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AIBU?

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Original poster

Claridges Breastfeeding Policy

638 replies

ifgrandmahadawilly · 02/12/2014 20:31

Aibu in posting this here, in the hopes that the people of mumsnet let Claridges know how unreasonable they are being?

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11267989/Mother-forced-to-cover-up-with-large-napkin-while-breastfeeding-at-Claridges.html

OP posts:
ChaffinchOfMegalolz · 03/12/2014 21:51

I thought she was discreet. The seats were high backed, if you don't like what you're looking at FGS look the other way.

I've fed in many a restaurant, discreetly, usually up a corner, no one ever noticed besides a waiter in Manchester whose eyes popped out of his head Grin

BoffinMum · 03/12/2014 21:56

I think I may well have bf DD in there in 1987, and I don't recall anyone batting an eyelid. I certainly wasn't offered a shroudy thing. i am sure if anyone had attempted to enshroud me I would have to them to naff orf and returned to my tea. What's happened to the place?

BoffinMum · 03/12/2014 21:59

Are there still people under the age of 50 in Britain who patronise establishments like Claridges, who have given birth and not breastfed at all? Even for a bit? Never? Seriously?

anothernumberone · 03/12/2014 22:00

I also would consider that she was being discreet and I wonder what possessed the waiter and subsequently the manager to suggest she put a cover over a babies head to be I don't know what maybe more conspicuous. Bizarre that Claridges still have not realised why some people are not happy with their definition of discreet.

BoffinMum · 03/12/2014 22:02

Frankly I think discreet is not whipping off your top in its entirety in the middle of the place. Anything else is fine.

Carrierpenguin · 03/12/2014 22:04

I wish that all the people with such hatred and offense at seeing a breast due to breastfeeding would also feel as horrified by page 3, scantily clad women on newspaper covers, lads mags etc.

Oh no I forgot, breasts are fine to be exposed if it's for male gratification, but if it's to feed a baby it's wrong Hmm

EmbarrassedPossessed · 03/12/2014 22:07

windchime it's really inaccurate and unhelpful to suggest that breastfeeding in public involves "flopping" a boob out. The vast majority of women who I've seen feeding don't expose any part of their breast really at all. Those that do are only doing it for a tiny moment whilst their baby latches on.

There are always tales of women who sit with their whole breast exposed for ages whilst getting ready feed, but I've never seen it or anything close. I think women who feed like that are few and far between.

It's not the same as deliberately being semi nude whilst sunbathing. Breastfeeding isn't exhibitionist at all for nearly everyone who does it.

AMinorBird · 03/12/2014 22:11

Has anyone read the comments under the Telegraph article? What a lot of nasty, mysoginistic and bitter people.

windchime, bf rarely involves flopping your boob out.

bigbluestars · 03/12/2014 22:18

Does giving birth and breastfeeding suddenly turn hoards of women into ardent exhibitionists? Or have they all been lying in wait ready for that perfect excuse of a baby in order to show the world their nipples.

It's a wonder that so many women can contain themselves and don't simply "flop" their breasts out at any odd moment anyway,in claridges,on the bus or simply sharing a coffee with friends- even if they don't have baby.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 03/12/2014 22:27

Forget the Breast Feeding, I am not sure Claridges is the place for children and babies full stop. Its' the sort of place for a grown up child-free afternoon tea.

AMinorBird · 03/12/2014 22:31

The baby was 12 weeks old! Was the mother supposed to leave it at home? Or not go out herself?

bigbluestars · 03/12/2014 22:33

Maybe the women was trying to make the most of her time before she had an energetic toddler on her hands. I personally wouldn't take a two year old to claridge's tea room, but a baby is ideal. Not yet mobile, easily portable, tends to sleep a lot. I would remove a baby if he became distressed or crying- upsetting other diners, but if the baby is quiet and happy, then it seems pretty ideal to me.

DuelingFanjo · 03/12/2014 22:34

Not all of us have floppy breasts but deepest sympathy to those who do, it must be awful. Are these the same people who have big hairy minges?

5madthings · 03/12/2014 22:39

Even after bfeeding for ten years and having 32gg boobs they don't flop! And the underneath of the Bra supports them anyway when feeding.

I would happily go topless on a beach that allowed it anyway, quite like my boobs!

Gintonic · 03/12/2014 22:45

Can I point out that there is a law which defends a woman's right to breast feed in public. There is no law defending a woman's right to shit or fart in public.

When Parliament debated the law they had the chance to add caveats like "only if discreet" or "only if covered by a napkin" and they didn't.

CountBapula · 03/12/2014 22:49

The whole 'breasts aren't just for feeding babies, they're sexual' thing is interesting, because apologists for Page 3 often try to claim that it isn't soft porn, it's just good clean fun, appreciating the natural beauty of the female body Hmm

So breastfeeding in public isn't fine because breasts are potentially sexy, but women's naked breasts in a national newspaper is fine because it's not sexy, it's a good old British institution, like deckchairs or fish and chips.

The reality, as people have pointed out, is that hands, mouths, penises, breasts etc are multi-functional and can be used for different things in different situations. Certainly when I'm breastfeeding, my boobs cease to feel remotely sexual and DH isn't allowed anywhere near them

Gintonic · 03/12/2014 22:58

So breastfeeding in public isn't fine because breasts are potentially sexy, but women's naked breasts in a national newspaper is fine because it's not sexy, it's a good old British institution, like deckchairs or fish and chips.

Agree! Someone please cover up the pert bottoms of those young male waiters, god forbid they might arouse sexual feelings amongst the older generation.

SurfsUp1 · 03/12/2014 23:20

I barely left the house for 3 months whilst breastfeeding and never breastfed in public. I hated it. It hurt, it made me feel physically sick and I utterly hated being a milch cow. I don't like seeing women breastfeeding and obviously that is my problem. If someone feeding was sitting near me in a restaurant I would leave. No doubt I'll get pilloried for saying that.

Actually I think that's fine. You know it's your problem so you would leave and not make it the problem of the bfing mum.

I bf in public for around 9 months with DS1, but after an extremely traumatic experience with DS2 I also felt physically repulsed by the sight of bfing (and also pregnancy women!). I never expected anyone to change their actions or move away from me though - I just looked away.

MrHardy · 03/12/2014 23:24

Don't see the problem with what Claridge's did here. Yes, it's a natural thing but that doesn't mean people want to see it when they're eating! Oh, and she didn't even have to go to the toilet to do it, I know for a fact that they have a private (and very comfy) room just for breastfeeding somewhere more appropriate.

Weeing, pooing and masturbating is all natural as well but it doesn't mean we want to see it whilst eating. Don't enforce things on others!

SurfsUp1 · 03/12/2014 23:28

Eating, smiling and laughing are also natural, yet we don'e expect people to hide away to do them. That argument is pointless MrHardy. Some things are considered acceptable in public and others (things that are unhygienic, sexually explicit etc) are not.

BF is not unhygienic or sexually explicit and is totally acceptable in public.

tiktok · 03/12/2014 23:31

mrhardy the 'it's natural' argument is not used much, partly because idiotic responses like yours seem to come, er, naturally, to people who cannot distinguish eating from defecating.

The baby who breastfeeds is eating. Just as people with cucumber sandwiches and cream cakes are eating.

I do sympathise with people who feel they are forced to witness it, though. It must be difficult to be afflicted with such rigidity of limb, neck and eye musculature that they cannot look away.

MrHardy · 03/12/2014 23:31

I never said it was unhygienic or sexually explicit, but surely you can understand it's not the nicest thing in the world when you're trying to enjoy food? I know that it would put me off my food.

I just don't like this 'look at me' entitlement. Whatever did mothers do before it was 'normal' to breastfeed in public? They went somewhere PRIVATE or discreet and did it.

MrHardy · 03/12/2014 23:33

tiktok I once went to a restaurant with my partner. Directly behind him was a woman breastfeeding in full view of everyone. If I wanted to look at my partner at any point during the night, I would also have to see her, and frankly it's not something I want to see.

I just find it a bit... uncouth, maybe? I get the baby is eating, but people don't want to see flopping breasts everywhere. A bit of cloth isn't asking much.

tiktok · 03/12/2014 23:35

What is wrong with it, mrhardy?

I don't get your objection.

Why is it worse if people are eating nearby?

Why does the mother have to leave her meal and her companions to go anywhere, comfortable private room or not?

SurfsUp1 · 03/12/2014 23:38

Whatever did mothers do before it was 'normal' to breastfeed in public?

Seeing as they've been doing it for thousands of years it's hard to say really!?