To ask this question?

[Justanothermummyof3]

I was wondering what is the average amount a parent spends per child on Christmas presents? Me and dh don't seem to beable to agree on this and children seem to always end up with to much. This year we have cut back a bit and budgeted for £500 main presents and around £75 stocking, is this out of control?????????

Your last sentence is actually a reminder to me of one reason why I try every year to not go overboard.
If they have all that so young where do you go next? I put off getting all the technology until they really started asking for it and really old enough to appreciate and play it.
Even now there still isn't a huge amount compared to what other families have.

It's actually quite sad that your dh feels like that. He doesn't have to buy their affection and they will either not rember half of it or grow to appreciate nothing.

Why does an 8yo need an iPhone on contract? they certainly wouldn't have a 37" TV with Sky and Netflix in their room in my house either. Sorry, OP but that's madness imo.

That is an awful lot of technology at age 8. I think your DH has gone overboard. What will be left for their teenage years?

I also think your DH has gone overboard. Being a good, loving parent does not mean buying lots of stuff.

An I Phone contract for an 8yr old? Who does she phone?

How does she even have time to spend with you with all that tech going on in her room?

I feel dh is being attacked now and that's not fair, he's a brilliant man and would do anything for me and the children. There's not many people how can say there dh does a 15 hour shift then WANTS TO come home, bath dc read their school books with them and tuck them into bed. He's not at all buying them as someone.posted dc love their dad it's clear to see. I was just curious if other people that had bad childhoods for one reason or another over compensated with their own dc.

All I can say is BLOODY HELL!! We spend about £50 on main and £25 on stockings and I thought that was a lot. BTW my kids are 14 and 11. My kids appreciate all that they get, in fact their favourite pressie is always the Prawn Cocktail Pringles that Santa brings every year and they scoff before brekkie!!

Are you pulling our leg now OP?

Your 8 year old doesn't really have all those things listed in your last post.

dd aged 8 already has a Tablet , ipod touch, contracted iPhone, laptop, 37 inch hd TV, sky and Netflix in her room

OMG! You are joking aren't you. I sincerely hope this is a wind up.

I think you've answered your own question here, OP by admitting that your DH overcompensates for his childhood by the amount he lavishes on your dcs. If you can afford this then really, it is your choice.

However, I'd hope that your dcs grow up to recognise the value of money. Something that can be harder if they've always had everything they wanted bought for them. I'm not suggesting deprivation is a great alternative but somewhere there ought to be a happy medium.

Sorry, it's none of my business really but your 8 year old seems to have a shitload of technology for her age!

Honestly, I don't think you should get too hung up on budget, it's more about what they would like/need than what it costs surely? If they need something that's £500 then fine, get it for them but I wouldn't go over the top on random stuff just to bump up the total money spent, the children wont even notice.

Are you a new poster OP?

when I said buying their affection I wasn't being horrid. But sorry he is. He is trying to overcompensate for his own childhood issues by going overboard. It is no reflection of what type of father he is the rest of the time. But sorry the reality is because of his own issues he is creating a monster long term and is mixing up childhood memories with a childhood full of stuff.

If this is real and your 8 year old has all this stuff then sorry you do need to have some frank works with him about how excessive this is getting.

Op, my dad had a shitty childhood and he sounds a lot like your dh, as kids my brother and I had masses of stuff for birthday and Xmas because he wanted everything in our life to be different to his childhood. When I was quite young my mum pulled him up on it, saying he shouldn't buy so much. His answer was that not many people know what it is like to be the kid that didn't have a school uniform, the kid that didn't have even a crappy 4th hand bike to be the kid that basically had nothing. Like your dh my dad worked bloody hard to make sure that our life wasn't like that and buying things for us made him happy. If your dh wants to spend the money then let him.

Average amount? I have one DD, she's 4, and I'd say I spend about £40/50 for main present/s and another £20 on books/wee toys for stocking. Money is pretty tight here, but also, she's only young, I don't think she needs much, and personally I don't really think it's a great idea to get them too into the whole materialistic side of things.
On a side note, it sounds like a lot of the gifts mentioned by the OP are stuff to 'entertain' the kid, i.e. for sitting staring at a tablet/tv/movies/phone. Have you thought about gifts that encourage her to be creative and involved, rather than just passively absorbing entertainment? They're often a lot cheaper too! Not criticising, just suggesting, as children creating their own fun is a subject of interest and study of mine :-)

Your nuclear family sounds very close and loving. Do what you and DH feel best with doing. We get DS what he wants.

For us board games are an obsession if you were thinking of anything else your children might like.

I'm always surprised on hear to read people's long lists of presents for their cd as that's just not what I'm used to.
We give one main pres for about £50 but could be more if there's a 'whole family' thing we're giving as pres like trampoline.
Then one small stocking each with bits and bobs in prob coming to no more than £15 or £20.
If you can afford to spend what you do then go for it - personally I'd struggle to think of stuff (plus lots of family ask for ideas) and find somewhere to put it!

I know this sounds really...worthy, but honestly it would be better to spend £20 on stockings and £150 on presents and bung the rest in savings accounts for when they're older.

They've got too much stuff, it isn't necessary and with expectations raised to these levels the teenage years could be horrific.

Doh! On here not hear and dc not cd obviously!

dd aged 8 already has a Tablet , ipod touch, contracted iPhone, laptop, 37 inch hd TV, sky and Netflix in her room

I don't have half these things. I couldn't afford them. I think you are running a real risk of your children not knowing the value of money and that they get everything they want if they ask.

This is a wind-up, right? A spoof thread?

I really think you need to have a talk about this with your DH. It sounds like he's a really generous, loving dad but its a bit OTT for an 8 year old to have all that stuff in her bedroom.

She really does not need that at 8. If she has everything at such a young age, what is left for her to have when she's a teenager and its more appropriate to have this kind of stuff.

Also you could spend half of what you do now and get wonderful presents. S DH doesn't need to do as much overtime, or if you've got the money, go on a long weekend away with the family. Sometimes experiences are better than lots of stuff.

This is OP's first thread! I'm thinking wind up too!