Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why this driver beeped his horn at me?

241 replies

HangingBasketCase · 10/12/2014 13:47

Driving home from work I decided to overtake a van in front of me that was going really slowly. It's a 60mph road but the van must have only been doing 40 at the very most, I was almost bumper to bumper with it and I was doing 40! So I waited for a long straight stretch of road that's known locally as the straight mile, indicated and overtook him. It was perfectly safe to do so, nothing was coming in the opposite direction, no double lines in the middle of the road, perfect driving conditions but for some reason the git started beeping his horn at me as I passed him! Then once I'd passed him I could see him shaking his head in my rear mirror!

Now I'm really questioning myself. I use this I road daily, I've been overtaken by other drivers on it myself, no problems. I was always under the impression that overtaking is perfectly legal as long as it safe to do so. Which from where I was sitting it was? What did I do wrong? I felt a bit intimidated if I'm honest, which probably sounds stupid. But there you go.

OP posts:
DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 10/12/2014 16:40

If the van had needed to brake suddenly, the OP would have gone into the back of him at 40mph. It probably wouldn't have ended well for her (OP might be a him though).

Also, it's difficult to see through a van to anticipate hazards on the road ahead so it's doubly stupid to drive "almost bumper to bumper"

Frusso · 10/12/2014 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thursday · 10/12/2014 16:48

Having someone drive up your arse is so distracting and intimidating. Never in the history of the world has it made someone speed up to please the frustrated driver. It makes me slow down, both as a screw you to the bully driver but also because the time spent looking in your mirrors at what the weirdo is doing means you need to slow down to be safe.

And I'm not a pootler, I do get frustrated with tourists who don't know the road. But I don't try and scare them off the road. 'Why was I beeped at?' Because you were driving badly 'nope, I'm perfect' thanks for asking.

GrandadGrumps · 10/12/2014 16:52

It's a 60mph road but the van must have only been doing 40 at the very most

It may be a 60 mph road in a car but in even a small van the NSL is only 50mph - and as has been said, it's a limit not a target.

Pyjamaramadrama · 10/12/2014 16:52

Sorry op but I'm with the others.

Tailgating is really dangerous and quite intimidating in itself, and the things that you've posted since do suggest that your driving might have been quite aggressive.

He may well have had a heavy load which meant that he couldn't drive any faster.

As for 10 years driving experience, it could be just good luck. My dp tailgates and hasn't ever gone into the back of anyone, but he will and I keep telling him so.

There are loads of reasons why people drive slowly, they could be lost, not know the road, something wrong with their vehicle, carrying a heavy load, weather conditions, something ahead which you can't see, they may even just be driving too slowly but you have to just be patient and drive safely.

memememum · 10/12/2014 16:54

When you leave more space in front it's easier to overtake anyway, as you can see further past the vehicle in front.

TinLizzie · 10/12/2014 17:05

YABU, and utterly selfish. How do you know why someone's driving at a particular speed? I recently had my very ill dad in the car, who shortly afterwards passed away, but I had to drive carefully and with more consideration because I was driving him home from hospital. If you'd rear-ended me in that situation because you were driving up my arse, I'd have ripped your head off. So... more dangerous for you than me.

TinLizzie · 10/12/2014 17:07

And good luck with finding another idiot who agrees with your driving "skills".

FourThingsAndALizard · 10/12/2014 17:20

If it's the road known as the straight mile near me (Shurlock Row/Billingbear) last time my boss drove down there a deer jumped out on her - luckily she was going at a reasonable speed because she knew that often happens - if she'd been going at 60 she'd probably be dead.

madasa · 10/12/2014 17:33

Why does your 'need to get home' trump his right to be safe/alive?

I drive many miles during the course of the week and there's barely a day goes past that I don't encounter an idiot like you on the road.

Do us all a favour and use public transport.

prh47bridge · 10/12/2014 17:37

if you have a slow coach in front of you what do you do

You stay a reasonable distance behind them and overtake them when you can. You do not tailgate under any circumstances ever. At best it is aggressive behaviour. At worst it is downright dangerous. You have no idea how the driver in front will react. They may do nothing, they may slow down or it could turn into a road rage incident. Tailgating also leads to increased fuel consumption, increased break wear and a greater risk of stone chips on the bonnet, roof and front windscreen.

Being 20mph below the speed limit is not "taking the piss". There are roads near me which have a 60mph speed limit where I wouldn't dream of going over 40mph as it simply wouldn't be safe.

I'm sorry but I agree with others on this thread. From the description you have given you drove poorly and possibly illegally. You should maintain a 2 second gap with the car in front regardless of what you think of their speed.

misskangaandroo2014 · 10/12/2014 17:41

You have no idea why the van was sticking to 40. You tailgated, that puts the onus on the front vehicle to remain at a speed low enough that if they are forced to brake you have sufficient time to stop too.
What you have described falls under careless driving which falls under on the spot penalties should you be stopped:

www.gov.uk/government/news/new-penalties-to-tackle-tailgating-and-middle-lane-hogging

FryOneFatManic · 10/12/2014 17:42

What a bunch of toss. I'd agree tailgating is massively dangerous on a motorway or even at the 60 speed limit on other roads.
Hardly a danger at 10 miles an hour and people frequently drive with less than a 2 second gap at 40.

I drive on the M1 every work day, at rush hour both ways. And the number of near misses I see due to tailgating is unbelieveable. And given it's rush hour on the M1, the average speed is around 40 miles per hour and often less.

People driving at 40 mph with less than a 2 second gap are still driving stupidly.

I now leave a larger gap than before (and I left a good gap before) because of bitter experience of the stupid drivers around here. So far, so good, so I'll continue to leave big gaps.

FryOneFatManic · 10/12/2014 17:46

Okay, that first bit was meant to be bold as a quote, but I'm sure you get the idea...

ApocalypseNowt · 10/12/2014 18:23

I don't tailgate in any event because i'm not a twunt but if I see another car driving in a manner I don't think is consistent with the conditions (i.e. too slowly, too fast, swerving about) I make extra sure to keep the hell away from them - they could be pissed for all i know. I'd be even less likely to drive 'bumper to bumper'.

MagratGarlik · 10/12/2014 18:26

I drive 400-500 miles per week, don't go over the speed limit and frequently seem to attract tailgater's, usually on roads with a 40mph limit, but the twat behind thinks should be driven at 60mph.

The engine is in the back of my car. This means if the tailgater's end up in the back of me, they will run straight into my engine. Still, better that they risk a potentially serious accident by driving right up my bumper (whilst usually on the phone or texting) in order to get home 2 mins quicker, eh? Hmm

Yarp · 10/12/2014 18:32

OP

If you felt frustrated and you were driving close then you were not driving safely.

I went on a safety awareness driving course a while back. It was really excellent. Got us all to think about our joint responsibility towards each other..
The other driver should not have got angry and beeped, but I see his point.

Yarp · 10/12/2014 18:39

Apocalypse

Me too. I just back right off

BlackeyedSantaStuckUpAChimney · 10/12/2014 18:45

some arse rear ended me. I have ended up needing physio and was in considerable pain for quite a while. the children missed some school as we were sitting in the hospital until 12am. my car was written off and I had to find money to replace it. (in addition to the insurance) new car seats have had to be purchased and I have done a tonne of paperwork and stress. all because some arse did not leave enough stopping room. think yourself lucky you got away with a beep and a head shake.

GarlicGiftsAndGlitter · 10/12/2014 18:45

a small van the NSL is only 50mph

I never knew that! MN - a constant learning experience :)

GarlicGiftsAndGlitter · 10/12/2014 18:53

I remember watching somebody 'frog-hopping' up ahead on a motorway. That one vehicle slowed down all the other traffic, because everyone behind it wanted to stay behind, out of their way, and everyone in front slowed down in order to minimise the damage when the idiot caused a pile-up.

That driver probably thought she was on a motorway full of annoying slowbies - until the cops pulled her over. As we passed her & the flashing lights on the hard shoulder, all the drivers were giving each other the thumbs-up Grin

Pyjamaramadrama · 10/12/2014 18:53

according to this the speed limit for vans carrying under 7 tonnes is 50mph, I did not know this but it explains a lot.

Mandatorymongoose · 10/12/2014 18:57

I hate tailgating too OP. I was on my way to work this morning and some idiot insisted on driving at 20 in a 40 limit.

So I had no choice but to leave a good distance between my car and his and drive at 20 too until I had a chance to safely overtake. Even though it was very frustrating and I was already running late.

Because I actually do hate tailgating.

Vycount · 10/12/2014 19:02

I regularly drive a small van, a practical little high-sided thing. As said above, for me the NSL is 10 mph slower than in a car, so would have been 50 mph. Add to that some high wind and bad weather, if it's unloaded I might well also drive at 40 mph. In those circumstances it's a good idea to drive a bit slower. Op, you were really driving like an idiot, and if you think that you should be driving on the bumper of the vehicle in front just because they are slower than you want to go seriously... go on some refresher lessons. You are one of the most dangerous type of bad driver on the road.

CatsClaus · 10/12/2014 19:03

some tailgating twat nearly offed me the other day... suddenly decided he thought he'd over take from so close to the lorry in front I had barely noticed him tucked in behind

luckily I did, and he decided against risking it and pulled back in.

don't be that person! and go look up the two second rule.