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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this is neglect

66 replies

chakotay32 · 11/12/2014 21:27

My ex wife is saying she does not want our daughter 10, who has had emergency treatment twice in the last month for breathing difficulty and is asthmatic, to have the flu jab. The mother has said that there has been no letter from the doctors. When asked why she does not want DD to have the jab, she said "she is well right now and I don't want her to be sick over Christmas" I am horrified and don't know what I can do.

OP posts:
Waltonswatcher · 12/12/2014 07:21

I've had it for years with no side affects .
Why should your wife dictate ?
This is a joint issue .
Take her to the drs to discuss . No gp would advise against it , without good reason .

ArthurSHappeyChristmas · 12/12/2014 07:28

It isn't neglect but it's foolish in my opinion. If you are the child's other parent and share care if your child I'd take her yourself. Having said that when she tells her mum you may find your ex wife starts to get very funny regarding contact with your daughter.

ToastyFingers · 12/12/2014 10:56

It is a shame that you and your ex disagree on something you consider to be very important, but as you have PR and think it is important, why not just take her yourself?

As a person who suffered childhood neglect, I find your accusation quite offensive. I'm sure I'm not alone on that one either.

ChristmasMarketCrazy · 12/12/2014 12:04

Decaff I always had a flu jab growing up as my sister has CF, ,granted this was not in the UK but I got one last year from my doctor surgery as I was going home for Christmas and spending 3 weeks in the same house as her, there was no questions asked and I was given it immediately. if you can't get it for free I would spend the £10 and get it from a chemist.

facedontfit · 12/12/2014 14:18

My 10 year old who has asthma had the nasal spray, thought it hysterically funny and no problems after.

QueenTilly · 12/12/2014 14:33

Not neglect, as such. Your ex-wife believes the flu vaccination causes viral symptoms, so it's not that she's neglecting, it's that she's trying to avoid making your daughter ill. She's starting from an entirely different standpoint to you.

Now, if you want to use some other words, like say, blimming twonk, I won't quibble, seeing as I've seen no evidence for how it could make you ill, except anecdotal evidence of people getting a cold that week. During cold season. Amongst a population that includes people who are being vaccinated against flu because they are more likely to be susceptible to viruses as well as to develop complications.

differentkindofpenguin · 12/12/2014 14:38

The vaccine has no live virus so CAN'T give you the flu.

As others have said not neglect but bloody stupid. Sorry to be blunt, but flu kills, and your child is vulnerable already. I have no advice I'm afraid, but at 10 can she make her own decision if she has the facts presented to her in an age appropriate way?

Sidge · 12/12/2014 14:58

The nasal vaccine offered to under 18s is a live vaccine.

It can't give you flu but can cause mild flu-like symptoms as a side effect.

The injectable vaccine offered to under 2s and over 17s is NOT a live vaccine. It can't give you flu but can give you an achey arm and some mild flu-like symptoms.

Just to get the facts straight! Smile

QueenTilly · 12/12/2014 15:15

Props to Sidge for fact-checking! I was thinking of the injectable vaccine, and I hadn't even thought to check up on the nasal spray. Blush

Now we need the OP to come back and explain which one his daughter has been offered.

SoonToBeMrsB · 12/12/2014 16:37

My mum was ill for six weeks after her flu jag and ended up in hospital. I'm wary of getting it after that.

ItsGonnaBeCoolThisChristmas · 12/12/2014 16:40

HRWT but why not take her for the flu jab herself as you have PR?

I think for young children it's not even a jab but a nasal spray.

mimilovell · 08/01/2015 02:45

Have you thought about why your ex-wife might have come to that conclusion. People who choose not to take vaccines, usually have given it a lot of thought and a lot of time into reading about the dangers.

1st- vaccines were initially designed to be put into healthy human being, not a sick person. If you dont believe me, read up on on it yourself. Vaccines has never been tested on a sick person. When your sick your immune system is compromised, and so it is harder for this type of person to create antibodies easily to a vaccine.

the reason why not everyone get the flu jab is because there has not been one year where the manufactures have GUESSED the flu stain for that that year. It takes 6 months to make a vaccine, and by the time it is out, the virus has already mutated. This is the reason why every year it doesn't work. And there is not one document from the manufacturer to say they have guess it right. Just recently, the Centre of Disease Control apologised for the flu jab not working this year.

www.naturalnews.com/047890_flu_vaccines_CDC_apology_medical_fraud.html
Therefore, even if you hope the vaccine could protect your daughter, the health officals have already reported it wont.

There are others who say well I am not anti-vax but I wont rake the flu jab because there has been reports of death amongst healthy people.
Headlines such as "Ineffective Flu Shot be Causing More Severe Flu Outbreaks, Including Deaths - See more at: vaccineimpact.com/2015/could-the-ineffective-flu-shot-be-causing-more-severe-flu-outbreaks-including-deaths/#sthash.iZ6KA5fy.dpuf
vaccineimpact.com/2015/could-the-ineffective-flu-shot-be-causing-more-severe-flu-outbreaks-including-deaths/
Health girl 14years old dies aftrer flu shot - www.aol.com/article/2015/01/05/iowa-teenager-dies-days-after-flu-symptoms-appear/21124625/
Italy www.globalresearch.ca/flu-vaccine-kills-13-in-italy-death-toll-rises/5417407
Real life reports after receiving other vaccines not the flu one : thesnapmom.com/fighting-vaccine-battle-half-brain/

With all these reported problems with vaccines, I wouldnt vaccinate my sick child neither.

Lets put this in another way, because we have all grown to know vaccine as a lovely word. Now lets say your doctor sad.

Well, your daugther is ill at the moment, and we will inject her with the GUESSED genetically modified flu strain, which comes with ther known and unknown viruses and bateria. There are also other toxic chemicals in there, and if you look it up, EPA states there are no safe levels. In the 90s there was a public congressional hearing in the USA regarding mercury in the vaccines. After that hearing, they manufaturers agreed to remove or leave trace amounts of this toxic chemical out of childhood vaccines. Here is a clip from the hearing titled himerosal (mercury) in vaccines not tested since 1929. Oh and here is a video from University of Calgary showing how mercury kills brain neutrons, so if you have any nerve or brain problems in future, at least you know what happened. And just to let you know as a disclaimer, the flu vaccine contains this deadly chemical.
We havent had a year where the vaccine works, and there has been reports of deaths. Is it still okay, for us to test this substance on your child? If your doctor, put it to you this way, you wouldnt give your child any jabs.

Instituteofstudies · 08/01/2015 02:57

I would take her myself in your position. I had parents who wouldn't or couldn't take sensible decisions about my health and it has ruined my life. So I'm probably biased. But if your DD's GP and you think it is in her best interests to have the flu jab, I'd go ahead. Someone needs to do the right thing (if that has been deemed to be the right thing). I wish my Dad had challenged my Mum and sorted out my very sortable health problems.

bubblebabeuk · 08/01/2015 03:54

All three of my children have asthma, they always have the flu jab and now the spray since it became available. I booked them in before christmas as I do every year only to be contacted on the morning of the appointment to cancel and to be advised the computer system was not showing them as eligible, they thought it might be related to repeat prescriptions of steroids. Regardless of the fact that the younger two had been hospitalised due to their asthma in the previous 12 month period. This week I received letters for all demanding to know why they haven't had the flu jab yet...... bangs head against wall...?.

hestialou · 08/01/2015 07:17

My asthma is well controlled so decide not to have flu jab this year, but if I'd have had any attacks in past year I would have, and would get jab for child regardless

DreamingDiva13 · 08/01/2015 07:26

My dd doesn't qualify for having a flu jab at our doctors because she only has a blue inhaler for her asthma and has never needed a brown so far.

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