Strangers touching my baby!

[Reddottys12]

Why do complete strangers think it's ok to come up to me in the street and touch my baby? It's always on the face or hands and he eats his hands constantly so goodness knows the germs he's picking up.

Today, someone I've met only once before decided she must hold my 4 month old and then constantly kissed his head. This really annoyed me and i feel really crossed some sort of boundary. She's a stranger to me and my son and I feel kisses are reserved for family and good friends!

What do I say or do when this happens and not sound like a cow or a paranoid mother?

Jesus! I don't think it's sad. Baby gets their human contact from mum and dad. If your baby is very young you should not allow loads of people physical contact or they will be poorly. Simple fact. I'm currently dealing with the 8th week of illness with my 6 month old. 4 separate bugs.... It's not fun. Watching him choke at night whilst he coughs is fucking horrific. My first DC had no such run of bugs as she was less exposed. Human touch and contact should be invited, especially when it runs risk of germs and illness.

Did you carry the first one round in a bubble arsey? Or is it more the case that pfb didn't have an older sibling to share the germs.

Oh and sandgrown, perhaps you should head to west Africa and kiss babies, maybe you'll think different about germs with Ebola risks. Do you know chicken pox(shingles:cold sore) and strep B throat can be mild for adults and toddlers but deadly for babies? Your post is ridiculous. Babies need protective mums not pokey grabby strangers insisting on touching new born's for their own bloody broody needs.

No bubble, just no pokey needy germy people.

If you don't want strangers holding your baby, don't let them hold your baby.

When people touch DD though, it's never bugged me. Really, she picks up more germs off the floor and garbage pail than she ever will a stranger's hand. I gave up on germs the day DM's dog licked her hands and she stuck them right in her mouth.

Think of it as building her immune system. Sterile environments have actually shown to weaken natural immune systems and increase chances of allergies. It's a good excuse to slack on cleaning too

The baby can't be asked if it'd be OK to cuddle. No possibility of consent.

The baby can't consent to you touch it's genitals when you change their diaper 5x a day either. Are you molesting your baby? I think not.

Babies are wired to be dependent, they don't have a need for consent or body autonomy yet. Suggesting otherwise is projecting your own feelings. You as the parent get to act in their best interest. If you think a stranger shouldn't hold your baby, don't let them. If you think they should, let them.

A baby will cry if it gets scared or wants to go back to mommy.

Ds2 always gets comments and wee strokes from randoms (usually wee grannies on the bus) due to his wonderful golden red hair and massive brown eyes.

Never bothers me

I'm 7 months pregnant and can't imagine letting a stranger pick my child up for kisses and cuddles

I love babies and I haven't held one in a few years because nobody I know well has had a baby in a while. When I see babies in public, I stop and coo over them. Sometimes I touch their feet if they are smiling at me and wearing socks. I know mothers don't always like their babies touched so I never do more than that.

How sad OP :(

I will always speak to a baby if waiting at same bus stop or otherwise. And it's automatic to put out your finger for them to grab. I don't have children and it's lovely to coo over other peoples babies.

I think you're completely overreacting. At nursery/school they will pick up a hell of a lot more germs than from a nice lady at a bus stop.

Gosh- the second one of these in a few days! Why do mothers think it better for their baby not to socialise? Very odd. I bet the baby is fine about it- it is generally the mother with the problem!

A baby is not polite, they don't consider other people's feelings- if they don't like it the will let you know loud and clear!

I think there's a big difference between a virtual stranger picking up your baby and kissing it and someone giving a baby a finger to hold/stroking a cheek/ruffling the hair of a toddler.

The first is intrusive. The second is totally normal human behaviour.

There's another thread on this same topic where a GM was stunningly rude to a kind passer-by who dared to ruffle a child's hair. She even sexualised the innocent hair ruffle by referring to is as "touching up". That is totally screwed up.

I took DD to Turkey aged 3.5 months, to Egypt at 16 months and Tunisia at 2.5. If I had felt as you do, it would have made for three miserable holidays. I loved the way she was feted, adored and had her feet kissed ( yes, really!)by so many people. I was standing right there, what could happen? And it was so lovely after the unfriendliness you often experience here.

For info, Evalyn, the poster who posted on this thread about babies' rights not to be touched us the OP of the thread about only relatives being allowed to touch toddlers. Virtually everyone else on this thread doesn't seem to have a problem with baby-touching.

This thread really helps clarify the point that it is impossible not to sound like a cow or a paranoid mother if you are either being a cow or a paranoid mother or both.

People miss the point that although you can stop people holding your baby you can't stop them touching - you can only complain afterwards! (Unless you want to trap your baby behind a rain cover the entire time you are out)
New parents often seem under the impression that they can order their child's whole environment and control other people. You can only do this in your own home.
I can't see why trying to prohibit socialisation is in the interest of the baby.

I never had any problem with anyone talking/cooing towards my baby-it did used to annoy me when they shoved there heads/hands in the pram/face without asking me though as from being a couple of months old baby used to go hysterical if they did this...she's still like it now and is 6 but turns out she has asd so there is a reason for this dislike.

I did used to get some filthy looks and sometimes some comments about ott mums whispered loudly behind my back-was even called rude as well when I asked people not to touch her even though I was only asking because I knew it upset her which I thought was quite rude

YANBU OP but people on these threads who flame others always seem to miss the difference between allowing our tots to have physical contact with others after we have built up a small amount of rapport - eg, a waitress in a restaurant who coos over a baby and offers to hold it while you take a mouthful, or the receptionist who asks if she can have a sneaky cuddle while your waiting... This is completely different to absolute strangers in the street requesting physical contact with our kids. If I have not met someone for more than 10 seconds, it startles me that they feel we have a relationship where it's ok to get in my child's face simply because they're small.

I once let a woman hold my baby in my first few days of being a mum, I met her on the street - right outside what is a psychiatric hospital. I will hold in my belly forevermore the feeling I had when I later saw in the paper, that not only was the woman id met a patient but that she had committed a murder.

This^^ reminds me that I never know who it is I come across on the street.

But also new babies, and germs from unknown people... Whilst the liklihood of your baby getting sick is small, I understand that fear. I feel it less as my kid grows but I think some people forget too that overwhelming desire to protect your kid from everything that hits you before you gradually learn (sob, sob) that you cannot control everything and keep your kid in cotton wool.

Pag how is having a say in who touches your baby "being a cow"?

You will sound silly if you say it first, when people most likely have no intention of touching, and it is a bit late afterwards.

Claw,

Did you not spot that my op was simply replying to the specific question the op asked, using the words she used.

And if the way you 'had your say' in deciding who touches your baby was to, for example, shout 'fuck off cow face' then you would sound like a cow because you would be being a cow.

Is that not self evident

Lol at 'fuck off cow face'