to feel cheated that you can't actually have it all?

[ChocolateOrangeInASantaHat]

Many moons ago I was educated in a fantastically positive school, where as females we were taught that we could achieve anything a male could achieve and that if we worked hard enough and planned well enough, we could 'have it all' in life.

So now, with my collection of letters after my name, respectable job, 2 usually well-behaved children, lovely husband and a multitude of lists to keep life running smoothly, I'm slowly realising that it doesn't matter how hard I work or how meticulously I plan, unless I steal a bloody tardis I still can't have it all.

Feeling particularly bitter as was up all night with poorly child, who I then left with a relative to not miss work today (=feeling like rubbish mother) and then as I'd had no sleep I was not very productive at work (=also feeling like rubbish employee). Since others at my level are generally male and tend to have stay at home wives, this kind of feeling inadequate at both home and work doesn't tend to occur for them.

Honestly feeling like I should advise daughter to either:
a) marry rich man, get good prenup and focus on children/household or
b) be career driven and marry man who is happy to stay at home and focus on children/household.

AIBU to feel cheated that I can't 'have it all'? (NB in case lost in my sleep-deprivedness this is a --partially- tongue-in-cheek AIBU)

[Want2bSupermum]

Oh and our new place has multiple bathrooms. He has his own and I have not touched it. The toilet is foul as he hasn't cleaned the room since October when we moved in. A guest used it over the weekend and made a comment to me about me cleaning it. I told the stupid wife that it is my husbands bathroom and he can clean his own shit. I have my bathroom plus the house to keep. She was a little taken aback as was I. This girl is my age and Danish. So much for their women being equal. I wanted to shake her.

[Greengrow]

I don't think I have ever socialised with anyone so unfeminist they expect women to clean and not men! It is as if I live in a different world. Poor you.

[Want2bSupermum]

Socialize is the right term. I have nothing in common with her. She is studying part time and not working. I was working full time with DD on the way taking credits and CPA exams. Wasn't expecting to get pregnant with DS (not that we were trying for DD either) and finished off my exams and got a job against DH's wishes when 7 months pregnant. DH didn't want me to work in big 4 because of the hours but honestly everywhere is the same here in the US. I don't know anyone in New York apart from DH who isn't working at least 50 hours a week.

[abouttobeevicted]

please don't be mean to green grow/ Xenia.

I've been on this site for over 9 years and an early post of hers inspired me.
why should I do the crap job why should my dh do the good one.
I'm now the breadwinner on £80/90k he is now a sahd.
I luvvs greengrow