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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's odd to give other people's children advent calendar?

156 replies

Vijac · 30/11/2014 18:22

I know this is a first world problem. My 3yo (just 3) has received advent calendars from both the neighbours and my mil. I have already got one too. Whilst obviously these are kind gifts, aibu to think that it's a bit of a strange gift. I don't really want my son to have multiple pieces of chocolate every day for the whole of December. But what am I meant to do with the calendars?!

OP posts:

Takver · 30/11/2014 20:09

I'm feeling sad now, because I often send Advent calendar cards to nieces/nephews - they are picture not chocolate ones, at least. I used to love having several calendars to open when I was little (pics not choc as I'm old!), and thought it was a bit more fun than a regular Christmas card, had never considered it a weird thing to do :(

Stripylikeatiger · 30/11/2014 20:10

Oops, I bought my friends son an advent calendar for his birthday, it was one where you got a toy each day and it was a character he's obsessed with and I have never seen an advent calendar with that character anywhere else. I'd better check with her that she wasn't offended!

Musicaltheatremum · 30/11/2014 20:13

I bought my daughter's 21 year old best friend an advent calendar today. Hope she likes it. (It had chocolate in so she will)

simbacatlivesagain · 30/11/2014 20:13

I thought it was usual for the god parent to but the advent calendar? Obviously it has religions symbolism as an advent calendar!

ChippingInAutumnLover · 30/11/2014 20:15

I think it's odd too. The chocolate is the (modern) by product. It's not about the quantity of chocolate, but about the advent part. Its a count down to Christmas, you only need one. It's the same as people buying other people diaries, it's odd. Plenty of other treats if you want to buy a child something or offer well in advance.

Of course it's not the end of the world, but it is weird.

meglet · 30/11/2014 20:19

Yes it's weird.

You only need one advent calendar. We only do paper advent calendars, having more than one each would be silly.

Scrumbled · 30/11/2014 20:46

I think it's odd too, unless granddad or whoever, says in advance what they're going to.

I don't think the chocolate will harm them and I don't doubt the good intention but surely the excitement is about having the single door or pocket everyday. If they have 5 then it's a bit meh .

CobbOnn · 30/11/2014 20:50

Keep it for yourself and scoff all the chocolates with a glass of Baileys.

Original poster

Vijac · 30/11/2014 20:53

Oh dear, this does seem to have people divided! I'm not really that bothered, it's just that we only ever had one and it seems a bit strange (and spoilt) to me to be opening three different doors every morning. I would much rather they gave some Christmas stickers/a colouring book/a bauble for the tree or something. Three advent calendars is two too many imo. Don't worry about us needing to share our son's haul, mil also bought us a giant advent style tree with roses and quality street she attached all over it. This is very kind and sweet (although to be churlish, we are both watching our weight tbh).

OP posts:

MissBattleaxe · 30/11/2014 20:56

YABU.

It's not odd.

It's not weird.

It's kind.

Someone really loves your child and did a kind thing for them. Your child is lucky to have so many people who think of them that way and want to share in their lives.

It's not cruel, it's not insulting, it's not unkind. Save your energy for when something genuinely falls into those categories. It is the season of goodwill, not the season to police other people's generosity and find something to be offended about.

3boys3dogshelp · 30/11/2014 20:59

It has become a 'thing' that mil buys all her grandchildren an advent calendar. I have no problem with that except this year she has bought them all chocolate ones and 2 of them can't bloody eat it!! She knows this as i cater for them if we stay. I did question her about it - she said 'it's Christmas, a bit won't hurt'. Um yes, yes it will, they are allergic!

Fallingovercliffs · 30/11/2014 21:06

I agree children don't need more than one advent calendar so it makes sense to check with parents before buying one.
But the poster who said it was 'her job' to buy the advent calendars sounds a bit precious.

DuploEngineering · 30/11/2014 21:09

I was thinking of starting a thread along these lines! I wouldn't mind people giving them to my DC earlier in the month, but on the 30th November it just seems ridiculous!

BlueJuice · 30/11/2014 21:14

I've been buying my grandson a chocolate advent calendar for 15 years now - I didn't realise I'd be offending and stressing out his parents

Look at me, I'm an arse.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 30/11/2014 21:16

It's very kind of your neighbours and family to give your DS advent calendars. As pp have said, take them along to your nearest big supermarket and put them in the food bank or refuge trolley. A child who might otherwise miss out will then have something lovely, and you can feel glowy inside from doing a Good Thing.

A win win all around.

scratchandsniff · 30/11/2014 21:18

Bloody hell can't you just be gracious and realise that they probably felt all warm and fuzzy doing it. After all Xmas is a bit of an anti climax when you're an adult, seeing a child's excited face brings back a bit of lost magic.

wtffgs · 30/11/2014 21:21

Yeah! The bastards!

Here is your grip BTW

2rebecca · 30/11/2014 22:51

It's kind but they haven't really twigged that 1 advent calendar is enough for a kid and very few kids don't get bought at least 1 from a family member.

MissBattleaxe · 30/11/2014 23:10

I was thinking of starting a thread along these lines! I wouldn't mind people giving them to my DC earlier in the month, but on the 30th November it just seems ridiculous!

But if you give it to them any earlier the December police will come along and have a go at you for being prematurely Christmassy. Because that's wrong too in Mumsnet World.

MissBattleaxe · 30/11/2014 23:12

I just think that people are too uptight about this stuff. If someone gives you or your child something you don't want, you smile and say thank you. You don't get all affronted because it breaks invisible rules the other person didn't know about.

YABU

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/11/2014 23:23

miss you sum it up perfectly.

no one can seem to accept a gift anymore. there's always some sinister meaning behind it or some PA attempt to override you or make out your a mean mum or whatever.

truth be told someone was buying for their family and thought of the little boy next door who always says hello and shows them his teddy.

as kids we always just said thank you.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 30/11/2014 23:28

No I agree OP. My DC both recieved on on a visit to Father Christmas at a local Christmas fair last week and I was because I like to buy them myself!

A selection box would have been fine imo.

KillmeNow · 30/11/2014 23:29

If you don't want them to have more than one calendar to open and you are not going to donate to a foodbank or wherever maybe you can use them another time in the year?

I know the one my Dd has is not very Christmassy at all and could at a pinch be used to count down to a birthday / holiday/back to school for example.

GokTwo · 30/11/2014 23:35

How lovely, your lucky kids! Not weird at all. Dd would be really excited if she had more than 1!

SomeSortOfDeliciousBiscuit · 30/11/2014 23:38

I was the one who said unnecessary stress. I also said that my DS has ASD, so really, to the posters who made fun of the 'unnecessary stress', I meant it in a lighthearted way but it does give me yet another 'thing' that I have to manage carefully to avoid DS fixating or melting down. Add that to the thousand and one things we have to deal with on a daily basis and yes, the little things all add up and cause stress. Shame on you that you don't have the empathy to see that.

I wouldn't dream of raising it with my mum though, because I know she does it out of love and gets joy from it. There's a huge difference between having a little moan online and actually going 'Oi, mum, you're an evil git for buying chocolate! Don't do it!'.

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