My neighbour is harrassing me and said racial comments to me.

[Tammy1212]

She called me a black b n said I should be grateful to get a housing association flat in this country
She admitted to stealing my letters n parcel
She constantly bangs on her floor when my tv is on 15/100 volume so not loud she just wants silence when she is ready to go bed, She stomps around all day but when she's ready to go sleep I MUST be quite
She walks around in boots
She is constantly knocking on my door to scream at me about something
Example yesterday she left a note on my car about my "bad parking" then knocked on my door to start arguing with me about it with her boyfriend
I got in at 3am yesterday n turn on my tv so she started banging on my floor then because I didn't turn my tv off she came n banged on my door which I just shouted for her to * off through the door
She leaves her cigs on my window seal

I have reported her to HA since Sept
I recently reported her to police on Fri they still haven't come round.
I feel I'm going to hurt her seriously she is winding me up, she is obsessed with me it's not even normal
Will the police even do anything?

She tried to threaten the police n HA to me but I do nothing to her. She thinks my tv is on to piss her off, her problem is she does things to purposely upset me so she thinks I'm doing stuff to annoy her which I'm really not, I'm just living my life.

I'm watching tv now and I have my earplugs in and I can still hear her banging around/stomping just because my tv is on

What can I do about this? I'm pregnant n it's very stressful for me
I'm not moving cos I'm not the problem
She also had issues with the last tenant who was also black, she claimed he was harrassing her and played on the fact he had mental health issues to bully him.
She also accused me of having mental health issues which I have no history of. Everyone who has an issue with her is "mental"
Not everyone can move just cos of her so I'm not leaving. I want her evicted and I'm fuming she's been stealing my mail I accused the postman of doing it!

My neighbours have a dog and they drive me nuts but I know that there's just nothing to be gained by falling out with them.

I don't think my comments to the OP were bullying! I think the racist comments are dreadful and I advised the OP to keep a log.

I also believe that as I've got older I've learned to fight a bit more cleverly. No matter what you think of your opponent you learn to play it all out in your head a bit like chess. "so what could she say to others about me if I complain about her?". That's why I advised not watching TV at 3 am.

I'm twice the OP's age and tbh she does sound immature. "I'll watch tv if I want to". Well if her neighbour is thinking "I'll clomp around in hobnail boots if I want to" where does that get either of them.

You do need to get this sorted out, OP, because once your baby is born she will be banging every time it cries, and this will be extremely stressful

This is an aspect to discuss with your HA.

Is it the boyfriend who stomps about in boots? As you say it only happens when he is there?

As you are suffering racist harassment, I wonder if the HA could re-house you, to get away from here (which you shouldn't have to do -she should be moved!) to somewhere with better soundproofing for when the baby is born?

OP, YANBU.

By law, causing alarm or distress on 2 or more occasions is an offence, so you need 2 pieces of evidence for the police.

Racist abuse is serious & you should report that plus one or more other distressing actions.

Did you get a CAD number or a Crime number from the police - did you just phone, or did you go to the police station? You need to go in to the police station and show them your log & evidence & get a Crime Reference Number.

Do not do or say anything "to hurt her", or she will use it against you.

Another option is to call your Safer Neighbourhood police team & invite them to come to your home so you can report all this to them. Your neighbour will probably see them arrive & that may make her think more carefully!

I would advise you to look on your HA website and see what their policy is regarding anti social behaviour. There should be a section about racial abuse. If you are going to get anything done about this neighbour I would hazard a guess that this would be the way to do it. Stomping in your own flat is nowhere near as serious as being a racist. Tackle the issue from that front.

Turn your TV on as loud as possible.
If you need to go out shopping leave stereo on full volume.
If she makes a threat tell her to bring it on and deck her one.

For harassment you kind of need 2 incidents but in fact you need far more.

The first time you go to the police, if you had say 300 incidents - they will issue a warning to the haraser. It's the very next incident after the warning has been issued (ie: if the person continues) - you have them.

This seems very unfair but it is how it works. Thing is, people like this can't help themselves so they are compelled to continue.

HA should have a person responsible for dealing with ASB but in my experience they do tend to paper over the cracks, and from what I have seen on forums for people with antisocial neighbours, and what I was told by my own community officer, realistically you have to get them to court twice to evict them. Same kind of thing - once to fire a warning shot, give the little darlings a chance to see the error of their ways then the second time - with a fair wind behind you, you might get an eviction.

Think I have an attitude or whatever I really don't care about your irrelevant opinions. When you get harassed you will see.

I did say it nicely and I blamed the installation and thin walls not her walking like an elephant n she got huffy about it. This was all around beginning of September and not once did she mention my tv, that's why I don't believe it's the real issue. Only when I complained to the HA recently and they wrote her a letter that she started to bang on my ceiling and complain about my tv.

I'm not going to be bullied because I want to watch tv
Stamping on my ceiling just pisses me off its rude n disrespectful and she wouldn't act like that if I was a man.
I have a meeting with the housing tomorrow I'm going to request to move. To much negative energy in this flat, I'm done.

The police are coming round at 8 so I will see what they say, but thank you so much for advice. Hopefully they can just move me, I honestly never settled here anyway, the flat is shanty so maybe this is a good thing in the end

Oh yes, turning up the stereo and decking her one will do wonders for the goodwill all around.

Your neighbour sounds horrid, but you do seem delightful yourself. Talking of hurting someone bad is not a good thing.

You will have a baby soon. You will be hormonal, tired and grumpy.
Forget the attitude. Patience is what you will need.

You're not helping yourself here at all.

I don't get why there isn't zero tolerance on racism like that. One strike and they're out. Our neighbours had an Introductory tenancy, they breached in 5 different ways - including being threatening and abusive - and were allowed to stay. It's a joke.

Well, OP has taken the first step.
Police will no doubt take it seriously.

I have to ask. Were you born in this country? And I take it that your neighbour wasn't as you say that she 'has been here 10 years'
Wish I could have got a subsidised housing flat at your age. But no, I had to get a mortgage to be able to have a home.

I think the OP meant that the neighbour has lived at that property for 10 years Finger
She seems to know quite a lot of detail about her neighbour and the former tenant of her property

The trouble is Joffrey that even obnoxious people have to be housed somewhere, and that somewhere is usually social housing because no private landlord will put up with the complaints or the chaos. Evicting them just moves the problem on.

I have to ask. Were you born in this country? And I take it that your neighbour wasn't as you say that she 'has been here 10 years' Wish I could have got a subsidised housing flat at your age. But no, I had to get a mortgage to be able to have a home

Do you mean that the OP is a foreigner and should consider herself lucky she has housing, while you the rightful citizen had to get mortgage?

Were you born in this country?

Wish I could have got a subsidised housing flat at your age

What do the place of birth of the OP or your envy have to do with this thread Fingeronthebutton?

OP, good luck. I hope you can get the move.

I too would feel like being violent under such harassment. Doesn't mean you would carry it out, but the feelings are understandable.

Tammy If you want to be rideculed on MN, talk about race. Look elsewhere

Coyo I'm as intriqued and patiently waiting Finger to come back

Reading this, maybe I wouldn't be suited to 'social' housing. Contradiction in terms there I think.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who wanted to ask the question.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who wanted to ask the question

You mean you are not the only one who wants to ask how a black person got social housing. You are such a racist

You mean you are not the only one who wants to ask how a black person got social housing. You are such a racist

This!

Tammy, you need to take the moral high ground here and get yourself some headphones so that you can watch TV at any time of day without disturbing your neighbour.

She sounds horrible, but by descending to her level of tit for tat isn't going to make things any easier.

Apart from any idea you may have Fingeronthebutton about how social housing is allocated, my black friends are fourth generation English, and their great grandparents were asked to come to England to help rebuild the country after the second world war