People not RSVP'ing to dd's party

[justalittlelemondrizzle]

Dd is having a birthday party in just over a week. The invitations were sent out at the beginning of the month. Two people still havn't replied dispite putting last week as the rsvp date. I have since spoken to one of them and they said they still didn't know.
WIBU to presume them as not attending? It really annoys me. It's the height of rudeness, they've had almost a month! The venue said I needed to confirm numbers 2 weeks before, which has now past as I am unable to give them final numbers.

[PuppyMonkey]

You're right, chinny, that problem doesn't happen because the majority of people aren't so crap and wouldn't leave someone hanging on for an answer to a very simple question.

A handful of people like you and art consider themselves special exceptions though and you don't need to be nice. I'm saying... imagine if we were all so crap.

Just try not being crap. It's not hard

[whatever5]

I always reply straight away because that is how I do things anyway. I don't have a problem with people like Chinny though. As long as parents aren't deliberately not replying (as Art seems to do) they're not not rude in my opinion. Some people forget (or their children have lost the invitation somewhere between home and school) but so what? I usually just get my children to hassle their children and/or send texts to parents to remind them.
I think as your children get older and you have organised more parties things like this won't be a big deal.

[PuppyMonkey]

Well, I'm booking a meal for my eldest's 18th next week, and I can tell you it would still very much be a big deal if I didn't have definite numbers by now. Fortunately, everyone I know is not crap.

[whatever5]

PuppyMonkey Why would it be a big deal if you don't know exactly how many people are going? Does it really make any difference if there is one more or one less?

[BingoBonkers]

Booking a meal for a large number of people can be a nightmare. Not just for the organiser but the venue. What if they can't squeeze an extra one in? Someone somewhere is going to be upset.

[PuppyMonkey]

Well the place we're going is very busy, particularly in run-up to Christmas,so we're pre-ordering the meals and have paid deposits etc. So yes we need the correct numbers. If that's ok with you.

No, it won't be the end of the world if someone doesn't turn up. I'd probably get a refund.

Yes, I'm sure the restaurant would be nice and add an extra place if we needed it at the last minute.

It's not a big deal. Just like it's not a big deal replying yes or no to an invitation in good time.

[whatever5]

Yes, I'm sure the restaurant would be nice and add an extra place if we needed it at the last minute.

It's not a big deal. Just like it's not a big deal replying yes or no to an invitation in good time.

You're being a bit inconsistent. First you say that it would very much be a big deal if you don't have exact numbers a week before the meal and then you say that it wouldn't be a big deal as you are sure that the restaurant would be nice and add an extra place.

I agree that it's not a big deal to reply to an invitation in good time but people are human and sometimes they forget and need reminding. As long as it's only one or two people and they are not doing it deliberately I don't see as something to get worked up about.

[whatever5]

Booking a meal for a large number of people can be a nightmare. Not just for the organiser but the venue. What if they can't squeeze an extra one in? Someone somewhere is going to be upset.

If they can't squeeze an extra person in the one who didn't reply until the last minute won't be going! That is their problem not the organisers.

[GoingToCalifornia]

I sent invites out about a month before, with a text RSVP request. The majority replied only within the final week, and a handful on the day!

It was at a venue so I was nervous, as it was not even a birthday party, but a Halloween party, and the first party whilst at their new school, so it was important more than 10 could come at least.

I've kept all their phone numbers and names though so next time we send out invites I can gently remind them by text to RSVP

[PuppyMonkey]

Ok, apologies for any inconsistency - it is a big meal TO ME is prob what I mean. Maybe not a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

And it's annoying when it's always the same one or two who can't get their act together and remember to RSVP and not be crap all the time.

Just try a bit harder not to be so crap, that's all I ask of people.

[bialystockandbloom]

No, it's not a massive deal, but it does matter more than a little bit. Especiecally if its something like a restaurant where you need to be as precise as you can to book a table. Say you were having a birthday meal (adult), invited 20 people, booked a table for 20, but still a few days before half those people hadn't got back to you. There's a big difference between a table for 10 and table for 20. Restaurants would not have such flexibility, and would either reduce the table size, or charge you.

There is just no excuse for serial non repliers. It's fucking rude and arrogant.

I don't chase up non replies to dc birthday parties, cba and have better things to do. Usually do few extra party bags as there are always those who show up without having replied. So no big problem. But I will remember their names