4yr olds in pushchairs

[SEH23]

aaaaahhh!!! i made my annual trip into the town shopping centre for christmas shopping today with my 5 month old DD.

LIFTS!! wow i hate them more than ever. waiting alongside 4 other pushchairs and then the mom with her 3-4yr old in pushchair pushes infront of me... WHAT?!?

a) wait your fucking turn
b) do you really need a buggy for children that old?

i hate my pushchair and can't wait for my DD to start walking so i can leave it behind. absolutely acknowledge shopping centres are busy etc but this child looked miserable, had a dummy stuck in his mouth and could be on reigns? surely?

Wow Dawndonnaagain, your mum must be SO lazy!

Haven't read most of thread so apologies if this has already been said

OP we use a pushchair for DD (5) because she has several disabilities and have now put wheelchair signs all over it to stop people judging us every time we use it.

We are currently in the process of requesting a wheelchair as DD is going to need a mobility device for the foreseeable future and because of ignorant judgmental people a wheelchair is preferable to a SN chair now DD getting older and more aware of others.

Please don't judge others based on your views of life esp if this is your first baby.

Yes pushing in is off for sure.

Putting a 4 year old in a buggy though? Perfectly reasonable depending on the child and the circumstances. My four year old sometimes goes in the buggy. He gets very tired. I don't drive, so days out involve A LOT of walking. More than he can reasonably cope with. So we use the buggy.

Other people put their four year olds in cars, on bike seats, in bike trailers... All of which mean the child doesn't have to walk. I fail to see the difference....?

Tell you what op, try taking your eldest shopping in the city for hours without the buggy then come back and report. If you are exceedingly lucky it will have been incident free. If, however, you are like the rest of us you will have had to retrieve your child from under many clothes rails, had to scoop them off the floor when they lie down because they are tired and gone all heavy, had to do a mad dash after them as they bolt after a passing bus, had to persuade them out of many shops you never wanted to go into in the first place, or had them stop and refuse to walk any further because their legs are hurting.

All these things have happened at some point to those of us who have to take our DC shopping. Sometimes I put 3yo DS in the pushchair because it's safer if we're in crowds or near busy roads. Sometimes I need to get stuff done in a hurry. Sometimes he's really tired. Sometimes I'm really tired an simply can't cope with constantly having to run after him or carry him. Frankly it's lazy to assume that the parents are being lazy without knowing all the facts. The child may have SN, have had a crappy nights sleep, or even just done a ton of running about and simply be tired. You are being unreasonable to judge someone based on this snapshot of her and her child's life. It's not unreasonable to think she's rude for pushing in, however.

The parents with 2 year olds who walk 'everywhere' are generally the parents who drive everywhere.

Mine was well over 6 when he gave up the buggy would you like to judge me OP I haven't snarled at somebody about it in a while

Seriously though keep your shovel in your own garden and concentrate on what yore cross about which seems to be the inconvenience of her pushing in.

*you're

I did have a little snort at the poster up thread who left the buggy in the car whenever she could...

Yes re driving! I got flack from a school run mum once as ds was in the buggy aged 3. She drove the approx 800 metres from her house to school every day, but according to her her kids "walked everywhere". Yep, all the way to the car and back ??

I got rid of my buggy's early because I drive everywhere shoot me If I had to walk everywhere (school, shops, park)...I would have kept my buggy for much longer. Its no fun trying to do an ordinarily ten minute walk with a toddler and shopping...it takes twice as long and how can you hold their hand when you have shopping bags?! So much easier to stick them in the buggy and bung the shopping in the basket.

I have a four year old with no special needs who goes in a buggy sometimes.

My reasons are as follows:-

We live 1.5 miles from school. I like to walk to school to pick her up - it's healthier for me, ds (1) gets some fresh air, better for the environment, cheaper, I don't need Valium to cope with the parking.....
She's just started reception. Some days she's fine - so she walks home. Some days she's a bit tired so she walks the first mile then her (poor) brother gets kicked into the backseat of the Phil & Teds and I push her the last bit. And some days she comes out so exhausted that she immediately collapses on the floor in a puddle of exhausted tears. Those days I have 3 choices - carry her, push her or drive her. I choose to push.

Pmsl at ditching a pushchair at 2. Yeah I bet you drive with your furthest journey on foot being less than 10 mins away. 15 at a push.

My two year old can walk but if I want to get anywhere, pushchair it is. My five year old will walk but was in a pushchair occasionally at 4 - because we would have a long walk and I'd have stuff to carry including another dc.

I used to judge. I learned.

My four year old still needs a buggy she is tall for her age so looks older too. She has autism tho so maybe we should get her a badge for judgemental dickheads.

The OP is just so ridiculously unreasonable and daft that I actually wonder if it is for real. Are those who have agreed with it actually the OP under a name-change, to give it validity??

Plenty of children need buggies until they are older than expected. Two of my three were bum-shufflers who didn't walk until late. One was only just short of her second birthday by the time she got to her feet. They needed their wheels for a lot longer as they built up to walking good distances.

Parental convenience. Yes, I admit that it can be, but who the hell wants to walk around shops with a crying, tired small child who is too heavy to carry far, plus shopping etc. etc.? No fun for anyone, and the pushchair also stops any possibility of them going off and causing problems. Win, win from a parent's point of view (well, from mine it was anyway).

I am one of the many for whom going out to do anything at all without my children when they were that age was a rare luxury. We don't live near family, so no local support network.

If your 18mo was 'walking everywhere', I promise you that you aren't doing as much walking as me! At that age, my school/nursery run was over two miles, and we had 35 mins in which to walk it. There is not an 18mo on the planet who can walk that fast!

OP, you are a twat. Don't pass on your judgey impatient intolerant attitude to your child. Please.

YANBU older (able bodied) toddlers in pushchairs sadden me and enrage me in equal measure.

It can often be a sign of underlying neglect as it's easier to control the actions of, and simultaneously ignore a toddler who is contained. Not my opinion but recognised by child safeguarding specialists.

I haven't read anymore than the OP BTW.

Sadden and enrage you in equal measure?

Pat, there is so much to feel sad and enraged about in the world, and yet you decide to funnel it at able bodied toddlers in pushchairs. The mind boggles at your pettiness and small minded ness.

Mine was an able bodied 6 yr old in a buggy pat should I report myself to social services?

PatButchersblah - I'd really like to see some links to 'safeguarding specialists' saying that an older child in a pushchair is a sign of underlying neglect, honestly.

When my dd2 was just 4, she went through a nightmare phase that coincided with her 8 month old brother being tested for all sorts of terrifying things. It was a very difficult time, dd2 would play up in the street and refuse to move, or have massive tantrums or run off. We had to do a daily school run for dd1 (5 at the time) and it was really difficult in these circumstances.The safest and best solution for everyone was to use a double buggy for ds and dd2.

Everyone's circumstances are different, everyone's children are different.

It would "sadden and enrage you" that some days my son can't manage to walk the last mile of a 5 mile round trip? If I let him ride in the bottom of the Phil & Ted's it's not because I want to contain him or ignore him, it's because he's bloody knackered!

I think a child safeguarding expert would be more concerned if I refused to let him ride and dragged him along, crying and protesting, behind me.

Can you reference that safeguarding document pat?

Oh dear Pat. You would have hated me. Shall I ring SS for you?

DD doesn't seem to have been badly affected, but I'm sure I am wrong on that, as are all the professionals who engage with her at school and other activities.

Pat read the thread and then come back and apologize.