to find onlookers infuriating.

[Unclearpath]

I'm still reeling from an earlier event, so my emotions may be running high.

I'm just so angry that so many unacceptable incidents occur in public and no one steps in to help.

I've just been followed back to my car and verbally abused while holding my child because I stood up to group of people- legally adults but clearly children- who kicked off and began screaming at a shop assistant- because she asked them not to eat another food chains food on their premises. The diner was sat under a sign that reiterated this. Not one other person stood up for her and the management, when finally arrived, did not do enough to protect his staff member as far as I'm concerned. I also let rip to him privately I his office after, I was disgusted. There were plenty of other people who just sat and gawped as this poor women cowered in the corner being aggressively shouted at.

Several people passed my child and I on the way back to the car- did one person stop to show support given the gang of loud and abusive people following us? Did they hell.

How can you just walk past it. I hate confrontation, I hate injustice even more. I've seen it so many times. Fights erupting and women being hit by their husbands for example. And yet no one helps. I understand sometimes it's not safe, so then call the bloody police at least.

Rant over.

Some absolutely idiotic responses on here.

People respond in many ways and it dosnt mean they are cowards if they don't get themselfs involved in a fight, burning house or jump in to save some one drowning.

The 'I don't care if I lose my life while trying to rescue a random stranger' is madness. How do you think your children and family would feel? Surely the idea that you were 'brave' would be over shadowed by the lifetime of bereavement and loss.

Have ago heros make the situation worse all the time. There is a difference between going to seek professional help and making the situation worse glory hunting and then running home to MN for stealth boasting.

How I react depends on whether I have my kids with me.

I am very selfish when it comes to my kids.

I do get involved if they are not there. But if they are my immediate concern is removing them. Everyone else is on their own.

I haven't seen many of the Cornish swimmers, who survived, on mumsnet, lately. But, then maybe I haven't been looking hard enough!

OP, good on you

Yanbu to expect someone to help you. It is because this kind of disgusting anti social behaviour goes unchecked that it continues...

Well they are not likely to are the dora if they are dead. But at least their families can read about how brave they are in the local rag.

I did say the ones who survived. You can point out their mumsnet stealth boasts for me, though.

I haven't seen any posts titled ' just saved a child/dog/cat from drowning - god I hate spectators ' but when I do I'm PM you to let you know.

The point is, people who do not fling themselves in to danger are not cowards. The same could be said for have a go heroes - stupid, irresponsible, irrational.

Do you think the fire brigade enjoy having to go look for another person that wasn't even in the house to begin with, or life guards having to search fir two dead bodies instead of one?

If you like to be in the middle of drama that's fine but you shouldn't expect others to or call them cowards.

OK, I'll be waiting.

And where would you draw the line?

What if your child died attempting to rescue some one? A total stranger or some body's dog, a ball? What if the casualty survived but your child didn't. Would you be ok with that because your child was a 'hero'? Or like the poster above who dh punched A man the face because because he was attacking a woman. What if that punch was fatal and it killed him. I suppose you would be happy with him sitting in prison fir the next seven years while you were losing your home and your dc could only see their df once a week, but hey he was a have a go hero so it's ok

Dora

I have scars from being a "have a go hero", do you have anything other than keyboard warrior calluses?

In a forum people talk. That's what a forum is. You might also have hairy forearms. But, I don't want to know about them!

Dora

You may not want to talk scars or hairy forearms but where are your credentials to call someone a coward when you haven't stepped in yourself?

It is very easy to say what you would do when a situation occurs but its a completely different thing to be able to actually do it.

Who says that I haven't?

My objection is to people promoting cowardice under the guise of responsibility.

What I'm saying to people is, if you're a coward, fine. Be one. But, for God's sake, stop trying to promote is as some sort of virtue.

I'm another one who was physically hurt when I intervened in a situation that had got out of control several years back.

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again but I would very carefully weigh it up first. A few gobby teenagers in a fast food joint probably wouldn't merit my intervention.

These are going cheap on ebay dora

Dore

Do you think that it it particularly virtuous to leave behind a wife, husband, children, parents?

Are these people cowards for thinking of their family first?

You're being goady, Dora, and you know it. I wonder why you'd do that really? Did you miss an opportunity to save somebody, feel badly about that (or relieved) and therefore need to lash out a bit, needle on a forum?

I think people are generally nice and kind and will do what they can to help others. Sometimes they miss doing that but given that things can happen in split seconds and people don't always react that fast then it's not always borne from cowardice or not wanting to help.

People who always see the worst in others are rarely disappointed although they often disappoint others I reckon.

I'm totally with you OP. If I assess the risk as minimal to my child I would totally do what you did and call the police if I felt intimidated.

Good on you, I would guess the people saying you were irresponsible are the gawping bystanders you talk about.

"I would guess the people saying you were irresponsible are the gawping bystanders you talk about."

Alternatively they have been through it or lost somebody to it, but its good to generalize.

Has anybody, but anybody read the things posted by me, truffle and a couple of others? That often it's not a decision but a psychological phenomenon? That we are wired NOT to intervene. Even the most compassionate, altruistic, selfless, kind person, is a slave to their psychology and the vast majority of people will not intervene. It's not a conscious decision. There was a thing in the news a few years ago where a man walked calmly into a building and attacked people one by one. He killed many people. He didn't run at them, he didn't chase them. They sat and waited to die. They froze and if you're telling me that people are on the whole selfish, gormless, spineless and cowardly and only care about number one, at the very least you'd expect those people to run the feck away. But they don't and didn't. Because they're human beings and experiences outside of the ordinary cause them to behave in ways you wouldn't want or expect.

Of course feel free to carry on name calling and wringing your hands about society but the simple fact is, that you can't reduce this down to a rational process. Some people are cowards. Some are selfless. Most fall in the middle of a spectrum. How we behave in the situations described tell you nothing about where on this spectrum you fall.

DoraGora
Would be rescuers die all the time. Look at Cornwall. There are endless stories about people dying attempting to rescue dogs who climbed out of the water unaided.

The point is, heroes are heroes and look after number 1 cowards are just that.

I know which one I'd rather be. You look in your own mirrors.

You seem to have no concept of risk evaluation, yet you are still alive. I think we can all reasonably conclude you have done no heroic rescues yourself.

You talk tough behind a keyboard, but I'm willing to bet your job is a safe cushy one with no risks. It's all very convenient to take liberties with other people's lives while you sit safely on the sidelines.

Are you a fire fighter, or a rescue worker who does save people? Why not? You seem so adamant about saving people.

Until you get into rescue work, you're talking out your ass and deciding people are cowards for basically not committing suicide is the stupidest shit I've ever read naive.

You can conclude whatever you like based on text in an internet forum!

This thread isn't about committing suicide. It's about doing bugger all when a staff member is being threatened in a cafe! If people want to make themselves feel big about being spineless jellies, then that's their affair.

This thread isn't about committing suicide. It's about doing bugger all when a staff member is being threatened in a cafe! If people want to make themselves feel big about being spineless jellies, then that's their affair.

Nice try on switching the subject, but your post specifically said "Would be rescuers die all the time. Look at Cornwall. There are endless stories about people dying attempting to rescue dogs who climbed out of the water unaided" and other posts are glorifying people who throw their lives away.

Go into rescue work, and we may continue this conversation.