AIBU To inform Children's Services - children left home alone.

[SerialNamechanger1]

I would really appreciate some unbiased opinions on this if you don't mind reading and commenting. I feel I may be too involved in this situation to see it clearly for what it is (or isn't).

My partner has two daughters who are 5 and 6 (very nearly 7). Shared Residency with their Mother - they see her alternate weekends and midweek just for dinner. Very bad relationship between my partner and his ex, no communication, she is very angry and hostile.

The 5 yr old is articulate and on the more sensible side, but still a 5 year old. Nearly 7 year old is more immature than most I have met, very shy and quiet etc.

Eldest told my partner today (as part of a general conversation) that their Mother leaves them at home alone whilst she goes shopping. She explained it clearly and promised she is telling the truth. I spoke to the 5 year old independently and raised the subject and she told me she is allowed to stay home alone at her mummy's. Their stories and explanations both match and are both consistent and clear. It's happened many times, not just one and they say it's always when she needs to pop to the shops. If it's the nearest shop it would be a 10-15 min round trip at very least, if it's the large superstore it's at least an hour if just spending a short time in there.

My partner is really angry and upset and I am so worried, I would never do this with my own children. We absolutely would not do this and 100% feel it is a massive risk to be taking and potentially very dangerous - they are just too young and immature.

Children's Services have been involved before and are in the middle of completing a report on the children due to a previous allegation eldest made about her Mother hitting her (which was not taken further but Social Worker advised her Mother to be careful when using smacking as punishment). There is no immediate serious/active involvement now, they've decided the children are not at any great risk of harm but are going to carry out parenting assessments - I assume to tick the boxes to close the case.

AIBU informing Children's Services that the children are being left home alone?

Is it generally considered acceptable to do this? Is it just going to be seen as a petty complaint and "difference in parenting style" NONE of my friends or family do this and I can't imagine leaving them at home for at least a few more years, depending on maturity. Youngest is only 5 and still in Reception at school!

Blimey I just don't get that, presumably the girls don't really know their Mum's neighbours so where would they go what would they do if they did get scared/panick/Mum did't come back.

I think the most important thing is that she stops leaving them. So hopefully that call will be just the wake up call she needs.

I'm a former CP SW and I left my children at this age for the amount of time specified.

I had good neighbours and my children knew the area well (where my friends lived/worked etc).

I also had "schooled" them on what to do in emergencies.

So without other issues being present, this may not be a cause for concern.

The only thing I would question is why they need to be left, because of the Shared Residency (I was widowed). Also, I'm a big believer in children being taken shopping, to learn life skills etc.

OP, it sounds as though you (and your DP) will have to accept that you Parent differently.

As do SW's, we had a wide range of opinions across our LA and ultimately your Manager has to consider the situation as a whole and in regards to how Child Law is written.

Birds, the oldest one apparently us immature for her age, so would she know how to handle and emergency, or control another young child. If anything happened to those chikdren whilst mum was out, she would probably be prosecuted for child neglect!

She honestly would be prosecuted, we don't prosecute abusers.

The investigation is ongoing. I was just giving a generic opinion, there isn't one answer when it comes to children home alone.

When a report is made to CS, there are usually other concerns which then adds weight for a CIN plan.

Aeroflot There are shockingly few numbers of parents prosecuted for active abuse, let alone neglect.

I meant "wouldn't be prosecuted".

OP, I would start to run through scenarios and what to do, if something happens.

What you don't want to happen, is putting the children in a position of having to lie.

Or for the children to have to choose to disobey one parent or betray the other. They are in the middle of this, and will probably already have been asked about this by their mum - who have you talked to etc, and quite possibly warned against telling tales.

When they get back to you, just reassure them that you both love them no matter what.

I work for NSPCC.leaving them home alone is really concerning and I would advise children's services to know either directly on Monday or through NSPCC helpline 24hrs 08088005000.
Oh and police are always best option if children are currently home alone as they have immediate powers to enter a house.

That is bad. I remember at 5/6 years being left in a hotel room on my own, whilst my parents went for a ladies do downstairs. I saw matches, yu know the complementary ones they used to give in hotels and was tempted to see what they çoukd do. I I struck them but nothing came out thank goodness, I put them down.