To think it's odd to give other people's children advent calendar?

[Vijac]

I know this is a first world problem. My 3yo (just 3) has received advent calendars from both the neighbours and my mil. I have already got one too. Whilst obviously these are kind gifts, aibu to think that it's a bit of a strange gift. I don't really want my son to have multiple pieces of chocolate every day for the whole of December. But what am I meant to do with the calendars?!

YABU, it is weird. As a pp said, a lot of calendars don't even have a Christmassy motive (yes , I'm thinking Disney princesses) so the whole idea of the countdown is lost. There's no hidden image behind the doors, it all becomes about the chocolate which is depressingly cheap shite. As someone said upthread, if a present is really necessary perhaps buy a Christmas colouring book or a simple decoration?

Sorry I meant YANBU
Off to bed now

Oh good grief - how can something like this be a problem?
This is simply a nice, seasonal gesture - how in the world can you get upset about something like this?

I'm with Battleaxe and a few others.
YABU

I would simply think that it was lovely of the neighbour to think about my child. I would be chuffed that they thought my child was worth thinking about.
Perhaps it just gives them a little joy and maybe they have no one else of that kind of age to buy for.

Please donate it to some child who has no one think about them - at least then it will be appreciated.

Dear oh dear! shakes head in disbelief

I think it's not just about the chocolate, it can be a nice sharing bonding thing between parent and child, part of the relationship.
When my children where younger I didn't use to like it if other people gave them advent calendars either, I used to think, Don't they think I will give my own children advent calendars?

No. It's not strange. Just take them to 'another child who doesn't have one'.

Tempy, you're overthinking it. It's just a nice gesture that someone wants to do for a child they like or love. It's not about the parent really, and certainly not an implied criticism.

YABU. It is definitely NOT weird. Parallel universe.

A lady who works with my mum bought DS one this year.

It's lovely, she is Christian and has chosen one with a nativity scene on it so I think it'll be a nice way to teach DS where Christmas comes from, although we're not religious ourselves.

At first I did think it was a bit odd as I don't really know her that well but it was a thoughtful gesture and to be honest I don't think DS will give a hoot if it didn't come from me. If I had bought an extra I'd have put it in the food bank trolley.

I didn't mind if other people gave them Easter eggs so it wasn't about the chocolate at all. It's about opening all the little doors day-by-day!

WHy is this odd?? I would be thinking how thoughtful and how lucky i am to have people who care about my dc.

Kali but what would you do if your DC already had one? Would you just allow them to open multiple doors on each morning?

I think it might seem odd because it wasn't something that was done when we/I was a child (sorry OP if you're younger than me ) and the advent calendars then were mostly just pictures behind a door.

I can remember one year getting one with little plastic toys in it and then after that the chocolate ones seemed to take over, but through my early childhood it was always picture ones only.

We were very close to my grandparents on both sides, lived across the road from my Dad's parents and saw them every day, and close enough to my Mum's that we could easily visit two or three times a week, and they were very generous, but it would have been unusual for us to get an advent calendar from them or any other relatives. And certainly not from the neighbours.

And it wasn't the norm for my friends to get more than one advent calendar either. I remember, because we used to compare pictures when we got to school. If you got a candle as the picture it was always disappointing, but a snowman or a robin was always good. Part of the excitement was guessing what picture you might get before you opened the door.

By the time my brother had kids it seemed a bit more of a thing for other people to buy them advent calendars as well (they are 16 and 19 now so born in mid/late 90's) and now I've had DS (age 5) other people do get him a calendar sometimes. My parents keep the one they buy at their house though, as he visits them regularly and so can open it with them.

So I can see what you mean OP, to me it's a more recent thing, it's not something that was really done when I was a child and so it can seem a bit odd or excessive for one child to have several advent calendars.

It takes the shine off if they're two a penny doesn't it?

I think so ClawHands, it's just another thing among many things now.

My brother and I could wind each other up like nobody's business arguing about who got the better picture, because that would be the other good thing about them, the pictures were all the same in the end, but mixed up, so we never knew when we opened the same door if we'd get the same picture behind it.

Neither of us wanted the candle pictures or the red flowers, and if you got Father Christmas before the 24th you won Christmas

It wouldn't have been the same if we'd had more than one calendar each to open, especially now it's just chocolate shapes that are all identical.

YANBU because he's your child, and it obviously feels U to you.

However, if my child was the recipient of multiple advent calendars, I think I would just be appreciative of people's kind thoughts, tell dc how lucky they were, and remind them that Christmas is all about sharing

Some people, when they have kids, should send s circular out saying "please don't ever buy my child anything. I would like to be the only person who treats him/her, because I want them to love me the most. Especially you, mil, don't mention or even think about my child without asking first, that is toxic and controlling behaviour. To other friends and family members, I will think you odd if you purchase anything out of affection and care for my child, you shouldn't care about him, he/she is mine and only mine. Unless I specifically request you purchase something for my dc, in which case you will have 4 days to comply before I start a thread on Mumsnet about you slating you for your selfish ways. Oh and never 'pop round', it is bizarre and I am too busy for you 100% of the time."

Op donate them or remove choc and eat yourself or make brownies.

@ gingee

GokTwo, great name!

On the subject of unwanted advent interventions, my MIL perpetrated a worse crime than doubling up on a chocolate calendar. When my eldest was two or three, she bought us a wooden advent train, with little tiny doors to open, just ready for us to 'pop in' a 'tiny treat'.

Aaarrggh! So instead of buying the boys a cheapo calendar, we have to come up with some daily excitement behind each chuffing door. Started with stickers or cheap christmas sweetie things. Fast forward a few years, and it's become a flippin behemoth of a Christmas tradition. We now have a daily treasure hunt, where they open the door to find the first of three clues (has to be three, otherwise it's not right (DH is worse than the kids on this rule, btw)). Clues lead to various festive goodies. As I'm still, all these years on, slightly grrr at the additional expense of all this malarkey, it tends to be odd bits and bobs I might've bought anyway, mostly any vaguely Christmassy snacks, although this year there's also a new christmas film lined up, and a few decs for the tree. One day each year they always find the ikea gingerbread house to make.

Do you know what? I'm blooming glad she bought the bastard thing, because without a doubt 'The Train' is going to live long in the boys' memories. They absolutely love it.

I still would never foist one on anybody else, mind

Well if such a minor gift is such an appalling imposition, it really will serve you right when people stop bothering with your children at all, OP.

I want an advent train.

DD and DS have 5 chocolate calendars and 2 religious 1's each, all from other people, I didn't buy them any as this happens every year.

I think it's a lovely kind gesture and incredibly wonderful that so many people care and love your child enough to buy them a calendar.

But it is also weird. You only need one advent calendar, it's not like easter where it's the more eggs the merrier. I personally think that having more than one to open every morning is not in the spirit of advent calendars.

My dgc have a wooden one and dd puts two tiny 'surprises' from the elves in each of the drawers. They also have one with just pictures and take it in turns which one they open.

Surely if you are religious then you only need the one advent calender, and if you are the parent you will manage that particular daily interaction.

If you aren't religious, why do you need an advent calender anyway?

Bit harsh Apocalypse . I only wondered what other people thought of it as a gift choice, I know they mean well.

I expect you'll cope with the extra chocolate somehow
I'm still buying them for mine at 15, 18 and 19 and don't plan to stop anytime soon! Growing up my three siblings and I SHARED one of those picture ones....yeah.