Starting new job, please help me not fuck up - advice?

[TryingAgain14]

What are your top tips for being a good, organised employee?

I am scared. I am going back to the workplace after losing my last job, being diagnosed with depression, and a few other difficult things. The job is something I have mixed feelings about, in one way I'm interested in the company and in another I'm so scared of 5 days a week every week that I want to back out of taking it. But I can't do that, or I will not have January's rent. It's that simple. Plus I think if I can only find a way of being calm, I could actually really enjoy this job once I get used to it. And if I don't, I can always move on.

Basically, I want to try my best to take the opportunity but I feel stuck. Any advice would be great on work ethic, on how to keep going when you feel really shit, on how to feel less tired etc. Time saving advice for not being exhausted in the mornings rushing round etc?

It sounds daft, but nobody else in my family has ever worked so I feel completely on the back foot when it comes to career stuff.

Thank you for all the kind thoughts and good wishes. I'm still at home, no room at crisis housing but I will go to the hospital if I feel too close to the edge. Ok for now, just sleeping as much as possible.

I told one friend I wasn't doing so great today and she has texted me a few times, and I admitted how bad it was. She told another friend who asked if I was ok and I said I would be, but right now in a mess, and they texted and said to keep in touch too. So I am trying to reach out.

I do charity work already, for an organisation I really care about. I always want to do stuff for them whenever I can.

Can't see a way out over how to be any good at paid full time work though. I feel at my wit's end. I don't know how to make it all work. Whenever I stop feeling suicidal, I automatically become so worried, and then I bounce back into wanting to not wake up again.

All fine for now though.

Hey Trying,

I joined mums net just for you, and I'm not a mother nor am I expecting, I'm just someone who's come out of university and so scared of going into further training (mainly the reaching out and speaking to strangers, and appearing thick as shite too) that I have not yet done anything since I graduated! I feel useless on a daily basis.
My whole day was dedicated to crying today :( so when I saw your post it just broke my little heart. We all feel like shit, some of us just have a better way of hiding it, and others just possess incredible coping mechanisms (I long for one of these).
I hope you're alright, sincerely I do. Make sure that you don't blame yourself or harbour any feelings of guilt because that's what we like to do, don't we! Anyway, I apologise for my rambling and not making sense, I will blame the fact that it's late and the incessant crying hurt my brain! I hope you feel better today, please let us know how you are. If I'm genuinely concerned and care about your well being, then I know for a fact that so does everyone else who has taken the time to post some helpful advice on here for you, and that in itself should be incentive to feel happy :)
Besides if it's not good today, then it will be soon, you just have to give it time and maybe some sex. That always helps ;)
I like crude jokes (sorry if in bad taste xxx but do let us know how you are xxx

I hope you are ok and are getting the help you need