To ask whether it's 'ok' not to go to your work christmas party?

[stripeysoup]

I haven't been in my new job that long, don't know many people in the company and tend to get nervous in circumstances like this unless I've had a drink. I'm on medication at the moment which means that I can't drink very much without losing all inhibitions and coming out with embarrassing remarks (I know this from experience - they don't seem embarrassing when drunk but I cringe when I remember them the morning after!).

I decided not to go to the Christmas party because of the above, but I've had a few comments since asking why I didn't go. I'm not a very good lier unfortunately so didn't want to make up an elaborate excuse that would come back and bite me later - I just said that I had other plans.

Now I've got the impression that a few people think I'm snobby/rude/anti-social and have actively avoided me since.

Is it unacceptable not to go to your work christmas party without a cast iron excuse? Has anyone else not gone to their work christmas party and how did you get out of it?

I'm not going to mine. It would end up costing around £50 and I won't be able to drink due to driving. I don't particularly enjoy being sober while other people get drunk and obnoxious, and would rather spend that money on an event with friends or family. I don't see work colleagues as friends, even though I like most of them

Senior manager used to get a bit funny with me when I politely declined the invitation. In fact she used to make me take holiday time when the other's didn't. It was worth it though to avoid the politics, different camps and fall outs which went with the "party" atmosphere. Don't worry about it, at least you are not worrying about who you have drunkenly or otherwise, offended.

I didn't go to the first Christmas party (last week) which was for the local office, and am not going to the full group do later this week. All paid for, but frankly there are still costs round babysitting, and I would rather spend time outside of work with my children than with work colleagues!

I've not been to a Christmas do in years, but then it is also incredibly rare that I go to any social gathering involving work... Partly cos I am painfully shy in social situations, and find it hard to keep the "brave" act up, and partly, because I would rather be snuggled on the sofa with the kids.

I think it often depends on size of company. Previous company we were 24 people, it was a real boozy bonding evening & if I hadn't gone people would have thought I was uppity. Current company I have made 1 out of 4 as they tend to be on my Dad's birthday weekend (last Friday before Christmas) and we have to stay over or get an extortionate taxi - and this year I also had childcare issues. But company is much larger and people tend to just say "oh that's a shame!" and not worry about it.

Bake them something/ buy some chocolates to make up for it

I was really looking forward to ours - I don't get to see much of some of my colleagues and I thought it was going to be a great opportunity to have a chat.

But now my boss has decided that we're going to have an 'awards ceremony' with a long list of cringey awards ('Best Looking Female/ Biggest Gossip etc.) and has forced all the managers to do a turn in the talent show. And the wearing of either a Santa Hat or Christmas jumper will be mandatory. So we'll mostly be sitting there in silence, listening to him chuntering on into his microphone and won't get a chance to just relax and chat.

And it's an afternoon thing so I can't plead childcare issues.

I've loaded up a new book onto my Kindle to take into the loos with me......

I like my colleagues but am seriously skint this year, so I went to the early bird dinner (paid for by co) and pleading onset of illness (bad head cold) skipped out before the drunken piss up in the pub afterwards.

No hangover, wallet still has a few quid left, no stress about what I might have said while tiddly!

We have a couple of nice lunches out this week paid for by company too (neither are Christmas related) so am not feeling left out of the social whirl. Win-win!

I never go. When invited I say "oh I can't do that day,! Have a fabulous time" . And I don't explain any further.

Is my idea of a living nightmare.

I have enjoyed them in the past. However you should never feel obliged to go. I have been subject to snidey comments in the past for not attending. Mostly from people who were the reason I didn't want to go in the first place. I have had a nasty boss who made attendance compulsory! I mean you would have to go and give her a very good reason why not with lots of aggressive talk from her about being a team player, committed etc. Mind you, she was a psychopath.

I once told a colleague that the reason that I wasn't going was because I'd "rather spend the time with my real friends"

I realise this was terribly rude but everyone that worked there was hateful and he was the biggest wanker of the lot so it was worth it to see the look on his gormless face