Was this teacher rude and should I say something?

[farendofafart]

As I met my DD out of school today her teacher made a beeline for me and said in an authoratitative manner (which is her usual manner to be fair), "Can I ask you not to send DD to school again wearing the coat you've been sending her in?"

I was totally perplexed as her coat is a completely ordinary, plain, padded winter coat, brand new last month.

It turns out that the zip has been causing problems (although I wasn't aware of this and it hasn't caused me any problems) and DD has "missed 40 minutes of her education today because of time spent with three adults trying to get her out of her coat."

Whilst I understand this must have been super annoying for her teacher, I can't help thinking her approach with me was unnecessarily rude. Added to the fact that I am a single parent on benefits at the moment (which her teacher should know as DD is on FSM) and I cannot afford a new coat at a moment's notice.

I'm quite prepared to be told I'm BU. I'm a bit hormonal and life is a bit of a struggle right now so it could just be me being over sensitive.

[pieceofpurplesky]

??

[pieceofpurplesky]

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

Maybe this is why independent schools insist on blazers instead

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Do you want us to cut it or do you want to come in and take her out of school to try yourself"

Heard it all now. Brilliant. Perhaps the OP should have taken a day's emergency dependant's leave to come and sort it.

[batmanandrobin]

i am a teacher so am very upset to here somebody in same profession has upset a mom- it's not what we set out to do!

she should always put families first and should speak to you with respect and explanation rather than a quick demand. i wonder if she was rushing to a meeting about something horrific, or other 'cons' of the job.

this is NO excuse however. if it was one of my students mothers that i had upset i would like to feel she would approach me about the situation. in the morning just calmly say to teacher,

"she's in the same coat as yesterday. i haven't had time or money (in 12hrs!) to sort a new coat, but have spoken dc and they're going to be careful when putting coat on"

if her response is rude, then say to teacher (remain calm as it makes you bigger person), "i am under a lot of pressure right now and a coat is the least of my worries. if it's an issue put it on/off like a jumper please".

but if teacher simply nods, or responds gracefully then i would leave the situation as that.

i don't feel you're unreasonable to be disheartened by situation. xx

[Bumbiscuits]

Again, if the zip is faulty you do not need a receipt.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I expect the reason it took 3 members of staff 40 minutes was because there had to be a risk assessment before they attempted such a hazardous task

It's hilariously pompous, when you think about it. As if you have been maliciously sending the child in with an imploding zip

Actual tears

[Catsarebastards]

Perhaps the OP should have taken a day's emergency dependant's leave to come and sort it.

No no, you (deliberately?) misunderstand me. I suggested the school call and give OP the choice over what happens. I didnt say she should leave work to deal with it.

[ThePinkOcelot]

Didn't you know that teachers are the Lord reincarnated, so there is no way she was rude. She'd been teaching children all day etc!!

You could have used the mumsnet saying "did you mean to be so rude?"

[FloatIsRechargedNow]

I suspect that the OP has a pretty good idea why the teacher was so "unnecessarily rude"...she's an LP on benefits, and as an ex-secondary teacher herself, she knows that the teacher is fully aware of her situation via the FSM info. This is the sort of 'rude crap' that many poorer LPs get, on benefits or not. Not by everybody of course, but by just enough to make it noticeable.

By the way OP, your last post offering the additional info made me .

[ZippyKerfuffle]

I think the Daily Fail would love this story. A close up of the sad faced child with the pesky zip alongside a warning to other parents would be marvellous

[Micksy]

When you're in front of a class, you're in a role. Sometimes it takes a little while to switch back into adult mode. It sounds to me that she was still in her no nonsense dealing with over excited kids mode. I occasionally get told off for using my teacher voice at home. It happens.

[pieceofpurplesky]

Batman are you really a teacher?

[NoelleHawthorne]

Don't say did you mean to be so rude?,you'd be a twat.

[Sunna]

Yes, she was rude.

However, she was probably exasperated at the time taken to extricate the child from the coat.

Children should be sent to school in clothes they can get in and out of without assistance. Countless hours are wasted on a daily basis by teachers and TAs dressing and undressing children.

She's told you that there's a problem with the coat (very rudely) and you should concentrate on fixing the problem. I imagine your DC was quite upset at being stuck in her coat.

But she was very rude.

[OwlWearingSunglasses]

More surprised at the child wearing the coat and actually doing it up, tbh. My dc would not wear a coat from year 6 until the left school like almost everyone at their school no matter how cold it was!

The 40 minutes I take as exaggeration "your child never has his pe kit" which he forgot once, for example. And teachers can be so incredibly rude to parents as they have been in teacher mode teacher:pupil all day and some find it difficult to revert to adult:adult mode at the end.

I have told a teacher "I am sorry, you seem to think that I am a child, did you want to rephrase that?" And they have usually moderated their tone.

[Trickydecision]

pieceofpurplesky, I was wondering that, too, and if so, what subject?

[Neverbuyheliumbalonz]

It took 3 adults 40 minutes to get her out of the coat? Sorry, but either you or the teacher is exaggerating!

Having said that, me and my TA did once spend about 10 minutes trying to get a welly boot off little girl in my class - I thought we might need to cut her out of it at one point!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Children should be sent to school in clothes they can get in and out of without assistance. Countless hours are wasted on a daily basis by teachers and TAs dressing and undressing children

well perhaps they should think of that when schools insist on school shoes, shirts, trousers (let's face it by the time you have adjusted the waist rolled up the leg and added a belt to get them to fit they are not exactly easy to put on) rather than blame parents for a unknown zip fault on a coat

[Sunna]

What else would they wear, if not the things you list, Giles?

Uniform or not those are standard clothes that DCs wear to school.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

black joggers for infants? polo shit lots instead of shirts, no toes, black trainers.

jumpers instead of cardigans. no tights just joggers and socks. easy ankle socks not those hard to pull up knee high school socks. let's face it the girls ones get harder and harder to pull up.

supermarket jumpers too. so cheap to replace. none of this logo'd stuff which may mean due to lack of funds aren't replaced often and ergo maybe slightly tighter and harder to get off if they get a bit small in the mean time.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

polo shirts

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Polo shit!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

No shoes.

oh ffs auto correct

[Wolfbasher]

To be fair, after what my DSs put their polo shirts through, a polo shit might be a better description