To think my PILs are total idiots?

[19lottie82]

My DHs parents rent a house with a large shed that hey have converted into a small stable block which they in turn rent to a woman so her horses can be kept there at night, there are no other equestrian facilities there.

His parents, well DF in particular has a bit of a history of being selfish and not really thinking about the consequences of things. They have two other children who are NC for various reasons and my DH does lots for them, going out of his way all the time, which IMO they never really seem to appreciate.

Anyway. DH has two girls DSD10 and DSD14, who live with us half the time and their mother half the time. We stay about 8 miles away and their mother 3 miles away from the PILs.

FIL calls DH last night, can you come round tomorrow after work? Why asks DH. Oh we've bought DSD10 a PONY, it's just been delivered and we want to give it to her! WTAF?

First off DH is absolutely fuming no one spoke to him about this and that aside the practicalities include

1. DSD has never shown anything more than a general ten year olds interest in riding. She likes to ooh and ah when we see horses, but has only been for three lessons in her whole life. She does not know how to ride a pony or care for one. (Neither do my PILs) she has no clue about safety related matters nor does she own any equipment.

2. she already goes to dance classes which take up two nights a week 5-830 and all day Saturday.

3. neither us, or her mum stay within walking distance of the PILs, so do they expect us to run her to and from it twice a day maybe more? PILs will not assist with this, I know this for a fact.

4. the house that they rent is far too big for the PILs and ey constantly talk about giving it up and buying a small bungalow as my PIL is VERY overweight and is finding the stairs more and more of a struggle all the time. What will happen to the pony then?

5. the PILs have said they will cover the costs of keeping the pony but tbh I don't think they appreciate how much this will amount to! FIL is not short of a bob or two but he is known for getting very irate at the cost of things, and I think he will be in for a nasty shock.

We think the woman who owns the two horses who are kept there at night may have agreed to help a bit, but the situation is still totally ridiculous. Due to my husbands work and the fact that time is split 50/50 with their mother and the girls dancing we don't get enough quality time with the girls as it is, making multiple 18 mile trips every weekend we have the kids, just won't work.

When DH asked his parents what they were thinking and said it was a bad idea his DF called him all the names under the sun, accused him of not caring about his daughter and said its here now, it can't go back.

I'm just speechless. How can they even think for one second that this is a good idea?

Please tell us we ANBU!

When I had my barn converted to a field shelter for the ponies, I had to apply for planning permission (for change of use from agricultural to equestrian).
I'm wondering if your FIL got planning permission from the council to convert their shed to stables? If not, maybe a little tip-off to the council might be in order.

As far as safety goes, I had a bad fall earlier this year (while the horse was standing still!) and ended up strapped to a back board and in A&E. I was wearing a very good hat which cracked in the fall, and a body protector. Those bits of safety equipment cost over £300 to buy but they made the difference between me sitting up in the A&E cubicle, complaining about how I wanted to go home, and being in surgery or worse, the morgue. IMO safety equipment is not optional, especially for children who do not always have an eye out for risky ventures.

I would be extremely worried about this pony. Ponies are clever and cunning, and WILL take advantage of the inexperienced to get their own way. Quite often, this results in someone getting hurt.

yoshi has a point - planning permission would be needed for such a change of use.

Sounds completely ill-thought out on their part. Never too late to learn a lesson though!!

And they will, believe me - a pony is not just for christmas...

Apologies, I missed the bit where the mother supported the pony idea. I did read the while thread, just carelessly I guess. Hate it when I do that.

So...the mother should sort it!

As a horse owner for the last 30 years, I find this terrifying.

A child, beginner rider needs a very specifically trained,bombproof mount. Is there any proof this pony is one?

You mentioned a lack of equine facilities. Will said pony have sufficient turn out? If not, it may become dangerous to handle on the ground ( if indeed it is child safe now).

If it has too much/ too little turnout, your dd may see it succumb to the horrors of colic or laminitis.

How could you PIL put your dd into such a potentially dangerous or heartbreaking situation? Mind boggling!

That poor pony.

There are some fucking idiots in the world.

Oh gosh, OP, you are very far from being unreasonable.

Apart from anything else, the cost of keeping a pony can be tremendous. Who is going to meet that?

it is very thoughtless of them.

World Horse Welfare will probably be much more useful than the RSPCA.

I only loan a horse, and she takes up a huge amount of my time. Four times a week with at least two or three hours a visit... And I am lucky that I have had the support of fellow horse people around me, plus I have been riding her for at least two years so havd a fairly good idea of what I was getting in to... Plus use of the yard's facilities. As another poster put, where is she actually going to ride said pony, and how often? And it's cold and dark at the moment, which means that an equine requires dedication... As a lot of people have said, I feel sorry for the pony. When does it arrive? And who will be there to settle it in? They take a long time to adjust to a change in routine and if your dsd has hardly ridden then that is not going to help things...

Oh my god, it's all so ridiculous, I really feel for you and I genuinely can't believe it. Who in their right mind would make alterations to a rented house, get a wood burner installed without permission, change a shed into stables, lease them out for money (I'm assuming - rental agency, change of use - planning permission and inland revenue) and get a pony for the granddaughter. I'm struggling at 40 years old with a dalmatian puppy!! Stay out of this one - I'm absolutely lost for words!!