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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why this driver beeped his horn at me?

241 replies

HangingBasketCase · 10/12/2014 13:47

Driving home from work I decided to overtake a van in front of me that was going really slowly. It's a 60mph road but the van must have only been doing 40 at the very most, I was almost bumper to bumper with it and I was doing 40! So I waited for a long straight stretch of road that's known locally as the straight mile, indicated and overtook him. It was perfectly safe to do so, nothing was coming in the opposite direction, no double lines in the middle of the road, perfect driving conditions but for some reason the git started beeping his horn at me as I passed him! Then once I'd passed him I could see him shaking his head in my rear mirror!

Now I'm really questioning myself. I use this I road daily, I've been overtaken by other drivers on it myself, no problems. I was always under the impression that overtaking is perfectly legal as long as it safe to do so. Which from where I was sitting it was? What did I do wrong? I felt a bit intimidated if I'm honest, which probably sounds stupid. But there you go.

OP posts:
Number3cometome · 10/12/2014 15:26

I've got a driving lesson on Friday.

I'm betting someone tries to do that to me.

pictish- Number3 sorry but on this occasion your kind understanding is misplaced. People who drive like the OP cost actual lives. She needs told, and sharply. Agreed - point taken.

Tsoukalosy - Number i see your point on aibu but i think OPs bad attitude has lead to stronger responses on this thread
Also agree.

OP, just admit you were hot headed and move on.

Otherwise you are likely to get blasted.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 10/12/2014 15:27

I've learnt that too HSM. You need to double your stopping distance effectively.

'Only a fool breaks the two second rule, four if the weather's poor' is a really good thing to remember. Say it while you're driving as the first part takes about two seconds to say and is a useful test as to whether you are driving too close.

The van driver might have been at work and have received driver training. A lot of companies provide extra training for their drivers because it makes their insurance cheaper. The other reason is that in a large company where people drive a lot for work, chances are they will lose someone in an accident while driving for work in any year Sad.

pictish · 10/12/2014 15:30

And not to be mawkish either, but who usually sits in the back of the car that Mrs Tailgater will eventually slam into?
Quite.

BrereRabbit · 10/12/2014 15:30

Number I see your point too, but I don't think people are responding the way they are to OP just for the sake of it.
The motorway near me has pile ups on a daily basis. If I thought I could change the attitude of just one of the drivers causing just one of those crashes (sometimes fatal) then I would. Driving like that, if OP took some responsibility and maybe a drivers awareness course or IAM course then the maximum potential is that someone's life could be saved. But she does not see she's in the wrong. She doesn't know who she may hit one day, it could be fatal, people could be left with life changing injuries and have to live with the consequences but she is choosing to act the way she does and not to accept when it's dangerous.

May I point out to op that winter is coming. There will be ice on the roads /water/frost and depending on if somebody's car has been repaired more recently than yours, If they are a safe driver and have had brakes done for winter they may well be sharp. I hope your brakes are well maintained and sharp enough to stop as the weather changes and temp affects your tyres otherwise you could find yourself in the back of the van next time.

It's not worth it for the sake of a few extra seconds to your journey is it?

BrereRabbit · 10/12/2014 15:36

Pictish.. That's the awful truth. It's intimidating driving. There are a lot of country lanes near here and I recently got a plain bright yellow "baby on board" sign to remind people behind me not to get too close. Sadly, it doesn't put people off. Not even when it was dark wet and windy last night Envy . It's not the safest place to place a child in the front, so you put them in the back hoping the people behind you won't endanger their lives.

VitalStollenFix · 10/12/2014 15:36

outofcontrol2014 - different respondents, probably. That's generally the reason when different threads that appear similar get different replies. It's different people replying.

Number3cometome · 10/12/2014 15:38

BrereRabbit you make exceptionally good points - If I were OP I would be far more inclined to listen to your sensible explanation and reasoning as you put it in a very adult way. It is clear to understand from your reasoning why it is dangerous.

I'm kind of glad I have read this now, being a learner it is good to understand people's points on the issue and also tips.

VitalStollenFix · 10/12/2014 15:38

you know. I read that back and it sounds really bitchy Blush I wasn't being spiteful, honestly Grin I just meant that it really is that simple. It's just different people. It's really not about age or anything, just who happens to see a particular thread.

Corabell · 10/12/2014 15:39

OP you are an absolute treat.

The opinion of posters is overwhelming and your arrogance and self righteousness is also overwhelming.

You were in the wrong. Suck it up.

PS everyone on the road needs to get somewhere. You won't get home if you cause an accident by dangerous driving, will you?

BlueberryWafer · 10/12/2014 16:00

No I didn't put my hazard lights on because my vehicle was moving and I wasn't causing a block in the road if warning of a hazard ahead... I was simply having to drive slightly slower than normal because I couldn't get into fourth gear! I think you need to brush up on your Highway Code if you don't even know what hazard warning lights are for. I would normally only drive 40-45 on a country road anyway and I live in the country,

Abra1d · 10/12/2014 16:07

*BrereRabbit Wed 10-Dec-14 15:36:02
Pictish.. That's the awful truth. It's intimidating driving. There are a lot of country lanes near here and I recently got a plain bright yellow "baby on board" sign to remind people behind me not to get too close. Sadly, it doesn't put people off. *

Is it OK to tailgate you if you have an old person or dog in your car?

LoisHatesChristmas · 10/12/2014 16:11

The police will pull you over for tailgating. Its dangerous op, surley you must see that? Is this a reverseConfused

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 10/12/2014 16:18

OP in your posts you have listed numerous things that are responsible for a large number of road accidents.

Tailgaiting
'Needing to get home'
Frustration for driving under the speed limit

He peeped you because YOU were driving dangerously! Why can't you accept that?

IT WAS YOU FAULT

Christ!

loveareadingthanks · 10/12/2014 16:21

If nothing else OP, don't tailgate for your own safety.

You have no idea what will suddenly happen to that vehicle in front of you.

I've avoided several nasty accidents because I was far enough behind to stop. 3 cars in front of me all skidding on something on the road and having a mini pile up that I managed to just stop behind. I've had a mattress come flying at my car off the back of a pick up truck. I've had the car in front of me have a sudden tire blow out and lose control of their vehicle and swerve off the road. If I'd been a car length closer in any of those I think I'd have been in an accident.

A friend had a nasty accident when the driver of the car in front of her passed out at the wheel (illness, not drunk or anything).

I will not risk my own safety by driving too close to any other vehicle, ever.

revealall · 10/12/2014 16:21

What a bunch of toss. I'd agree tailgating is massively dangerous on a motorway or even at the 60 speed limit on other roads.
Hardly a danger at 10 miles an hour and people frequently drive with less than a 2 second gap at 40.

And what the fuck is tailgating anyway? Some of you sound in a right tizz about a car that is just ..well behind you.

Tsoukalosy · 10/12/2014 16:24

Are you serious?

And what the fuck is tailgating anyway? Some of you sound in a right tizz about a car that is just ..well behind you.
Are you being deliberately obtuse?
You can't see how dangerous it is? and just because people frequently do it does not make it safe or legal!

wigglylines · 10/12/2014 16:26

OP, honestly, can't you see that driving too close is a problem?

What you going to do if the driver brakes suddenly? (e.g. if an animal jumps in front of the car).

And you don't get anywhere any faster by driving closer to the car in front. You just risk your life and health, and theirs.

QuinnTwinny · 10/12/2014 16:27

I hate this attitude of people, thinking that everyone should be driving right up at the speed limit! The week before my driving test my instructor did a mock test with me, part of the route I had never been on. The reason for him doing this was because there was a 40 zone with a blind corner and tiny bridge right after it. If you hadn't been on the road you wouldn't have known and could potentially have had an accident if going the speed limit. People need to just have some patience when driving. Cars are big, heavy machines; riling people up when in one does nobody any favours.

BrereRabbit · 10/12/2014 16:30

Abra... Obviously not Hmm . I think I've made my point that it's dangerous regardless of circumstance.
What I was saying in my post though is that when you have a baby in your back seat and someone is tailgating you like that, it is more intimidating.

It doesn't make it any more or less ok! I'm just saying as the person being tailgated, I feel Intimidated regardless but there is definitely added fear when your pfb is sitting in the back. It's not more or less right, but as the other driver it makes me more angry that there isn't even consideration for that. whether that's right or wrong. Either way, tailgating anybody is just as dangerous as the next car. (I know I ramble, I really struggle to get points across with speech ect)

sanfairyanne · 10/12/2014 16:31

ha. if you lived in one of the 'cash for crash' hotspots you would stop tailgating pronto. a 10mph rear-end crash would suit some people just fine.'ow my neck' etc etc. compensation here we come

op, you were obviously getting on his nerves driving up his arse.

bonkersLFDT20 · 10/12/2014 16:32

You're wrong basket so best admit it now. If he was going 40, how could you be practically stopped?

And no, if you're in a 30 zone you don't have to do 30, that is the maximum limit.

You sound dangerous tbh.

crumblebumblebee · 10/12/2014 16:35

revealall clearly, your reading of the post revealed nothing because the van was doing 40 mph. People like you who think that, just because people tailgate/speech/whatever frequently, that it's acceptable are the biggest liabilities on the road.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/12/2014 16:36

Revealall - tailgating is driving too close behind the vehicle in front. If you could not stop in time, if the vehicle in front of you has to brake suddenly, you are tailgating. If you could stop in time, you are following the vehicle, but not tailgating - do you see the difference?

Oh, and people get in a tizz about tailgating because it can cause accidents.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 10/12/2014 16:37

As others have said, he beeped at you because you were driving right up his arse before overtaking.

Abra1d · 10/12/2014 16:37

Baby on board signs are something I see we've discussed on MN before so no point in hijacking thread and I will shut up now!.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1025405-to-hate-car-stickers-saying-Baby-on-Board

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