to be vaguely flattered by this...?

[suedehead]

So, having a coil fitted in a few weeks. Went to the surgery today to have the swabs taken.

There I am, in the glamourous smear test position, when the nurse pipes up 'ah yes, a nice central cervix'.

What?! So this is a good thing? Must remember to update my LinkedIn profile...
I was, naturally, flattered by this. I almost thanked her and blushed.

Anyone else got a gynaecological humble brag...?

Oh and excellent pelvic floor I.e it kept trying to force her hand out.

Apparently I have a mobile cervix?? Wonder where it goes!?

I had an ultrasound scan on my breasts pre-baby for a lump. The sonographer told me what wonderful solid breasts I had, and that they would never sag... Shame breastfeeding seems to have changed their composition to something less solid!

Excellent pelvic floor apparently. This was after I had fired the speculum out at her
Shite veins though, I always apologise before they start trying to get blood

I was once left after the dr inserting the coil mutters. "2 children you've had?". For a few years I thought my bits must be well past it. (And I had been a bit self concious with dh as a new partner) But during a recent smear the nurse said "still a good pelvic floor then". I was stupidly pleased.

You're all show offs!

During my third (unsuccessful) stretch and sweep my midwife told me, whilst trying to pull my cervix forward, that it resembled a 'slippery fish'. Because that's exactly what I wanted to hear at that point .

Also got told I have 'selfish veins' as I'm difficult to take blood from.

After lengthy stitching up inside and out following birth of large middle child' the nurse praised the doctor saying " you'll be good at darning your socks after all that practise on story nanny"

sillymillyb I have an irritable uterus if it makes you feel better?

After my last baby was born the midwife asked if she could check for damage then said "You wouldn't know you'd ever had a baby" I was quite pleased with that one! Considering the difficulty getting him out (oh dear your 29 week membranes are breaking on their own and your baby's heart rate keeps disapperaing what do I do?) I'm impressed that there wasn't damage. With my second baby when the midwives checked my stitches they said you couldn't even see where they'd been (I know I was sewn up, they couldn't be bothered to properly numb me!)

Maddening - I have a Horseshoe kidney too. My 6 wk old daughter was 9lb 9oz at birth, on the 91st centile for length and head size and was 11days overdue. I'm 5ft2" and with an anterior placenta my poor od kidney got a right old battering towards the end

I have a 'well behaved' cervix.

^but a tilted uterus and 'stubborn' ovaries so it's not good on the Western front.

I'm starting to feel a tad insecure. I've never gotten a compliment on my cervix. I get told what a pain in the ass it is because it's so far back.

*not all good.
Obviously my cervix is excellent.

When I had my cervix checked for previous abnormal cells,
doc said they'd migrated, I thought he'd said emigrated and asked
'Where too?'

I've had dozens of internal scans and and smears though Bulba I think they get a bit stuck for what to say and try to jazz it up a bit

I've had dozens of internal scans and and smears though Bulba I think they get a bit stuck for what to say and try to jazz it up a bit grin

It's not undeserved groaning about my cervix though. It's a real bastard.

It's a pain to get to and it will never give readable cells during a smear.

I've given up. 3 different doctors and all "inconclusive" test results and a vague "well, just look for signs like abnormal bleeding". Did an internal ultra sound once to make sure and everything seemed just fine.

After dd1 was born in 1981 , back to back and very fast, I had deep tissue damage and was asked if the repair could be photographed in stages for a medical book. The doctor promised that I wouldn't be identifiable from the photos.
So somewhere out there are photos of me with all displayed ( my one claim to fame !)

I was told my cervix was "at 4 o'clock". Does that count as a compliment? #needy I did get told before (by a doc) that I had a "handsome ovary". Is my ovary male? Does it have stubble? I find stubble handsome...

During the course of fertility treatment, I was told I had a "beautiful endometrium". Who knew?

I got told by the midwife at our very last visit that I had "fantastic equipment" while gesturing towards my breasts

(DD hadn't been putting on weight/feeding well and had finally reached her target weight )

Oh, I a also told by every Phlebotomist that I meet that I have perfect veins for bleeding

I once told a gynae that I thought my cervix looked fantastic on the screen and beautifully healthy . He disagreed, showed me the abnormal cells and did a LLETZ.

I was pretty disappointed as it did look good!

My osteopath told me I have the perfect pelvis for childbirth....shame I'm having a section on Friday eh?

I'm so jealous of 'you wouldn't know you'd had a child' because dc2 ripped me a new arsehole. When midwife looked at the damage she paused and then finally said "oof.... ok.. where to start" and took an hour to stitch me up.

Oh and my cervix is slanty and posterior. Rubbish.