To have written these people a snotagram?

[rosegarden23]

I have recently passed the former house of a friend who passed away seven years ago. This friend was retired and loved her garden. The young couple that bought it have let it go to wrack and ruin. Its a corner plot with a lot of hedge which clearly hasn't been cut in the last couple of months, the lawn needs a good mow and the roses have been left to their own devices. I am so upset that the garden is in this state that I have written an anonymous note letting them know how disgusted I am and posted it to them. I told a mutual friend that I had done this and they think I have overreacted. What do you think?

Yes especially if it could be rigged up to soot shit out to rubberneckers

I like your style furcoat

YABVVVVVVVVU

If I received an aggressive letter like that I'd be reporting it to the police.

That's assuming that it hadn't pushed my depression/anxiety into a total nervous breakdown.

What a horrid, horrid thing to do.

What a horrible thing to do, I would be massively hurt by such a letter. I've got small children and our house isn't as tidy out front as our retired neighbours at the moment - we just don't have the spare time to dedicate to it.

I have often wondered about the mentality of people who write reverse OPs.

What is going through your head when you do it?

I mean, it's just lying isn't it.

Why didn't you just write a truthful post OP?

As it was a reverse tidy ones

How about laminating the following message and putting it up in the garden:

To the person who left a note recently:
We are very sorry that we have not had the time to keep our garden tidy this year, due to circumstances beyond our contol. If you would like to make friends and tend our garden then we are more than happy to accept your help.

It is likely that whoever wrote the note is probably a good gardener, why not take advantage?

Keep hold of the letter in case you get sent any more.

I've never seen a reverse thread before. So it's all been very interesting. She sounds like a loon so I wouldn't go winding her up. She may well be one of your neighbours.

Maybe you could ask your neighbours if they recognise the writing style, or situation, of the poison pen writer. Your reaction could get back to the writer, which would be good!

While whoever wrote the note may be grieving for their friend, I think that a part of this person is actually enjoying the sending of the anonymous note. As it's been 7 years since their friend died, which is weird.

I would keep the note in case any more come along (and envelopes too), because if you don't jump and start tidying up as they tell you too, it might attract more letters to kick start some drama.

Don't feel obliged to work on your garden just because of this letter, as you've got reason enough to prioritise other things right now.

And reporting this to the police, if just to log it, is something to consider, but I'd definitely go to the police if a 2nd letter came along.

Good grief! I'm so sorry OP - that person is not a stable person.

sttonmum's idea is great :D

You get a nice garden, they get to work hard for you for nothing and if they don't take you up on it, they're even more pathetic.

Don't let anyone work on your garden. That would be to admit it's not really your garden, rather than making the point that it is yours. Don't reward this person for his/her poison.

The note was out of order full stop.

However - going against the grain a bit - objectively how bad is the garden?

I'm not suggesting you should feel a need to maintain it to its previous levels - but try desperately not to sound too Hyacinth Bucket about it - I do think it's neighbourly to keep your house and garden neat and tidy.

My current house was bought from a keen gardener and it was lovely. However there was no way myself and DH working full time and without a green thumb between us was going to keep it that way.

So we had some help from the family in radically simplifying it to something we could maintain. It still looks nice but it's no longer a "gardeners garden" if you see what I mean.

My garden went a bit wild when I was pregnant. It couldn't be helped, I was exhausted. I usually just strim down the weeds and put out a few pots with seasonal flowers, keep the bushes trimmed down, throw all the toys in a box round the side of the house. I actually do like pottering in the garden but as others said when you have young kids it's hard to find the time.

I'm a bit lucky though as from looking at Google Maps it was really wild when the previous owner was here so I think it looks fine now. It won't win any awards but it won't offend anyone either.

I think if you have the cash, I'd hire someone to give it a bit of a tidy up just so it looks neat.

The letter writer is unreasonable, but I do hate seeing yards in a big mess. Even in my worst of times, I paid to have someone come over every few weeks to run the mower over and gives the trees a prune as needed. A yard doesn't need to be a showpiece, but keeping the front of your house tidy is not an unreasonable expectation.

I normally mow the grass, DH has asthma that's triggered by allergens, so he wheezes when he tries, so not a lack of will on his part. When I was pregnant my grass got 2.5 feet high. We had to hire a guy to come and fix it. Now it stays pretty maintained, and once in a while DH will brave it and mow what he can before he needs to stop.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it. They've obviously got issues and grief makes people stupid.

Have a watch of - and include Parts 2 and 3. It's been taken off a telly but the power of Patricia Routledge's acting shines through anyway.

Ah, a reverse! I was coming on to suggest that you offer to help tidy it up rather than lambast it.

Op, it's your property. Not a memorial garden to the previous owner. Sounds like the letter writer's grief is manifesting itself in unpleasant ways. Ignore, but file the letter in case this escalates then you could report both.

Sorry, that's so horrible I actually think you're making it up. What if this couple have health problems, suffered a bereavement or any of the other millions of things that complicate life? Even if not, what's it got to do with you?

Like I say, i don't believe you've actually done this yet and you're just testing the water on here - I hope I'm right.

Oh a reverse......???? How odd.............

I understand the strength of feeling - the people who bought my mum & dad's first home (&the house I was born & grew up in until I was 6) have made an absolute pig's ear of it & every time my mum drives past she scowls - but YABU. It's sad that so something your friend worked so hard on is being lost, but unfortunately that's just the way it goes sometimes.

Ah. Will learn one day to read to the end, not halfway.

Whoever sent the note is unreasonable.