereal. The idea of that was so that she would see them in the morning when she went for her breakfast and not forget them. Obviously that hasn't worked though as often I will have my breakfast after she has finished hers and I will see that she has not taken that day's pill. When I tell her she will always say "oh yeah, I forgot" or something similar, usually as she's about to head out of the house.

One morning about a month ago she was making her breakfast and she took her pill strip out of the cupboard only to realise that she had missed three day's worth.

I guess I'm also a bit surprised too. When I talked to her last year about how it might be a good idea for her to get on contraception I just wasn't expecting the mini pill.

OP posts:
AgathaF · 12/12/2014 14:58

Well, she's being sensible and using condoms as well so hopefully forgetting the odd one won't resultin a pregnancy. Perhaps suggest she sets a daily alarm on her phone so that she can remind herself.Or leave them with her toothbrush, or somewhere else where she is likely to see them, since the cereal cupboard idea isn't working well.

Other than that I think, you need to back off a bit and let her make her own contraception decisions, and her own contraception mistakes (although it hopefully won'tcome to that). I know that you worry, but she is an adult and her contraception choices are not really your business.

ilovepowerhoop · 12/12/2014 15:03

I used the mini pill for several years with no pregnancy scares. mine used to sit on the bedside cabinet and I would take it first thing in the morning.

fancyanotherfez · 12/12/2014 15:04

That does sound worrying. I would be concerned too. I became pregnant after missing a few days of the mini pill and I'm really old. 17 year olds are incredibly fertile. I'm not sure what you can do though, apart from talk to her about it again and point out how incredibly hard it will be if she does get pregnant and how much she may end up missing out on, just because she doesn't like the sound of other forms of contraception. Point out that you have had to remind her several times to take it. Get her to put an alert on her phone.

unweavedrainbow · 12/12/2014 15:11

Which mini pill? Cerazette/Cerelle have the same 12 hour window as the combined pill for taking it and are just as effective. They also only needs 3 days of extra contraceptive protection after missing a pill rather than the 7 days of the combined pill. As for the implant, Cerazette/Cerelle have the closest equivalent hormone mix to the implant of any of the pills, so women are often put on one of them to see if they get on with that combination before they try the more permanent implant. All in all, I just wanted to reassure you that Cerazette/Cerelle at least are pretty damn reliable-I've been on them for years with no scares. Regardless of all of that though, she's 17. She really ought to be making her own choices.

Siarie · 12/12/2014 15:17

I wouldn't want some of the other contraceptives either (implant or injection). At least with the pill you can stop taking it if doesn't react well with your body.

Suggest she sets up an alarm for it, that should be fine

Whatsthewhatsthebody · 12/12/2014 15:18

Hi op I know evactly how you feel. My dd cane to me at 15 and asked about contraception. She has a regular boyfriend and due to other circumstances she is very mature and sensible.

We both went to the GP and looked at all the options and she choose the implant.

It was fantastic for her to not have the worry of the pill ( she can't take it anyway) but is on other medication to control her periods which have got heavier.

Anyway of course you are allowed to worry ffs. She's your dd.

Personally I would reckoned the implant to her with conforms as it's as effective as a sterilisation and you can forget it for 3 years.

I wouldn't have dreamed of talking to my dm about such things as a teenager and got into all sort of trouble as a result.

I vowed my dds would always come to my first and am so glad I parented so they felt they could.

Whatsthewhatsthebody · 12/12/2014 15:21

Siarie you can have the implant removed easily and you must cease the injections. No different to stopping the pill.

The pill doesn't suit everyone.

SoonToBeMrsB · 12/12/2014 15:26

The implant completely messed me up for months and I had to beg the doctor to remove it. It was an absolute horror show from almost immediately after it was put in and I know several people who had similar experiences so I would never push someone to have it.

If she likes the mini pill then she'd probably like the injection, I switched from the mini pill to the depo and I've never looked back. No periods, no faffing about worrying about taking the pill.

In the end though, it's up to her.

Nomama · 12/12/2014 15:35

In the name of balance... I went from combi pill to depo and on to the implant - all went swimmingly, I like them all.

But it is up to her. No 17 year old girl SHOULD listen to mum's advice about contraception... and maybe she isn't taking it regularly because she isn't having sex.... just a thought, though no one's business but her own!

QueenTilly · 12/12/2014 15:37

MN would attest that getting the implant removed is not necessarily easy, and the injection is still LARC. You can't forget a tablet in the morning, but you can't decide to stop taking it one week because you're sick of a side-effect, either. You have to wait for the last injection to "wear off".

WineWineWine · 12/12/2014 15:38

I will sometimes have to nag her to make sure she has taken her pill that's why I'm worried

You're not helping her by reminding her. I know you are worried, but you really shouldn't be so involved.
Suggest that she sets up an alarm or puts her pills by her toothbrush.
She has got to learn to manage this completely by herself.

ChristmasDawndonnaagain · 12/12/2014 15:41

One of my dds can only take the mini pill. She uses condoms too.

LittleRedRidingHoodie · 12/12/2014 15:42

There's got to be an app which reminds you to take your pill. You're way too involved here.