Was this teacher rude and should I say something?

[farendofafart]

As I met my DD out of school today her teacher made a beeline for me and said in an authoratitative manner (which is her usual manner to be fair), "Can I ask you not to send DD to school again wearing the coat you've been sending her in?"

I was totally perplexed as her coat is a completely ordinary, plain, padded winter coat, brand new last month.

It turns out that the zip has been causing problems (although I wasn't aware of this and it hasn't caused me any problems) and DD has "missed 40 minutes of her education today because of time spent with three adults trying to get her out of her coat."

Whilst I understand this must have been super annoying for her teacher, I can't help thinking her approach with me was unnecessarily rude. Added to the fact that I am a single parent on benefits at the moment (which her teacher should know as DD is on FSM) and I cannot afford a new coat at a moment's notice.

I'm quite prepared to be told I'm BU. I'm a bit hormonal and life is a bit of a struggle right now so it could just be me being over sensitive.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

No not to.

[ginnycreeper5]

"Can I ask you not to send DD to school again wearing the coat you've been sending her in?"

I think you are being a little bit over sensitive OP.
You are right in that the teacher was probably a bit abrupt and forthright, but a lot of teachers have that manner.

I hope you can replace the coat! The zip shouldn't be sticking if it's fairly new.
Even if you can't find the receipt, the shop should replace faulty goods.

[ChimesAndCarols]

Chimes to she can't just be forgiven for going a tad OTT. If she can't handle children and dealing with them then perhaps she should rethink her career.

Good God Iliveina - talk about going waaaaaay OTT over one little incident.

Why not take it all the way and go to the PTA and get her sacked? FFS.

[WooWooOwl]

If she spoke to you in her 'usual authoritative manner' then I can't see why you think she's been unnecessarily rude.

It's perfectly reasonable for her to ask that you send your child to school in a suitable coat. I'd have more of a problem if she knew of something wrong with an item I'd sent into school for my child's use and didn't let me know.

So no, you shouldn't say anything, and you should fix the zip or buy your dd another coat.

I am stunned that it took 40 minutes to get a child out of a stuck coat though, I think you'd have been fine to ask why they didn't just lift it over her head so that both she and the school staff could get on with whatever else they were meant to be doing.

[hiccupgirl]

I love your idea that all teachers think parents have bottomless pockets Ilive. You do realise a large proportion of teachers are also parents who may well be tight for money too and do therefore understand that new coats cost money and this isn't a good time of year.

I would say the teacher sounds rude and she could have approached it very differently but maybe she'd just had enough today and the coat was the final straw. I would let it go and just keep sending your DD in, in the coat if you think the zip is ok or take it back as faulty if not.

[ArcheryAnnie]

She sounds a bit pompous, tbh, and I'd probably just put a bit of WD40 on your DDs coat and send her in it anyway. and tell your DD if the zip is stuck to pull it over her head.

[Coyoacan]

Not very good communication skills on the part of the teacher. But maybe she was had had a bad zip day.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Like I said Chimes if she cannot take the heat perhaps she needs to get out the kitchen.
I am a receptionist and I'm not allowed my off days, no matter whether I love or loathe my clients or how I'm feeling they (clients) are my bread and butter, so all that she'd been working 7 hours does not wash with me.
And in reply to you Hiccup. A teacher demanding a single parent on a ridiculously tight budget must think money is a bottomless pit.

[hels71]

It took me 15 minutes to get a child out of a coat the other day. The zip had caught in the inside fabric and it was so near the top there was no way the coat was going over a head. I still have no idea how she did it. If I had had that first thing, after break and after lunch for example I would be quite annoyed....some coats are a nightmare...

[OpalQuartz]

Is there any reason why the coat can't be pulled over the child's head op? If it was quite snug fitting i can imagine it might be hard. It might be worth trying this yourself and then if it's fine you can suggest they do this until you are able to sort out any problems with the zip.

[PuppyMonkey]

Opal - you're far too sensible. If only one of the three adults who fannied about with the zip for 40 minutes had thought of pulling it over her head, op's DD wouldn't have missed out on all that education.

[OpalQuartz]

Maybe the zip got caught in the same way hels mentioned above my post. I doubt the three staff were all stupid.

[Selinasupreme]

YANBU they could have just give you a heads up that the zips stiff instead of blowing it out of proportion.

[Catsarebastards]

DD has "missed 40 minutes of her education today because of time spent with three adults trying to get her out of her coat."



Oh to have been a fly on the wall! Probably not very nice for DD though.

[Pixel]

Most zips can get caught up on occasion though can't they, if you are in a hurry and snag the material or a loose thread (or if a small child is just getting the hang of zips). It doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with the coat so it's a bit much to insist on a new coat after one incident that could quite easily be a one-off.

[ghostspirit]

is there a problem with the zip? if so take it back like biscuits said.

But if the coat is ok and the teacher is just being difficult then do not feel pressured into buying another coat. xmas is coming up im sure there are probably others things you would like/need to buy.

makes me see how lucky i am with my childs school really. my daughter has been wearing white trainers for past couple weeks. i need to get her new shoes, but when the school says something to me i will say i can this weekend or end of the month when i have the money. they would not demand she does not wear them again.

[LynetteScavo]

If the zip stuck at the top it probably couldn't be pulled over a child's head.

Yes the teacher was a but rude, but I'd try to move on. I wouldn't be buying a new coat even if I could afford one if spoken to like that.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

More than three posters have suggested taking the coat back. Might not be so easy if it's a hand me down or if the OP got it 2nd hand.

Also, even if it wasn't...it's been suggested now multiple times.

[MindReader]

"She's just spent 7 hours dealing with children, children and even more children"

Yes, but that IS her job, which she is remunerated for

She isn't doing it as a favour so she could drop the martyr stance and be less snooty with this parent, couldn't she?

[Camolips]

Who said there were 3 people at the same time? Maybe dinner lady has trouble, hands over to supervisor. It's the end of lunch by then so supervisor hands over to TA.
Had a tricky one last week myself. Child comes in from lunch, gets hysterical because can't pull zip down (right up by neck). Took me and another adult about 15 minutes to calm child down so we could actually get near the zip ourselves. It was solidly stuck and suggestion of just sitting out the afternoon in the coat were met with more tears but after a while it was the only thing we could do. Mum apparently cut the coat to get child out when they got home. What dramas we have in schools

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Y.Y. Mind.

[lljkk]

I'd loathe that coat by end of day, too.
I see coats in charity shops for 8 quid & under.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Yes and 8 quid can be an impossibility when you're on benefits and lone lljkk

[PuppyMonkey]

Clawhands, think the op said she was was going to try and find the receipt....

That won't stop several more people coming on the thread to suggest she takes it back.

[ChimesAndCarols]

She's just spent 7 hours dealing with children, children and even more children

Yes, but that IS her job, which she is remunerated for

So it is. But if you read the OP properly.......she didn't get snotty with a child, did she?