to be vaguely flattered by this...?

[suedehead]

So, having a coil fitted in a few weeks. Went to the surgery today to have the swabs taken.

There I am, in the glamourous smear test position, when the nurse pipes up 'ah yes, a nice central cervix'.

What?! So this is a good thing? Must remember to update my LinkedIn profile...
I was, naturally, flattered by this. I almost thanked her and blushed.

Anyone else got a gynaecological humble brag...?

I'm crossing my legs reading these as I hate thinking about any sort of internal examination and feeling miffed because I have never had a compliment

My cervix is far over on the right hand side. I always have to tell the nurse when I go for a smear as otherwise she's groping around trying to find it.

The nurse doing my smear told me I was 'as clean as a whistle' down there I mean I know it's better than saying I was filthy but still - I found it very odd.

Apparently I have the most hypermobile elbows ever seen. Physiotherapist flock from all directions to see them whenever I whip them out. Bend backwards they do proud

" Bulbasaur

I'm starting to feel a tad insecure. I've never gotten a compliment on my cervix.I get told what a pain in the ass it is because it's so far back. "
It must be really far back to be causing you pain in the ass :o

I apparently have an irritable cervix.

Matches the rest of me.

But then, I have two of them, so maybe the other one has the sunny disposition?

I was told by a rather unimpressed sounding midwife that I have an extremely high cervix, apparently she really struggled to get the pessary in, and when it later fell out she had a look of dread on her face!

ithoughtofitfirst probably doesn't help to say that was DC5...

It must be really far back to be causing you pain in the ass

Ha!

Had my first smear, told the nirse I wasn't worried as I'd had a child so it can't be as bad as that, long story short when she was doing her stuff she said expressed surprise 'certainly doesn't look like you've had a baby' errrr thanks?!

I don't even know the point of having a small cervix ? Is it a complement at all ?

I'm 'hard to bleed' apparently which would make it difficult to be an intravenous drug user as no one can find my veins (thinking of getting a tiny tattoo to make it less 'fish and hope')

Have a tilted cervix which makes smears a challenge. Very jealous of your beautiful wombs and tidy labias!

I have been praised for 'a lovely placenta' a couple of times, and I'm often told what marvellous veins I have when I give blood.

But nothing beats a friend of mine. She's just had her first child and was at my house when I had a midwife visit. The midwife asked how her delivery had been. 'Oh, it was quite long, he was back-to-back.'
'Tsk,' said the midwife, 'did he turn?'
'No, he came out back-to-back.'
'Ow. Did you have forceps or anything?'
'No, pushed him out on my own. It wasn't too bad.'
'Good God!' said the midwife, 'You must have a pelvis like a BUCKET.'

Not a compliment, but when I was having a midwife checkup on my due date with DD2, a young trainee midwife/nurse (not sure what stage she was at but she looked about 18) couldn't find my cervix. The main midwife had asked if I minded if the trainee had a feel of it, but it turned into more of a rummage, and a fruitless one at that.

Poor girl was mortified. I didn't mind. You sort of feel like your nethers are fair game to any passing medic when you're pregnant (or at least I did). Everybody is just so interested.

Oh - I have dreadfully unhelpful veins. Deep, difficult to find, and painful when blood is being taken. Sadly I'm on a drug trial at the moment which means lots of bloods being taken and I have a bruise 3 x 2 inches across my inner elbow now a week later. Still sore, too.

I always had this notion that the cervix looks a bit like a wishbone in a chicken

I've just googled.

It doesn't look like that.
At all*.

(*Am over 40 years old and have had 2 children)

I've been told by two different people at two different scans that I have "a lovely neat little uterus", so despite having severe endometriosis that stuck my ovaries together, I'm happy with that

After my GP wrestled to get his speculum back after my last smear he said "you might want to lay off the pelvic floor exercises for a bit"

vairhona like this? That is hilarious!

I have ladylike veins .

Sadly my placentas have both been sub par, both ragged apparently.

After dd was born she had to have an MRI, the neurosurgeon explained to us that she had an exceptionally lovely brain.
Weirdo

I have crap veins, and an "unfavourable" cervix.
However, I apparently have excellent nipples (for breastfeeding). "Nice and long."

Confuddled... you've had 5 and have an awesome fanjo? NOT FAIR.

Oh and after I was born in 1951 and a long labour and forceps. My mother needed NO stitches . She said to her dr that she was amazed that she hadn't needed an episiotomy and he replied airily that there had been plenty of room !

I have to have blood tests every month because of my horrible meds. EVERY single time, the phlebotomist compliments me on my 'obliging' veins.

When I have smear tests, it always turns into a bit of a tug of war between my pelvic floor and the nurse when they want to get the speculum back out . I hate it because I know if I purposefully let it go, it's going to make a really horrible farty suction-y noise!

I got told off by my midwife when I was pregnant with DC1 for having stomach muscles that were too tight . In her experience, horse-riders always had this problem and it usually made for much longer and more traumatic labours. Well thanks for that! Just what a first timer wants to hear prior to delivering her first baby - which you've already put forward as being 'very large'.